[bptoo]

I tried to sleep, but I can't. I had the surgery to have the biopsy done last Wednesday. It was very simple outpatient stuff, left me pretty uncomfortable. They told me then that I'd have the test results back by no later than Tuesday (tomorrow). I got home this evening to a call from the doctor. I immediately started to shake and studder. He purposely beat around the bush, asked me how I was, was I bummed about the niner game (knows I'm a fan), etc. I finally blurted out, "What are the results?!?". He told me that everything was clean and there were no signs of cancer cells. Whew! We still don't know what's been causing me too get so ill, but at least we know what's not causing it. He said we will go back to the drawingboard and figure this thing out. I thanked him and hung up. And then I started to cry.

I've done a lot of reflecting on my life over the last few months, especially my mortality. Two thoughts are foremost in my mind. One, I'm not afraid to die. Death is just the next step, we all do it eventually. I hope that when my time comes, I'll be remembered as someone who cared about other people. That's important to me. I lived my entire childhood in an environment filled with hatred, I want my adulthood to be different. Two, I'm not ready to die now. I have things I want to live for. I have things I want to do. I have people that I love. I've never been to Hawaii, or Paris, or the Bahamas, and I'm going to go. Anybody want to come with me? I have the most amazing 2 1/2 year old granddaughter. When she comes over and spend the night, she always comes to "Papa" for everything. I love her so much and I want to see her grow up. I want to see my two kids make their own way too. My youngest daughter moves out in February, and my son has three more years and he's gone. I want to see them have their own lives. I want to spoil their children...and then send them home And God, I have the most amazing friends! I won't even attempt to name names here cause I'd leave someone out and feel horrible about it. But you all stick by me, even when it seems I'm doing my best to try to push you away. The emails, the PMs, the phone calls, they've all kept me going. These last two months have been horrible, and without your support I don't know what I would have done. You've all heard me call the members here family. That's not just lip service. To me, you are my family. My own family never treated me with the love, caring, and compassion that you do. I'll always be here for all of you, if you need something, just ask. If I can help, I will. We are all lucky that John has given us this safe place to share our common bonds. These are just some of the reasons I've found that I want to live. The next time depression hits, and I think, "I wish I were dead", I'll give that a long second thought. Because today I'm glad I'm alive.

Thank you all for your support, your concern, and your love. You are all wonderful people. The next time that depression is telling you that you're useless, and no good to anyone, stop and ask me. I'll remind you what a truly amazing person you really are.

My love to all,
Greg

[SeptemberMorn]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Greg}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Alright! You're going to be just fine!

Love you, Hun!

Tears of joy. I am so amazed at you.

You are a blessing on this planet. Thank you for sharing this with us.

(((Greg and family)))

I'm so so so so so freaking relieved!!!!!!

[Rapunzel]

{{{{{{{{{{Greg}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Thanks-you for letting us know! I'm so glad. And definitely, you are someone who cares about other people. That has always been clear to me. You are really a terrific guy! And you have a lot to live for!

Take care of yourself. Feel better soon.

Love,
Wendy

Wonderful news, Greg! Lots of people here just breathed a big sigh of relief! Thanks for letting us know.

Emmy

[Wants2Fly]

Dear Greg -- I am relieved that a wonderful person such as you will be around the world for a nice time to come. I hope that you do take those trips, and enjoy them mightily. I am new to the Forums, but it is so clear that you have indeed helped many people and are much loved by many people here.

What a wonderful holiday present for you to get a clean bill of health.

[heatherm]

((((((((((((Greg))))))))))))

Oh hun....I am so relieved for you. Love you xoxoxo

[Fuzzybear]

That's such wonderful news Greg!!!

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Greggie))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Love you sweetie,
Bear
xoxoxoxoxox

[silver_queen]

That's good to hear Greg, it's so nice to know you're doing well!

[mj14]

Greg,

What a happy day this is, to hear such good news.

You need have no doubt at all the you will be remembered as someone who cared about people. You bring so much love into the world, and we are so lucky to have you in our family here.

*dancing for joy*
Love ya bunches,
Jo

[gardenergirl]

That's just wonderful. I'm so so so happy to hear that. Good news is grand to share. I'm sure you and your family are so relieved. What a wonderful, belated reason to give Thanks.

gg

[shakes]

((((Greg)))))
I am so happy that the tests came back and that you are alright.

Jessica

[angel04]

I just LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!! More and more everyday.
sweet thang, doing the dance of joy!!!
boops

Great, Great, Great NEWS!!!! A big hug and kiss for you!!!! Pat

[SweetSunshine]

OHH GREGGY GREGGY GREGGY!!!! WOOO HOOOOOOOOOO!~ That is such amazin news!!! I am tickled pink for you and hope that whatever this is that is makin you sick just *POOF* goes away soon. YOU are one awsome Fella ya know it? Love ya to pieces!! (((((((GREGGY)))))))
LOTSA HUGZ~n KISSES headed your way Sweetie!!

Love Ya ,
Tryin2bme

[Leslie]

(((((((((((((((((((((bptoo))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I am soooooooooo happy for you. You have been in my thoughts, thanks for posting.

Leslie

[inkblot]

That is truly the most excellent news and I am so happy for you! I can tell how relieved you are. BIG HaPpY {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{BP}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

[nightdream]

I'm so happy for you! This is the best news I have not heard for a long time. You even got me out of my hole to share this wonderful wonderful news!

Wow! (((((((((((((((((Greg)))))))))))))))))

with love
nightdream

...i was so glad to hear that all is well by you.......you are truly one of the most caring human beings that i have ever come across......good things DO happen to good people....so happy for you and for everyone who cares about you....

[bptoo]

Thank you all so much! Now I'm crying again, it feels good though. Someone from another MN site once told me that all these sites are all the same. I disagree, this one is special, it's far and away the best, and nobody cares about each other the way they do here. And it's all of you that make it better than anywhere else. I love you guys so much, thank you for being my friends and sticking by me. I'll be there when you need me...

Love,
Greg

[PlanningtoLive]

I am so happy, Greg. Not sure what it would be like to have you seriously ill - you're such a bright spot here and in my life at this site.

Just as a side note, thank you for all being there when I've needed a shoulder or advice.

xoxoxoxox

Mary Alice

[Nerak]

((((((((((((((((Greg)))))))))))))))

[(JD)]

WOW! How wonderful for you! I missed all this "on time" and apologize... isn't it good that you decided to share it with your real family, now they can celebrate WITH you and you don't have to explain that you kept it from them... blah blah blah...

I only lived with the cancer/biopsy fear for one week... I don't can't imagine 2 months. But you still have symptoms, and I hope the doctors figure it out soon.