How to survive a psychiatric ward

I've had excellent inpatient care in Texas, so try not to generalize. What is unfortunate is that until you have to be inpatient, you really don't know anything about the particular facility you will be in. In retrospect, I would become familiar with the facilities available to me under my insurance plan. I know the hospital I have been in many times is quite willing to talk to you ahead of time about their program and even will show people around their psychiatric floor. That's an excellent sign that they take pride and care in their work and have "nothing to hide".

I'm glad to hear that you're in a good place right now. I hope this stays with you for a very long time.

I would add just one more suggestion:

Go in knowing that once you're in, everything you say will sound batshit insane. Your entire context has changed, and so you have to realize that you can't creatively express your thoughts as you normally do. I would recommend sticking to just "yes" or "no" answers as much as possible during the first few days, at least. Pontificating can get you in to trouble. But think about it-- even the most rational thoughts in your head can be misconstrued when you're on the ward.

Love this post, BTW!

Rule # 16- Don't pet the geese- Although this may not apply to most of you, especially those of you stuck in the city, but don't pet the geese. I have been too many places that had geese and many patients who find it necessary to try and pet the geese. Geese who live and breed on psychiatric ward territory know this. And they have special powers that allow them to beat the crap out of any ill prepared person that nears them. I think it goes with people being manic. It's how I know someone is manic. They think they can pet geese. Even when they hiss at them. Even when someone says "Joe I wouldn't do that". But no Joe has a bit of irrational thinking, related to grandiose. But I am here to tell you if you are Manic, that goose does NOT want you to pet it. Goose Floggings 101 is a course in psychiatric nursing. I tell the truth.

I haven't been in a psychiatric ward in years, but I once wrote this in a journal and everytime I go back to read it, it makes me laugh. I hope that it finds you the same way.

Rule #1- Sign yourself in. If the man in the white coat threatens a court case you have 3/100 chance of winning. In these, even your own defender takes the other side. Unless of course you're sane. But that's nobody...

Rule # 2- Know about psychiatric illnesses- One minute you and your friend are doing crosswords together, talking about how great it would be to piss without permission and the next she starts talking in a satanic voice and inscribing her skin with a staple from the couch. Don't be alarmed, retrieve staff. DO NOT TOUCH OR TALK TO ANYONE WITH A SHARP OR LARGE BLUNT OBJECT NEAR THEM. Even if you "know them".

Rule # 3- Don't be scared. Seriously, don't show fear, they're like a swarm of bees. kidding. The likelihood of the above person hurting you, is slim to none. The likelihood of getting hurt by another patient at all is slim to none. Most dangerous or violent psychiatric patients are housed in state psych wards, on special units. You are more likely to be harmed by staff. Which goes to rule # 4.

Rule #4- Avoid getting restrained- Pick a hospital who doesn't participate in 4 point restraints. (or 5 or 6 point), the practice of using restraints has dwindled a lot. The likelihood that this would happen is small. However along with physical damage (broken bones, etc) It can also cause psychological trauma. The medications they administer are known to cause permanent damage in some people.

Rule # 5- It may taste decent, but that's not chicken. - Don't assume because they're a hospital they'll give you healthy food. Psychiatric facilities, especially could care less. Despite evidence that a healthy, balanced diets helps improve mood. You could insist on a healthy diet, ask your family to bring you in meals in advance or pick and choose out of what's there.

Rule # 6- Watch yo' back- Be smart, if your roommate starts talking to herself, saying things like "NO I won't kill my roommate, she's nice to me, go away!" You might not want to take a sleeping pill that knocks you out. You should probably inform staff. This is not tattling. She is suffering from effects of a mental illness and they may not even be aware of the risk she may be to others.

Rule #7- Look for support- While you're in there why not grab a few people and make supports out of them? In or out of the hospital? I've met some of the most well meaning, supportive friends in a hospital. Even if we don't talk everyday, I know that they are there.

Rule # 8- You're not leaving in three days- Upon admission you may be told you will be going in for a "a few days". Only to find out you are freed 2 weeks later, pasty and atrophied. "We'll see about Monday" will turn into Wednesday and Friday and next Monday. When you stop asking, they'll tell you. They all sit around a table and discuss things like "Surely when a patient wants to get out this bad, it means they're still ill. It's absolutely amazing in here and these raccoon nuggets are the best". If you push enough, asking him in the hallway, through the nurses station door and while he's eating lunch, causing a psychiatrist to pull out his own hair, you may win. Or you may have to result to rule # 1.

Rule # 9- Don't get too up close and personal with the furniture- I have seen too many people leak their bladders on them. And by leak I mean water fall. So don't fall asleep there and let your tongue fall out of your mouth.

Rule # 10- Groups repeat. Despite Rule #8, they think it's funny or amusing to repeat groups every 3 days to make you suffer. In cause of this, do crafts. Even the worst psych wards have craft supplies. Even if it's just non toxic glue and butchered magazines. Be creative! ( no there's no scissors. Ripping paper is a unique skill I have in light of this).

