[inkblot]

I could have really used my friends here in chat last night. I was online but had to leave when a guy I already didn't trust said things that made me not trust him even more. He is another regular internet user here, and its norm that familiar faces usually say hello. This guy already had a problem keeping his hands and mouth to himself, always wanting to hug me or kiss me. I try to shy away, but he continues. I've told him that I'm not interested in those thing from any man right now. Last night he was on the computer next to me and wouldn't leave me alone. He knows that the local shelter won't take me. With this in mind, he said that he would "...make them take me by forcing me to get pregnant". With HIM as the father! I don't remember exactly, but he asked me something like what would I say or do if he did that. I didn't know what to say! I could have said that I'd charge him with rape, but if this man is dangerous, I don't want him watching his actions to prevent legal problems, I want him caught! This man also tried to follow me when I left then. I stopped at the desk to talk to staff about him in case he would attempt something. He stopped at the desk with us and clearly was waiting for me. The girl at the desk and I faked conversation a bit, then finally walked around the corner to another area of the library to continue our conversation without him present. There's more that I'm not even saying in this post right now. If he's around I can always have a security person here walk me to my car. I learned that the security people here already know about this guy who bothers me and that he's trouble. When I left finally, I didn't do laundry that I so badly need to do. I wasn't in the mood then. I parked and sat in my car for a while and sent emails from my cell phone to several people. I also called and left a voice mail for my kid's T about being denied shelter access. He said last weekend that he had a friend on the board there who he talked to and asked questions. I invited our T to go ahead and talk to his friend some more if he thought it would do any good, then casually mentioned this guy had intention of doing things to me and someone recommended considering filing a police report just in case. My kid's T called back within 15-20 minutes for more details. He is very concerned about this guy. This guy has a very similar personality as my old neighbor who I had problems with. The T said that yes, he would like to talk to the shelter people more also and find out what's going on that they won't give me services. He'll have me sign a release to make it official. I would have loved to be in chat here last night after all that. I didn't want to go back online at the library though because of the possiblility of that guy. I did, I missed you guys. {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Grohol Gang}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Inky! I'm really glad you spoke to the library staff about this man. I hope they contact the police. Sure seems like that's their responsibility - to protect their patrons. You were wise to get away from him.

Good job taking care of yourself Inky! emmy

[SweetCrusader]

What a creep! I'm sorry he was such a jerk to you! Good job for taking some action to keep yourself safe!

(((((hugs)))))) if you want them

Angela

[LMo]

Inkblot, have you considered taking a self-defense for women course? Some police stations offer them free to the public. It's important that we know how to do more than "shy away" from men who make inappropriate gestures. A flat out "get the hell away from me" would have made it clear to him where the boundary lies. I also have a tough time with this; I tend to be 'nice', mostly out of fear of hurting feelings, second-guessing my understanding of their intentions, or fear of their anger. However, the second-guessing is the RED FLAG that I need to take action. I always know when I'm second-guessing myself, and that means I should listen to my gut. You obviously have some gut instincts and are second-guessing yourself, too, but try to pay attention when that happens.

A truly "nice guy" will understand if you overreact to an unwanted come-on. A "nice guy" wouldn't WANT a woman to feel uncomfortable. This guy seems to prey on your discomfort, and that's a SURE sign that he's not nice. So listen to your gut and maybe find a new internet cafe.

Good luck -- am hoping for the best for you,
LMo

[eskielover]

Inkblot, you seem well aware of your surroundings. That is step 1 in keeping yourself safe. The last thing you need it a "Jerk" like that around you ever let alone now while you are going through all that. Keep others around you, like you are doing, when he is around.

Good luck. I really feel for your situation, & I also hope the best for you.