[DelusionsDaily]

I might need to be IP. My anxiety has been SOOOO SOOOOOO SOOOOOOOO off the charts. My mind has gone to the dark side. It races uncontrollably. It feels VERY loud in my head. I can NOT shut it off. Sometimes I just wanna be gone. Ugh! The ideas are free-flowing in my head. See GP tomorrow. See T on the 27th. I can't do anything until this settles down. No concentration, no clear thought process, super restless and agitated. I don't know what I am going to do.

[kecanoe]

I hate that feeling. Hugs

[DelusionsDaily]

Originally Posted by kecanoe

I hate that feeling. Hugs

Me too! Thanks.

[DelusionsDaily]

Well, T and I are talking about hospital(inpatient and or partial). Waiting to hear back from her what she thinks. Otherwise we'll probably continue the conversation Tuesday when I see her.

[DelusionsDaily]

No hospital right now atleast. Though not sure that will hold true for very long. We shall see.

[kecanoe]

How are you today?

[DelusionsDaily]

I'm struggling horribly. My anxiety is beyond awful. T knows everything...struggling with where my head is taking me.

[Jolisse]

Originally Posted by DelusionsDaily

I'm struggling horribly. My anxiety is beyond awful. T knows everything...struggling with where my head is taking me.

I'm going through the same, everything I try just doesn't work for me.

[Kiya]

Maybe it’s something in the air... or world tensions. I’m also still struggling. Being pulled in opposite directions; depression, anxiety. Spontaneous outings, grumpy on the couch.
Not much seems to help. I think we will all have to take good care of ourselves at this time. Things may get worse before getting better.

[DelusionsDaily]

Yeah. I'm in a state of mind I haven't been in for some time. I am soooo tired of trying to care for myself. It seems like it is always a battle and D^*$ I hate it. Guess I don't have much choice(to care for myself) but I'm soooo tired.

[franz kafka]

I hope things get better soon! It sounds like you are suffering a lot right now.

[DelusionsDaily]

Thanks. I've been trying to find new ways to handle this suffering. We'll see if anything sticks. The anxiety has been torturous but I think I am also suffering some level of depression but the anxiety is more severe. Anyway, we'll see.

[DelusionsDaily]

I have to email T. I came clean to a friend tonight and promised to email T. Don't know what I am going to say but I promised a friend I would. I can't lie to her. So, we'll see. I also have to call this friend tomorrow in the AM. UGH!

[kecanoe]

Sounds like a good friend who is concerned. I have one friend who I trust to tell me if I ever need to go IP. It's hard to be honest, but sometimes I need an outside opinion.

[DelusionsDaily]

Yeah. She is a wonderful friend. I know she is very concerned. She knows more than anybody else what is going on. I did call her earlier today. I do have to get out of the house to walk for a bit before my commitments this afternoon/evening. I also emailed T telling her I was struggling horribly and wondered if the Zoloft I have been taking for about 2 weeks is making me worse instead of better. I might not hear back from T until tonight or tomorrow. I fel bad that I told this friend everything. At the same time if I hadn’t she couldn’t have helped me stay safe last night and even into today. Not that everything is better. In fact I hate that she is almost a babysitter via phone right now. If I think about it too much I feel worse than last night...so I try not to. Anyway, I am grateful she is there but guilty at the same time.