[wordshaker]

I'm in a lot of pain. My situation. I lost job, friends, money, health, self respect, and sanity. Overnight. Very hard to take. Hard to hide it from kids. It's so much more than the lost job the kids see. It's lost job and all that brings, coming to terms with having a mental illness, rare brain stem tumor, betrayal of a friend, all the same time. I'm jumping through hoops now like you can't believe for $94 food stamps, couple hundred fuel assistance, can't get unemployment due to apparent attempted fraud problem, can't get social security card cuz the sent to wrong address. I'm utterly humiliated, sitting around takin a number, terrified about the future, failing at being unemployed, failing at failing. All my former sociopath spouse’s words are coming back to haunt me. I'm in so much pain. Please give me any words of wisdom. It’s a dark night. I’m trying to hang on.

[wordshaker]

“If we shadows have offended,
Think but this, and all is mended,
That you have but slumbered here
While these visions did appear.
And this weak and idle theme,
No more yielding but a dream,
Gentles, do not reprehend:
If you pardon, we will mend:
And, as I am an honest Puck,
If we have unearned luck
Now to 'scape the serpent's tongue,
We will make amends ere long;
Else the Puck a liar call;
So, good night unto you all.
Give me your hands, if we be friends,
And Robin shall restore amends.

― William Shakespeare

Peace and love 🕊

[Fuzzybear]

I’m sending love

[Breaking Dawn]

Dear wordshaker, I wish you good health & happiness & for all of your troubles to be taken away. Thank you for sharing with us your thoughts & heart & A Midsummer Night's Dream. Love to you, wordshaker!

[downandlonely]

I'm so sorry for all you're going through. I can't even imagine it.

[wordshaker]

I’m so grateful for your uplifting words. Thank you for adding your love to the collective unconscious. I’m hoping for healing in my body and mind and heart and your kind words mean everything to me. Sending love back at you. May each of us continue to be a blessing and a force for good and healing in this world.

[Aviza]

I've been there, pray ask God for help He listens to our cries. He helped me but I failed to listen to even Jesus. I was so stuck in my misery even when shown what to do I didn't.

Possible trigger:

My biggest mistake resulting in my son's suicide.

IMO. But Pray than listen to the guidance given even if it goes against all other guidance.

[wordshaker]

Thank you for the uplifting reminder, I will add my prayers of peace and comfort and that your son be embraced in the healing love of the universe. He lives still.

[downandlonely]

Originally Posted by Aviza

I've been there, pray ask God for help He listens to our cries. He helped me but I failed to listen to even Jesus. I was so stuck in my misery even when shown what to do I didn't.

Possible trigger:

My biggest mistake resulting in my son's suicide.

IMO. But Pray than listen to the guidance given even if it goes against all other guidance.

I hope you are not blaming yourself for what your son did.

[Aviza]

I am responsible for him feeling unloved, forgotten, or whatever else he was feeling that caused him to end his life.

[wordshaker]

@Aviza, I’m so sorry you feel this way. We all make mistakes, so easy to see in retrospect. We are blessed to be our children’s keepers for a time, but they are born their own being, with aspects of theirselves always beyond our reach. We can only do the best we can with what we’ve been given in the moment. Sending love.

[downandlonely]

@Aviza you could not have known what he was going to do. I'm sure if you had known, you would have done all in your power to save him.

[Breaking Dawn]

Dear wordshaker & Aviza, I was wondering how you feel about the song, "I Believe"? I don't know how to post links, but I know the words by heart. I love the piano music that I've heard behind singers, too. If you don't mind me saying the words here?, or consider this a trigger warning?

I believe for every drop of rain that falls, a flower grows.
I believe that somewhere in the darkest night, a candle glows.
I believe for everyone who goes astray, someme will come to show the way.
I believe. I believe.

I believe above the storm, the smallest prayer will still be heard.
I believe that someone in that great somewhere hears every word.

Every time I hear a newborn baby cry, or touch a leaf, or see the sky,
Then I know why
I believe.

If you are still reading, I hope you can youtube the song & get a good recording of it, if you want to hear it.
God bless you both!