Should I be upset?

Hi

So I get a card from my sister today and I'm thinking "oh great, an easter card!". Then, I open it up and discover that it is a VERY late Christmas card instead and then (here's the clencher) I get about 3/4 of the way through it and she is telling me all about how they have been very sick with a cold lately and she "just thought she would write me".

Ok, I love my sister and it was nice of her to think of me but you just DON'T send cards or bake cookies for someone when your temp is 105 F and your sitting there sick with a cold. Not only can it spread this way but it really is'nt very considerate. Now, instead of be greatful for the card, I find myself being angry about her lack of good judgement.

"Umm...yeah, I have this really nasty flesh-eating virus and sores all over my body and I was just sitting here thinking I would write you a letter"

Am I wrong for feeling this way?...overreacting??

To be honest, I'm not sure how I would feel with it being a Christmas card. I'm assuming you didn't get one from her at Christmas time. I don't think I would've thought about the germ factor at all, stupidity on my part? over-reaction on yours? I don't know. To me it just seems weird that you don't get a Christmas card from her at Christmas but that's what she send you now. Sorry, I know I wasn't any help at all.

Yes, it is kind of wierd. She said she was a "procrastinator" which I guess means that she had been meaning to send if for some time but never got around to it. she finally discovered it in her purse and decided to get in in the mail to me. The whole thing seems kind of strange to me...hmmm...

I think you may be overreacting to it. I don't think viruses such as those that cause colds can live for very long outside of the body, so I don't think they could be transmitted by the letter. I'm not sure about that though.

I don't see why she chose to send a Christmas card near Easter... but I guess it's the thought that counts...

By the time the card got to you, the germs were dead. They can't live very long when they're not in a damp, dark place.

IMO, you can choose to be upset, or you can choose to be glad that it was YOU she thought of when she was feeling really yucky. If it was me, I'd choose the later.

SepterberMorn makes an excellent point both about the germs and about the choices. I might be a little upset that it was a Christmas card and was so late. But then again I just recently recieved a Christmas present from my cousins and I was happy to hear from them. Just my 2 cents. Please don't take it the wrong way.

ryan

At least you got something ya know? I'm sure it wasn't that she wasn't thinking about you, she's your sister after all. Just she was probably not being organized is all. I don't think she had a malicious intent with it.

While, it was inappropriate and a different card would have been better, like just a 'how are you doing one' and an apology for forgetting the xmas one, she is sick so give her a little slack. ^_^

Hope you can sort it out without an argument. ^^

Maybe she was too sick to go out and get an Easter card and had extra Christmas cards left over? She was thinking of you and that's all she had available to let you know?

If that is the case, she could have said so in the card, but it is a possibility. (I've done it before, that's the ONLY reason I say anything ) Just a WAY out there thought.

Well, I've read all these and I appreciate all points of view. I'm objective like that. I see that the vast majority of you seemed to focus more on the fact that a Christmas card was sent out of season rather than the fact that the card was sent by someone who had a cold (in this case, my sister) and that's ok too.

Of course, I do have sympathy for my very dear sister (we are very close) and I certainly do hope she gets well soon but I don't think I need to show my gratitude to her by getting sick myself. I can still love her without accepting her card and possibly exposing myself to her cold.

I know that sounds very callous and mean but that's just one of my pet peeves. There are those people out there who feel sorry for people with colds and flues and will hug and kiss them and try to make them feel better by doting over them. Then, there are those people (like myself) who become very defensive when people who are sick come anywhere near me. I just think a lot of people out there don't bother to take the necessary precautions to prevent spreading thier colds by not washing thier hands, touching everything in sight, visiting people or going to work while still sick and infecting everyone else.

I guess my pet peeve started when a friend of ours came over to visit about 10 years ago and while he was sitting there on our sofa hacking his guts out, he happened to mention that he had been sicker than a dog with the flu for weeks and had had a temperature of 105.2. He kept blowing his nose, hacking up stuff and spitting it into the toilet. He got us BOTH so sick that they almost had to take me to the hospital and pack me in ice. I've never been so sick in my life and it lasted forever. The next time he showed up he was still sick and I was so mad at his inconsideration and unthoughtfulness that I ran him off and told him not to come back until he was completely well again.

Then there was the kid at Wal-Mart one time who was running through the isle hacking and coughing all over everythinmg in sight and I got sick from that.

Anyway, I guess I'm ranting now but this is just something I feel very strongly about. Just like some people feel strongly about abused kids or animals or religion, this is something I feel strongly about.

Anyway, thank's for all the replies and good night

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there are those people (like myself) who become very defensive when people who are sick come anywhere near me. I just think a lot of people out there don't bother to take the necessary precautions to prevent spreading thier colds by not washing thier hands, touching everything in sight, visiting people or going to work while still sick and infecting everyone else.

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Yes, I'm like that as well. I haven't been ill at all yet all winter and I really hope it stays that way. It's so annoying when people go snorting and sneezing everywhere. I mean i know it's not their fault, but all those germs everywhere - ugh! lol

sounds like she has some of her own stuff going on...
and sounds like she still wanted to let you know you are not forgotten... despite whatever the heck is going on with her, wether it be a cold or procrastination, etc....

um also, i really dont think you are gonna get sick from a card...
germs dont really live very long on inadimate objects.(what is it like 24 hrs or something?)
maybe you just gotta look at it from her perspective... and try to imagine what she was thinking without dismissing your importance to her.

Germs can and do "live" for awhile on inanimate object although they obviously can't live as long outside the human body. I know this only because I have eaten batches of Christmas cookies that were sent to me by various people who later told me they had been sick and guess what?...I got sick too!. This has also happened with non-food items I came into contact with. Even the government has a guide out that instructs people to wash thier hands after touching doorknobs, toilet seats and other such things.

Please try to understand that from my point of view, I simply do not want to get sick of I can help it. I love my sister but when it comes to getting sick I feel like I have enough problems in my life already without taking any unnecessary chances - regardless of how small the odds. I know (and expect) that some of you will think I'm being mean for taking this stance but from a simple "survivalist" point of view, I really do try to protect myself from getting sick and especially since that friend of ours almost cost me my life.

- Regards

EDITED FOR NUMEROUS TYPOS BY A NON-PERFECT PERSON.

"Let there be PEACE on Earth and let it begin with ME." --St. Francis of Assisi?

"Methinks you make much ado about nothing." -- Shakespeare

hello....i tried to send you a private message but it didn't go through........i've been being treated for ocd for the last ten years...quite successfully........alot of what you are dealing with have been issues for me in the past......if you ever want to ask me anything please feel free.......peace julia