Feeling sorry for yourself.

I find myself often feeling sorry for myself. Today it is especially bad. I wonder if anyone else feels this, or if it is a part of having a "disorder", "chemical imbalance" etc etc? Sometimes I think all I need is a good slap upside the head, not therapy. I find this a rather pathetic trait in myself, and it snowballs from there.

dear greenidentity,

you haven't given us enough information to be able to tell if you are having a "pity party" or if you are suffering from a really low mood.

i've struggled with depression and some other issues and for me i've had some self-pity at times, but at others i've been suffering from legitimate pain from real issues, grief or chemical imbalances that made me feel lower than a snakes belly.

if i were taking an "educated guess", i'd guess you were being pretty hard on yourself - something i'm well acquainted with.

why don't you share a bit more of what is going on in your situation?there are good people here who will encourage you if you are down and point out how you can help yourself if you are stuck in a harmful behavior.

speaking from an unfortunate amount of past experience - a "slap upside the head" never did me any good, only harm. when i've been really out of line a few pointed comments from a well-meaning friend did me far more good than any physical "wake-up call".

kindness with truth is the most helpful way i've found. i hope you find what you really need here.

leslie and her pixies

ps: welcome to pc.com - i am glad to meet you!

greenidentity,

Don't be so hard on yourself. Sometimes a good pity party and a few tears are what is needed to get us through a particularly bad day. Go with the flow and feel better soon my friend.

I've posted around a little bit. My issues today have come from a doctors appt. I attended. I have some health issues that seem to be piling up. They are mostly things I can control. So because I haven't kept them in control enough, I feel like...OK: there really is no one to blame but myself. And that leads me to believe: I am weak, I am pathetic and someone who everyone sees as a sick person (i'm only 30 by the way) by my own hand.

I always feel like there is something terribly wrong with me anyways, and the health (minor as they are) issues just make it worse. Any normal, good person "does something about it."

Sorry if that didn't make sense.

It made sense to me. I feel the same way and behave the same way from time to time. I'll admit I'm not "a normal person." LOL I happen to like my uniqueness.

Have you ever been diagnosed with depression? Oftentimes, that's what keeps me from taking care of my other problems.

TC

I know I'm not depressed. I go up and down in subtle ways, and find joy in many things. I just can't focus on the positive stuff/get over it like normal people can.

I think having a healthy concern for ourselfs at first feels like feeling for sorry for ourselfs, I dont get the feeling that you are just feeling sorry for yourself, not that I'm an expert. I think therapy is just a healthy thing to do to help us treat ourselfs more respectfully...Its ok to take our issues serious, if we don't then how can we take anyone else's serious?

hi and welcome to pc, ((((((greenidentity)))))) i could relate to much of what you posted. when i was depressed, even if i didn't feel i feel i was depressed, many things seemed overwhelmeing to me such as health issues. i would have what i called a temper tantrum within myself....like why do i have to have these health problems when other people don't have to even worry about their health? my therapist really helped me with this skewed thinking. he said you have high blood pressure and what do you do about it? i said i take a pill to adjust it. then he said well that's all you have to do to control your other health issues. (i was angry i had been diagnosed another thing at the time). i was like, why me? he said, why not you?!!!
those health issues you stated that "are piling up"...are they making you feel overwhelmed and perhaps angry too that you have to deal with them? if so, know that those health things can be fixed and you can get on with the rest of your life healthier because you've addressed them. just take baby steps to deal with each one and try to be kinder to yourself. it's an adjustment when we are dealing with new issues like our health. jme, but i'd say work with your doctors and telling them how you feel about all this may help too....keep us posted, k? you matter to us and we do care.i'm very glad you found us.

We do not see you as sick person here, we see YOU for who you really are, someone STRONG enough to question, to think deeply, to consider things that can be done to take the baby steps toward HEALING. To quote another member here, HEALING HAPPENS. I know from personal experience

((((((((((( greenidentity )))))))))))))
I understand the feeling you are explaining very well, I just wanted to send you some hugs.

GI, previously, before I got better, I was called a whiner and I was told that I can make things difficult. I wear my feelings on my sleeve and things just weren't right for me. I didn't really take it too much to heart when I heard those comments. It is hard when things aren't right! Hopefully we all can support you along the way on your journey!

Feeling sorry for yourself, huh? Join the club. I don't think of it as some kind of disorder. This just happens to very sensitive people that also happen to have a brain. These people use their brains to question what is wrong, what went wrong, why are they feeling unwell. I wish more people looked inside themselves like this.

