[lenjan]

After 6 weeks off, and some time in the ha-ha house coping with a brutally severe depressive episode, I'm going back to work tomorrow. I need all the good thoughts I can get, based on my last conversation with the big boss, who still totally doesn't get it.

It's only part-time for the first couple of weeks, and I probably should have spent more of my time off than I did looking for a new job, but I couldn't deal.

Anybody finds my tiny speck of belief in myself, tell it it's OK to come home now, k?

[bebop]

good luck hon. I hope it all goes well for you tomorrow! much love and plenty of ((((hugs))))

[PlanningtoLive]

I have faith in you, Candy. Just remember to do what is right for yourself first. You matter most of all.

Good luck and warm

Mary Alice

[reddevil]

Good luck!

If the doctors think you can go home, then it's ok.

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((( Candy )))))))))))))))
Good luck bear buddy

[Christina86]

((((((((((((((((Candy))))))))))))))))))

Good thoughts and good luck!!

If you need more time off to find another job though, do whatever is best for your wellbeing, ok?

Love ya

[splitimage]

(((Candybear))))

Seriously good luck on going back to work tomorrow. I'm sure it will be stressfull. I'm glad that you're starting part time to ease yourself into it.

Have faith in yourself that you can do the job and don't feel bad about taking the time off. You had an illness that you had to deal with - you did, and now you're on the road to getting better. Don't be surprised though if at first working wipes you out completely and you don't have much energy for anything else. That's how it was for me when I went back to work, although I'd been off a lot longer than you.

Just remember to be gentle with yourself and cut yourself some slack.

---splitimage

[sabby]

(((((((((((((((((( candybear )))))))))))))))))))

Wishing you well hon.....you can do anything you put your mind to, I have no doubt!


sabby

[multipixie9]

Candybear,

I'm sorry your boss is clueless. Someday life will probably kick him severely and maybe then he'll have a clue about more of life.

In case your confidence gets delay - I'm sending you a bit of mine. I do feel you will be OK - one day at a time you will find your way through this maze and find your next direction for which way to go.

Having a depression is not shameful, its human. Be kind to yourself and take it as it comes and keep looking for all the support you can get.

You will get past this time and look back with gratitude at how far you have come. I'll pray for tomorrow to go well for you.

Leslie

[(JD)]

((((Candy)))) thinking of you today and sending good energy.

[Razzleberry]

Good luck. I just went back last Monday after two stints in the psych hospital. I have only worked maybe 3 days since June.

Just take it one day at a time, and try not to let the stress get to you.

My boss doesn't seem to understand either, and I think he might fire me if he wasn't scared about discrimination.

[AAAAA]

(((((Candy))))) Good luck! You're awesome at your job, they're lucky to have you!

[SeptemberMorn]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
candybear said:
Anybody finds my tiny speck of belief in myself, tell it it's OK to come home now, k?

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I found it!! I found it!! I was triming a vine this morning and it had climbed in and was hiding but I uncovered it when I whacked off a limb!

I put it on the wings of a fly and sent it on. The fly promised me faithfully to feed it and deliver it to your office! Did you see that fly? Hope it didn't get lost on the way!

{{{{{{{Candy}}}}}}}}}} You KNOW you can do it! You've been doing this for how many years? It's not you, Hon. It's that jerkwad of a boss you have! Show him how wrong he is, Babes! You can do it! *I* know you can as well as you do!

[lenjan]

Funny, that's what T tried to tell me last week -- "you've been doing this for how many years and done well at it, and you're letting one person decide to run you out of the field?"

Well, maybe I can and maybe I can't do it, but right now I think it's a question of wanting to. I've been here 2 hours and I'm finding myself resenting it. I don't want to be here. I don't want to do this. Too much stress, way too little compensation for the stress. I'm just tired of it all.

I'm thinking of changing fields entirely. The Red Cross is offering free training to people who want to be phlebotomists (the vampires who draw your blood at the dr.'s office). I get stuck so much I just tell them to aim for my permanent bruise, because that's the one good vein. I think it would be nice to be on the other side, LOL. Plus, as long as there are people, there is going to need to be health care, so there would be good job security.

Oh, who knows. I just don't want to be here, is all I know for sure.

[eskielover]

(((((((((((((((((((CandyBear)))))))))))))))))))))))))),

Sometimes our bodies are the ones to tell us initially where we should & shouldn't be.....your body & stress took you away from your position for awhile......now coming back, you don't want to be there?????? I think maybe your body was telling you something you should really listen to. Find something else where you feel more comfortable & not the regret of being there.

Of course, when we come back after a long period off, the mind & body doesn't really want to be there, but if the stress that took you out in the first place is just under the surface....or maybe not even that deep.......I think it's something you need to listen to & really start looking for another position for yourself.

I know when my career went down the tubes (my techincal engineering position fell apart & I ended up in a glorified secretarial position.......had a break down because of it) . Then the huge earthquake hit in Northridge California & I just couldn't force myself back to work. I went back maybe 3 or 4 days & just fell apart. I never could go back & the stress of thinking I should, turned the anxiety into depression & into suicide attempts. It got to the point I would have an anxiety attack anytime they even called from work to see how I was on a social call, not business.....I never did go back to work & ended up on disability to this day......14 years later. Once those attacks hit, it seems that they too easily come back once they hit the level they hit with me. I can force myself through stresses, & people say how well I handle stress, but my insides aren't anything like my outsides & hide everything too well.

If you need more time off, don't know if you have medical leave of absense available or some other option........... but you may want to use it rather than push yourself past a point where you can more easily recover.

Just a suggestion from my past experience,
Debbie

[Rapunzel]

(((((((( Candy ))))))))))

I believe in you. And can relate more than you would guess. My boss is trying to destroy me. Everything I do is all wrong. If she pushes me any further it will be over the edge. I don't have even a millimeter left. The same assessment and behavior plan that I presented to my faculty supervisor, who signs off on my work, and she told me I was a good writer and she was impressed; my boss could find no good in whatsoever and demanded that I redo it entirely, and a million other things too. Some jobs are just toxic. Wanna go job hunting with me?

[DocClyde]

(((Candy)))

You can definitely do it. I have faith in you and all of you

Bob Dole Clyde