[vacantangel]

the problem is that I can't get away from myself and that's what I want to run away from.

[SweetCrusader]

I've felt that way, too, honey. So even if you can't get away from you, know that you're not alone.

*safe hugs*

[kimmydawn]

(((((((((((((((((((( angelgirl )))))))))))))))))))))))))

[vacantangel]

Thanks but somehow I need to find a way to get away from myself. I'm having a very bad day, one bad thing right after another. I should've stayed in bed but then again, I'd still be there so that wouldn't help much.

DAMN, I HATE MYSELF SO MUCH RIGHT NOW!!!

[Nerak]

(((((((((((((Angel))))))))))))

[vacantangel]

Thanks for the hugs Kimmy Dawn and Karen but right now they're not penetrating through. My heart is just too broken. I wish I wasn't here. Such a waste of space, I am.

((((((((((((((AngelGirl))))))))))))))

[Lexicon78]

I often want to run from myself, too. It's too much just living with yourself sometimes. I'm always saying I need a vacation, but what I really mean is a vacation from myself, so I know where you're coming from.

Hang in there.

[vacantangel]

Thanks everybody for the understanding and hugs. I wish I could feel them but I'm just too depressed right now.

Not only do I want to get away from myself, I'm sure I'm not the only one who wants to get away from me and that hurts more.

[Myzen]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
the problem is that I can't get away from myself and that's what I want to run away from.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Hi Angel,

I think most of us here know that feeling. I used to really do it, waking up in the night with anxiety and going out walking, riding my mountain bike, driving 50 miles (imagine driving in the middle of an anxiety attack!) - anything to get away from the emotional pain.

Then one day, about two years ago, I said to myself - stop doing this - when it gets bad stay here and face up to it. You have to face up to your illness and yourself. That's when I started to get better, and was able to stop myself running.

We don't have a choice, we have to live with ourselves and I believe that we can learn to do that. It's frightening but we can do it.

Good thoughts to you, Myzen

[vacantangel]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
the problem is that I can't get away from myself and that's what I want to run away from.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Hi Angel,

I think most of us here know that feeling. I used to really do it, waking up in the night with anxiety and going out walking, riding my mountain bike, driving 50 miles (imagine driving in the middle of an anxiety attack!) - anything to get away from the emotional pain.

Then one day, about two years ago, I said to myself - stop doing this - when it gets bad stay here and face up to it. You have to face up to your illness and yourself. That's when I started to get better, and was able to stop myself running.

We don't have a choice, we have to live with ourselves and I believe that we can learn to do that. It's frightening but we can do it.

Good thoughts to you, Myzen

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

It might be easier if I stopped hurting people inadvertantly. I just can't bear the thought of being capable of hurting anybody, especially those that I love, but unfortunately somehow I manage to keep doing it.

[Myzen]

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

It might be easier if I stopped hurting people inadvertantly. I just can't bear the thought of being capable of hurting anybody, especially those that I love, but unfortunately somehow I manage to keep doing it.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Hi Angel,

I hear you. I'm wondering, just suggesting, that what your worried about is part of the illness as well.

I've met a few pretty nasty people in my life and they never seemed to worry at all if they hurt anyone, they just went ahead and did it.

Maybe we worry because we feel bad inside, but we are not really bad at all, just ill.

This is the kind of thing that therapists can help us with, to get some reflection and see things more clearly. I hope you can get something sorted out. In the meantime stay with us Angel, it's good to talk to you.

Cheers, Myzen

[MacD]

please don't run away...love yourself...i only wish you could see the you that we all see...hang in there and do something wonderfully indulgent to take care of YOU and only YOU.....love grace

[vacantangel]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

It might be easier if I stopped hurting people inadvertantly. I just can't bear the thought of being capable of hurting anybody, especially those that I love, but unfortunately somehow I manage to keep doing it.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Hi Angel,

I hear you. I'm wondering, just suggesting, that what your worried about is part of the illness as well.

I've met a few pretty nasty people in my life and they never seemed to worry at all if they hurt anyone, they just went ahead and did it.

Maybe we worry because we feel bad inside, but we are not really bad at all, just ill.

This is the kind of thing that therapists can help us with, to get some reflection and see things more clearly. I hope you can get something sorted out. In the meantime stay with us Angel, it's good to talk to you.

Cheers, Myzen

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Ill or not, the end result is the same, I keep hurting anybody who comes near me. It's safer for everybody to keep their distance from me and leave me alone, that way I can't inflict myself of anybody and they won't get hurt.

[vacantangel]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
please don't run away...love yourself...i only wish you could see the you that we all see...hang in there and do something wonderfully indulgent to take care of YOU and only YOU.....love grace

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I can't imagine that you see anything other than the very needy and fragile me who keeps falling apart almost on a daily basis it seems. I think my rapid cycling is getting way out of control. The highs are wonderful but these lows are unbearable. My constant rapid cycling is also too intense for those in my life to handle too, because it can change several times a day. Seems this depression is settling in, it's almost 24 hours and going just as strong.