Why am I so inhibited?..anyone else this way?

Hi

I seem to have become more and more inhibited as the years have gone by. I don't know if this has anything to do with my OCD but I suspect it might. As an example, our neighbor has a horse and thier fenceline runs along the service road where I take my morning walks. A few times the horse has come up to the fence like it wanted to make friends with me and I kind of thought about going over and petting it or giving it a treat.

Now a "normal" person (which I USED to be) would probably just go over and pet the darn thing and that would be the end of it. No big deal, right?. Well, with me, I suddenly get all these paranoid and fearful thoughts going through my mind like "what if I get arested for trespassing?" or "what if the horse got sick and someone blamed me?" or "what if a nosey neighbor called the cops on me and said there was a suspicous person prowling around?" or what if...the thoughts of EVERYTHING that *could* happen just overwhelm me to the point where I just get too afraid to go over and pet it and then I start to get really agitated because I think a person should be able to pet a horse for crying out loud!!.

I told my room mate about this and he sugested that I knock on the owner's door and ask them if it would be ok if I petted thier horse. I told him that it's seemed kind of silly to go over there and knock on thier door just for that and it might make them suspicious that I was going to all that trouble and making such a big deal out of just petting a horse. I mean, I'm 42 years old so just try to imagine a grown man knocking on your door and saying something like "um, hi..you don't know me but I came over to aks if I could pet your horse". Silly to say the least.

Anyway, my inhibitions go far beyond my simple horse example. In fact, I am inhibited from drinking because I fear becoming an alcoholic and I rarely have sex because it is supposed to be "evil" and "sinful". I obscess over my health and the health of my animals constantly and I am afraid to lgo out in my own yard (especially after dark) because my neighbor's dogs will start barking and then he might call the police (thinking I'm a prowler) and then I have to get the third degree from the cop, etc.

Does this sound like OCD or some other condition?. Does any of this even sound remotely familiar?. I hope I'm not alone but at the same time, I would'nt wish this on anyone. I'm sure I'm being robbed of a lot of things I ciould be doing in life because of my fears, inhibitions and paranoia.

- Regards

I'm very inhibited at times myself but not to the extreme that you are. I would suggest you seek therapy for yours. Mine is relinquished with a few drinks. Sorry, don't even know what I'm typing tonight. I hope I haven't offended. I'm going to bed now.

No you hav'nt offended me at all but you did make me wish I could loosen up a bit myself with a few drinks!. I used to throw back a six pack of beer a few times each week, smoke a big cigar, watch a movie and then hit the sack. I'd wake up the next morning feeling like a million bucks. However, I was pretty young then and when I got older and depression/OCD hit me, I began drinking in earnest and became an alcholoic for a year and a half.

I'd throw back over a case of beer a day and chain smoke until I got good and sick just to drown my emotional pain. I tried to stop drinking many times and with the help of God (a LOT of praying!) I eventually quit for good and have been clean ever since. I went through the dilerium tremens/shakes/anxiety while I was quitting and my life was a nighmare. Still, I wish I could be "normal" like all those guys in the TV commercials who drink beer with thier buds and sit around watching football and eating BBQ.

grey.......have you talked to a therapist about your fears? if you can do that, i think it would help you. keep us updated, okay? i'm wishing you the best.......pat

Oh God, I don't even recall typing about drinking. I haven't had a drink in eons. Not to mention that it's a no no with my meds. I was so tired last night, I should've just gone to bed. I obviously didn't know what I was doing. Please forgive my stupidity.

Congrats on giving up your drinking. If I had really comprehended your first post and if I knew what you said in your reply, I certainly wouldn't have said what I did. (slithers in the corner and hides head in shame). Anyway, I do think that therapy might help you. As far as OCD, I can't answer your question about that, I'm not knowledgable in that area. Sometimes I think I have it myself but it's not to the degree that I hear of what others do, so for me it is very much questionable. Again, please accept my apology. BTW, I don't think there is anything wrong with petting the horse. BTW, are you shy?

Ya know, what's the worse that could happen? Go up and ask if you can pet the horse, they may think you're a little odd, but explain that maybe you used to live near people who didn't like people to interact with their animals or whatever. Make up a little something if you have to. Try to catch them when they're out with the horse maybe too, then it wouldn't be very alkward you know?

It does kind of sound like OCD, maybe it isn't but it really sounds like it would help you out to talk to a professional about it. There are medications and therapys that can help you out a lot!

Try going up to the horse as close as you can stand it, try petting it and doing everything you can to over time make you more comfortable with the situation. It's what the doc you'd see will probably have you do, get a head start. ^_~

I can tell ya though, I don't think anyone would find petting a horse a malicious act that warrants legal action at all.

Good luck! Do keep us posted, and I hope everything can turn out for you. ^_^

GreyGoose, the bit of obsessing you do over worrying about petting the horse or talking to the owner don't sound all that abnormal. Your 42 years old. (I'm 62 so don't be offended, young man.) When you listen to the news for 40 or so years, it's enough to make you think twice about how many things could go wrong. I was also wondering if you might have some sociophobia ( want zero confrontations, friendly or otherwise).

You sound a lot more normal than you might think you are.