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#1
Mar 07, 2005, 12:49 PM
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My sister is coming to visit and help me clean. She also is sending me money to help me with rent. I am so blessed with family and friends. So why am I so scared? All jumpy inside. I want to hide.
I miss me. |
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#2
Mar 07, 2005, 12:55 PM
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TryingBelieve, safe *hugs* if you want them.
Maybe it is hard to have someone...no matter how dear...come into your personal space. It is hard to ask and accept help. I am wishing you the best. I hope when she arrives it will be better. Please take care. place
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Hello 
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#3
Mar 07, 2005, 12:57 PM
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Sweetie is it fear or excitement, could be a bit of both, relax and enjoy her, then send her here my house needs cleaned up too
Angie
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 A good day is when the crap hits the fan and I have time to duck. |
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#4
Mar 07, 2005, 01:03 PM
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Take some deep breaths and relax. Just remember that anything new is difficult at first.
You lucky girl! Wish I had someone to help me with housework.  I'd feel just like you, but I'd be so happy after the work was done! Focus on that and maybe it will help to make you feel better. 
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Psalm 119:105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. |
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#5
Mar 07, 2005, 01:19 PM
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Thanks guys. I think I know what part of it is. I have been hiding for so long. Faking it. Not letting my family or my friends, or even my therapists and therapy group (back when I could afford them) see just how yucky I feel. And now I can't hide. It is going to be right there for her to see. My messy and filthy and ugly apartment a mirror of my messy and filthy and ugly life. So now she'll know -- but then she must already know, or she wouldn't be coming.
Oh God, I really miss me. |
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#6
Mar 07, 2005, 01:22 PM
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Can't you tidy up a little, so it doesn't look so bad? I end up doing things like throwing things into cupboards and drawers so it looks superficially tidy, and wiping things over with a cloth to get rid of surface dust... so it doesnt look too bad, and it didnt take much effort to get it that way...
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That's why it's such a serious thing to ask a Centaur to stay for the weekend. A very serious thing indeed. - The Silver Chair |
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#7
Mar 07, 2005, 01:28 PM
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It is hard to let somebody into your feelings. But you are probably right when you say she already understands. It must, in a way, feel maybe some relief to know that someone else knows how you feel.
You will find you again. It may not seem that way now but you have taken a big step on the journey to get back to you. Take care please. place
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Hello
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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