Sure, I feel sorry for myself. I'm 32, no boyfriend, no husband, no kids and...no prospects either. For the past 2 years I've been doing research on adoption, on single motherhood, etc....basically preparing myself for the life I'm obviously being served. Most definitely I feel sorry for myself. I see how men always keep me at a distance so that "I don't get the wrong idea", I see how they ignore me, I see how they get interested in every woman even a year younger than me.

I see how I'm living my life as a ghost. I'm not really present on this planet. Nobody sees me. I have a cell phone, it rarely rings!
How about that! A big dose of feeling sorry for myself. So, most definitely you are not alone.

First off--thank you alllll!!! You are so kind...I feel fuzzy and warm.

It's not quite a "why me" issue though. Mine is more like...why have I done this to myself? I'm a weak loser. I have PCOS, am overweight, have high triglycerides, slightly high cholestoral, slightly high liver enzymes, low thyroid (take meds for it), and experience some respiratory distress due to smoking (even though I dont smoke much anymore at all...the damage has been done.)

I know I'm leaving myself open to attack here. I guess I don't really care--any contempt one may feel towards me will not top my contempt for myself.

So I feel like--allthis crap is my fault, I'v had too many vices, why can't I just change it all?????

It makes me feel mad.

Do you feel like not liking yourself very much had anything to do with not taking care of yourself? Any punishment needs involved? You are expecting contempt from us?

It seems like those negative tapes of internal dialogue can be quite negative and destructive. It's not easy to change that around but not impossible. No need to beat yourself up whatsoever.

That negative self-talk and internal monologue can be very destructive. It's not easy to change it around to affirmations but not impossible. No need to beat yourself up like that.

How about focusing on what's RIGHT with you..what's right, what's working in your life, your personality traits that are just darned RIGHT! Here is information about a book entitled What's Right About Me.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/pro...283155&s=books

I don't know. I've always been a "wild child." I've taken considerable care of myself for the last few years though. Settled down a lot, try to eat healthy, smoke way less, get lots of sleep, take vitamins, drink a ton of water, don't drink alcohol as much anymore. Yea I could do better, but at this point in order to be perfect, it would be a 24 hour job!!

I know people who have beat themselves up so much worse than me, and have no repercussions health-wise. My mom says I am overly worried about my health.

Having PCOS upsets me. It's not fatal, but it causes all sorts of annoying problems and I feel hopeless that it will ever go away.

So it sounds like you are doing a pretty good job like the rest of us! I don't know to many perfect people. Maybe your health issues resulted from things outside of your control like genetics or environment?

that was exactly what happened to me...a lot of genetics...so yes i did feel overhwlemed and angry at first.
but really it doesn't matter how we got to some point in our health, imho. it's what we proceed to do about it that matters, GI. ..and for me baby steps to change helped me a lot. and learning to accept the things or conditions i couldn't change but could take meds to improve those conditions has made all the difference.
if you were overly obsessed over your health, GI, you'd be running to the doc every breathing moment of your life. try to take it slower and deal with the issues you know you can do something about. beating yourself up about what you should or could have done is counter-productive to good solutions for yourself.
hope some of what i posted makes sense and you find something helpful here.

I'd just like to thank all those encouragers posting here on behalf of GreenIdentity (and me, if I can sneak in here, ). As I read this thread, I am so encouraged. Thanks for reaching out GreenIdentity. Your coping mechanisms have kept you alive, and as well as you are, to this day and, I, for one, am excited about the propects of more good health coming to you, from now and into the future. All the knowledge you have and your courage to reach out in time of need, makes me see that these steps you are taking (and me too for my issues) will only take you to a healthier place.

PC, too, amazes me for this reason . I'm just so glad you found it so that you can have the spectacular people here support you (and along with that, I am uplifted too, by reading here).

Thanks again,
Ice

(((((((IceStatue)))))))

I feel so much better today. I have commited to going to a gym. I'm not too thrilled about it yet (i dont like to excercise!) but I realize I have to do some excercise now. Isn't really about losing weight ,(although I do aim to lose 10 pounds within a few months) its more about seeing if it will help my PCOS, triglycerides and cholesterol. I also worry about my circulation...my legs fall asleep easier than when I was younger.

And tonight, I am going out with a few friends who I adore, so that makes me happy!!!!

I have found so much support, information, and insight here! Big thanks and hugs to you all!!