[PahaSapa]

hi, i'm hoping maybe some of you guys got some ideas of what i can do about this. i always had some problems with police getting pulled over getting watched and stopped and searched and stuff cause of how i look with a lot of tattoos all over on my face and neck and stuff and i got a prison record so when i get pulled over and they run me it goes down from there. i ain't really had to much of a problem with it since we moved but something happened to today.

i was gonna look at some cabinets at a condo my friend is buying and i was gonna meet him there. he was late and called me getting there so i waited outside the place and i was just walking around checking it out. its a really nice place really expensive. and someone called the police on me. said i looked suspious. and i wasn't doing anything i dont' want any problems. and the police came and asked what i was doing and i told them just waiting for my friend and they ran my ID and made me empty my pockets and kept asking me over and over and i got nervious and they kept saying i kept changing my story. but then my friend got there and told them i know him and showed them the keys.

i don't think that i'm a bad person and i don't want to cause any trouble but i don't know what to do to make that not happen anymore.

[KMFDM]

They had no probable cause to search you. All you had to do was say "I do not consent to searches officer".

[Slippers]

You can't make things not happen. If you have a certain look - people have preconceived notions about you. Yes it sucks. I'd just try to keep that it in mind and be mindful of the impact your "look" might have on people who don't know you. People might just be plain scared - when in fact you seem like a perfectly nice guy.

In interactions with police - well, you know what to do. Whatever they tell you. :-) It helps to just smile, shake their hand. Greet them in as a friendly a manner as you can. And the smile will make you feel less nervous. Tell them you are getting out your ID, tell them what they will find when they run it, tell them that you've kept your nose clean for x number of years and you plan to keep it that way. ("I've got a family now," "I'm sober now", etc.)

Eventually you might get to know the cops in your area - that helps immensely.

Good luck, and congrats on changing your life around!!

S

[splitimage]

I'm sorry that you're having problems with the police unfortunately we do get judged based on our looks. I'd just focus on trying to stay as calm and friendly as possible and cooperate.

I'm sorry you got hassled today.

--splitimage

[TaintedGoth1]

I'm sorry you got searched and everything today. I know some people get so freaked out by the way a person looks...it sucks but it's a reality.

Take care.

[BalishBun]

I cannot say I have the same issues with cops, the only reason why they get behind me is because I have a nice big camaro and its a police magnet. Besides for that, cops can be a pain in the butt!

[MyBestKids2]

How horrible for you! It stinks when we are constantly judged on our looks and it makes my blood boil!

Shoot me a PM next time it happens, I'll be there in a jiffy

Dee

[Doh2007]

I guess it depends on how much it bothers you. You can't change people, just yourself. Are the tats worth it? Maybe go for a more conventional style.

[snowflake_48888]

Hi Sincity....its been a while since I chatted with you. Hope all is well with you.

My daughter had a serious run in with the law about 11 yrs ago. Of course after that happened she was a target for them from that point on. She would get all nervous and upset and of course that made it worse because of her reaction the police said she must be guilty of something...which wasn't true. She was trying to turn her life around but it wasn't happening to easily for her. And of course we live in small area where people know people...so just on sight she would get stopped. It has been within the last six months that she has moved about one hour away....changed her attitude about it....and things SEEM to be turning the right way for her. Man I hope it continues. She has been on a rough road.

So I guess what I am saying is hang in there. Eventually they will stop...and the sooner the better. It really is unfair how we are judged by sight....

(((sincity)))))
Snowy

[bebop]

first off I am so sorry you are going thru this. it is profiling to the fullest.
when we are young and going thru our rebellion we tend to do things to our bodies that make others uncomfortable such as tattoos and peircing that others deem not normal. not alot you can do about that at this point but alot of people I have heard talk talk about not being able to get good jobs and such due to all the tattoos that show. hon stay on the right track. you will eventually show them what a good person you are.

((((((((((((sincity))))))))))))))))

I am so sorry you had to go through this. If people would put there own houses in order and stoped judging others it would e such a nicer place. ((((((((((((sincity))))))))))))))hugs

Jinnyann xoxoxoxoxo

[PahaSapa]

thank you very much for writing back. i talked to my wife and my therapist about what happened and they both said that i gotta try and be more calm like you guys said cause they think that i'm guilty or hiding something.

i get so nervous that i'm going to get in trouble and go back to jail. i always felt like that was something wrong with me that makes me a bad person or less then everybody else from what my parents said and i used to be afraid to go places like the grocery store or a mall cause i thought i'm not supposed to be there and i'm gonna get in trouble for being there. i know better now but when something like this happens those feelings come back and i get afraid that im gonna go to jail and lose my family and everything that is good now like i wasn't supposed to have it in the first place.

i really like having my tattoos. there just about the only thing i like about me about how i look. i like them because they make it like my body is mine again instead of being all marked up with scars from stuff that happened i got tattoos of things that make me happy about my life like my wife's name and our sons birthday or tigers and stuff that make me feel like im stronger. it just plain sucks that something that makes me feel good about myself makes other people think i'm a bad person.

[okiedokie]

Hi Sin,
Have you ever thought about going in to your local police station and asking to speak to the sargeant on duty about this problem? Ask THEM what you can do. Go to their "house", when you're not nervous and you've thought about or even rehearsed what you want to ask or say.

My motto is "chase 'em and face 'em baby!"

Good luck,
Okie

Cops aren't bad people.

[AAAAA]

If someone called because you looked suspicious that isn't the police's fault. And whoever said that they had no probable cause to search is absolutely correct. If you've paid your debt to society you have nothing to fear. Do not agree to the search. When I was young, I always said I have notthing to hide so search away, as I get older, I'm a bit more cranky and I say, no way, get a warrant.

[Doh2007]

Have you seen the movie "Crash?" We just watched it again the other night. It addresses what you're talking about.

[PahaSapa]

hi doh, yeah i seen that movie. it was good. it's scary that stuff really happens.