Rule # 11- Don't Run away- Having a bright yellow tag on your wrist marking you an "elopement risk" makes everyone cautious of you, everywhere. Don't be surprised if while taking a poo a staff member of the opposite gender comes to swing open the door to make sure you haven't burrowed down the drain in your shower.

Rule # 12- Don't look your psychiatrists resident in the eye- He's insecure and you could challenge him, but he has control of your every function right now. From what medications you take, to whether you get to eat with a fork at dinner. Act like he's the boss and if you think he screwed up, tell the actual boss.

Rule # 13- Stand up for your rights- If a woman with thick eyeliner and furrowed brows tells you to she's going to call the doctor at midnight to have you committed, because you're asking for some tissues and waking everyone up. Tell her nicely and pleasantly you happen to be an educated human being, that knows no doctor in his right mind would commit someone for that and she should stop trying to manipulate you.

Rule # 14- Fight = Flight. If you live in a city and are entering an inner city psych ward, you're bound to come across at least 15 fights in your "3 day stay". Otherwise it's not likely. There's higher crimes in inner cities, so there will be higher prevalence of fights, people trying to pass you meth, and the occasional man running naked down the hallway covered in Vaseline, so he slips out of the guards grip. Don't break up a fight in a psych ward even in they're women who weigh 100 lbs and are 4 foot 8. They're eating raccoon, they haven't had cigarettes, and the meth is fake.

Rule # 15- What to bring- Nothing you thought you could. No strings, jewelery, conditioner, perfume, make up, sharp objects, ipods, razors, stuffed animals, your own pillows, your new xacto knife kit, any mirrors, cell phones, credit cards, iguanas, (keeps listing things for 6 hours) Some psychiatric wards only allow you to wear scrubs. Wait no. "Scrubs". Paper blue things that make every other part of you "breezy". "Here's some paper clothes, you're things are in a locked safe, now lets find out why you want to kill yourself." Some places let you have everything, even cell phones. And then one day some one eats deodorant, trying to get drunk and it's all over... back to paper scrubs... some people try to sneak stuff in. DON'T DO THIS. When you get caught, you ruin it for every goodly, honest person out there!

Rule # 16- Don't pet the geese- Although this may not apply to most of you, especially those of you stuck in the city, but don't pet the geese. I have been too many places that had geese and many patients who find it necessary to try and pet the geese. Geese who live and breed on psychiatric ward territory know this. And they have special powers that allow them to beat the crap out of any ill prepared person that nears them. I think it goes with people being manic. It's how I know someone is manic. They think they can pet geese. Even when they hiss at them. Even when someone says "Joe I wouldn't do that". But no Joe has a bit of irrational thinking, related to grandiose. But I am here to tell you if you are Manic, that goose does NOT want you to pet it. Goose Floggings 101 is a course in psychiatric nursing. I tell the truth.

Does anyone have any to add?

- If running away don't wear nice clothes as they will be torn when you're rugby tackled to the ground.

This thread is great Old but timeless!

Here's my experience:

- Under the mental health act in Ireland, if made involuntary, you have a 30 day stay before your tribunal (case against your detention). In your case your doctor will detain you and discharge you on the 30th day, every time. Therefore he knows he has no valid reason to detain you but does it anyway

- If they're trying to make you leave your comfortable single room and go back to the horrible 6 bed ward, don't! There's actually nothing they can do and they'll end up moving someone else!

- Hide your cigarettes in your bra (men, wear a bra) and enjoy hanging out the little crack in the window at 3am puffing away to your hearts content.

- Don't ask for anything during handover, not going to happen and you'll be hated for it.

- Don't eat the dessert! God knows what it is but that is not a sponge!

- If you're stuck in a 6 (or more) bed ward always try your best to get the bed by the window, always much more room, and smoking time

- If running away don't wear nice clothes as they will be torn when you're rugby tackled to the ground.

- On first arrival, find the weak spot in the magnetic lock on the door. Sorry that's terrible advice, but I totally did it and it got me a few day trips out of the hospital

- When lady in the bed opposite you is playing her foreign language soap opera shows on her laptop at full volume from 6am to 12am be sure to retaliate by playing some Lamb of God or Slipknot at full volume, they love it!

- When they say (and have it scheduled) there's a walk to the garden for everyone at 11am, they're lying. Always lying.

- If you're in a hospital where they let you smoke (these places are almost non existent in my country thanks to stupid new laws) then bring as many cigarettes as you can cary, for they are precious, so precious.

- No matter how much you struggle, protest, scream and shout, you're getting that shot and there's nothing you can do.

Most of this is terrible advice Just my experience and how I learned my way around the system.

Christ you just. Made American hospitalization sound like a country club!!! We are only two to a room, we DO get to go outdoors. But no personal items unless you have large breasts, big balls and a staff who doesn't search you very well (I sneak my cell in regularly). I would LOVE to have my laptop but not at the cost of the hell you're describing. Note to self- don't lose your **** in Ireland.

Which really really sucks bc I really wanted to go live in Ireland someday. :-(