it is not a contest here...
were not all competing...
trying to be the one with the MOST or WORST problems...
sometimes it just happens that way.
i am tired of reading the posts that say "i know my problems don't match up to yours in severity"
or things like that.
we all have different dx's, different levels of these, different factors in life, different everything.
one person is not somehow better nor worse depending on how ill or how hurting they are.

thats what makes this place the place it is.

[phoenix30]

When I first started to come here, I had never talke dto anyone about any of this stuff - and I feel like it's taken me ages to 'open up'. Part of that was the feeling I had of 'not being worthy' or my stuff being insignificant and also the worry of making someone else feel bad and the fear that I am wasting peoples time.

I know what you've said makes sense but sometimes it's hard hear your inner voice when the paranoia is screaming at you.

[phoenix30]

But I'm so glad I have found this place and it is helping me.

[vacantangel]

Who is more ill? Maybe those that have already lost their battle or those that are teetering on the edge, losing their footing or those that have already fallen off the edge. I don't think dx matters.

[mortimer]

Funny, I always thought the people with the least amounts of issues were 'winning'.

*shrug*

[vacantangel]

true or how well they handle those issues?

[Mahali]

It is not a contest. I think perhaps people who say that their "issues" are not as bad as others are maybe trying to not compete as opposed to competing. They are trying to be kind.

The only competition I feel is within. No other one matters. Phoenix30 made a very good point. It is difficult when starting here. We do not want to step on toes. Mortimer in my opinion you have the answer.

We must remember that pain is relevent to the person and that person's experiences. What causes me pain may not cause anybody else pain.

[kick_me_as_i_crawl]

..... How can there be judgement over the severity of ones mental state, who has the right to say my problems bigger then yours, each and every person is UNIQUE one may feel more stressed over something then someone more MENTALLY CAPABLE... the people that are truely ill are the ones that believe that theyre own problem is always bigger always better and always has to win,it is no competition the way a person feels is what they feel alone if they feel the world is like concrete upon there shoulders so be it,!!! maybe instead of ctiticising one anothers feelings we should help ourselves by helping them...

poIsOn mE wiTh Bitter LieS
kIcK me AS i CRawL
tie thE rOpe AROunD mY KnecK
anD watCH mE as i fall ...

[Mahali]

Exactly. I agree.

(i hope you guys realize this is EXACTLY what i meant by this thread... that its NOT a contest)

really just want anyone, who feels as if their problems arent worthy of discussing or complaining about, to realize that were all in different places and we all want to listen.

[nothemama8]

We are who we are , added bonus is our disorders

Very well said Jen.

Ryan

[sqrlb8]

To borrow a quote from one of the most luminous minds ever to come out of American popular culture, Popeye said, "I yam what I yam."

[kimmydawn]

well, "i yams what i yams" and i am special and unique. there is no other quite like me. that is the same for every single person alive i believe.

luvs to all

[Rebound]

While I agree with you completely, for me, the feeling that I'm just a wimp for feeling down is the inevitable consequence of depression which has no outside cause. In my more logical moments, I'm aware that my ups and downs are not based on whether I have a girlfriend or a job or extra cash on hand, or the lack of any of those. They are external expressions of symptoms. But when I am depressed, it is very hard to accept that I cannot just get off my rear and do something about it so it is easy to feel that everyone else has "real problems" and that I am just whining.

Rebound, I think we have all felt that way. Sometimes I feel like I have experienced more hell than everyone here and others I feel like I haven't been through anything at all compared to others. And the truth lies in between. Regardless of how you feel in relation to others about your problems, they are yours, and they are real. No need to feel like you are whining. We all "whine" from time to time. Take care.

Ryan

[phoenix30]

And it's a nice feeling when you realise that, ccl. Makes you realise you really have found a good place to be.

[SeptemberMorn]

Cotton, I understand what you're saying. Sometimes, when I read posts, it seems that people answer in a way that says "Oh, yeah!? You should feel what I feel!" Or, "That's nothing! You haven't gone through what I've gone through!" I've even caught myself answering like that. What I've realized is that those people are really needy; needier, maybe than the others, so they make light of someone else's pain. Without knowing it, they are trying to take that attention for themselves.

The ones that are afraid of stating their pain or their needs are the one's that have been made to think they don't matter or their problems are insignificant; maybe the people that have been taught to give and give until there is nothing left to give.

Truth is, we ALL matter! ALL of OUR needs matter! We ALL deserve to be treated with respect, consideration and empathy.

Another truth is, we're all imperfect humans. Some of us can be respectful, considerate and empathetic SOMETIMES, but not all the time.

Ok... getting off my soap box now.

[wisewoman]

AMEN

[neri]

thank you september... for posting that.... i will try to believe this.... i often want to post something but then i don't because of being afraid like u said...

[gracetoo71]

we are all in the same turbulent ocean, we just have different boats in which to try and keep ourselves afloat.

[Rapunzel]

That's really a good observation, CCL. It isn't about comparing. But so many of us hear of what others struggle with and feel bad for thinking that we have anything to complain about. It's not helpful to think that way, but I don't even know how many times I have told my T that I don't deserve help because there are so many more people who have worse problems than I do. Maybe that's depression talking.

[SpazKatt]

I was concerned this would be a negative post, however it's been quite positive! thanks all! *hugs*