Tuffy's elderly behavior: Advice please?

Our Tuffy is the oldest in our four-cat household. She is estimated to be at least 13, possibly older. We don't know for sure, since my husband has had her for only the past eight years, and I joined the family four years ago. Tuffy had a stroke last year which took most of her eyesight and part of her hearing, but she regained her mobility. She is on medication for her thyroid and blood pressure. The last vet exam showed that her kidneys have begun to fail, and we are now supplementing her food with the powder the vet gave us.

Recently we have noticed that Tuffy's behavior has begun to change. We have placed an additional litter box next to our bed, because Tuffy has made it clear she's going to use that spot whether we have a box there or not. During the day she prefers to stay curled up in a dark corner in our home office, under the computer desk. I have provided her with a cushion for that corner.

She has always been a good alarm clock and has let us know when it was time to wake up and feed her and her siblings, or when the litter boxes need cleaning. But now her meowing goes on for hours, even when it is not feeding time and the litter is fresh. I try to be patient with her. I know the day will come when I will *wish* I could hear her meow just one more time. However, when I hear a constant meow-meow-meow-meow, can't figure out what she wants, and it is loud because she can barely hear herself, I can get frustrated.

She has always been affectionate, but now she is clingy. My husband and I are trying to give her all the love and affection we can.

And the most disturbing to me--for the past two days, she has refused to come to the kitchen for her meals. She insists on eating in the office. Her appetite is good, at least. She does finish her food.

Should red flags be popping up in our minds? Is her time nearing?

She sounds like a true friend to you. And I understand why you're having difficulties with the issues. But from the sounds of this story, I'd say that its just about time. Shes getting rather close from what I'm reading. (This is only a judgement call from what I'm reading, though. You do know your kitty better than I do.)

I had a cat who was 21 years old. And I watched her go downhill at the last moment. Looking back on it, I feel awful for not making the call. So in the future, I will always seriously consider the option... However, Tuffy shows a lot of signs as well. Her age, for one. She is getting rather up there. And if she has already faced a stroke and is looking at the beginning stages of kidney failure, supplements and medicine will only go so far. Also, the fact that she clings... Often times, I've noticed this is a common behavior right before they face hard times. Her vocalizing so much can also be another key... Honestly, it might be out of pain or discomfort. Or even just the fact that she really, really needs you. Which ties into the previous point.

At this point in her life, I would spend as much time with her as you can. Make sure she is very comfortable. (It sounds like you're doing a great job with that). But also keep in mind that these little guys do not last as long as we'd love them to. Her lack of mobility and recent lethargy is another reason I'd brace myself. Just keep an eye on her... Perhaps get her more check ups.

I'm sorry if this post seemed a bit dark or daunting. But... I really wish I'd have looked a bit deeper when my girl was nearing her end. Either way, I'm sure you'll do whats best. Wishing you all the luck, and Tuffy too.

Thank you. The sweet little kitty in my avatar, that's Tuffy. Here is the bigger picture I took it from:
This photo was taken about three years ago. We had been out, and came home to that sight greeting us, and we thought it was cute and took the picture. Tuffy no longer climbs up on the furniture. In fact, her sister Tiger in the seat, age 11, can't get up there by herself anymore either. She loves to sit next to us on the sofa, but we have to lift her up. Much of Tiger's mobility problems could be due to her weight, which is also under a veterinary watch. She eats the same food on the same schedule as the other cats, but she has always been obese and the other cats are not.

Sigh. I remember how Tuffy used to hop up onto the counter top when one of us was in the kitchen, and meow for treats. She doesn't do that anymore. That is, she may still want treats, but can't hop onto the counter top to ask. This could explain part of the incessant meowing. I tried it today.

"Meow. Meow. Meow."
"Do you want treats, Tuffy?
"Meow. Meow. Meow."
"I'm getting them."

I could tell she knew I was getting the treats, since her meowing got quieter. But she didn't come to me, as she used to do to receive her treats. I had to bring them to her. She did eat them, and the meowing stopped.

I've been researching care of elderly cats online. One thing that has been suggested, as we are already doing, is the placement of extra litter boxes around the house. Keep the original ones where they are, but put down extras too. This, we had to do, since Tuffy is going to use the area next to our bed whether we have a box there or not. This could be a matter of not being able to make it to the boxes fast enough, or it could be their getting old and senile and forgetting where the boxes are.

Right now Tuffy is asleep in "her spot," as we started calling it, that dark corner under the computer desk where I put the cushion. If she isn't there, then for the most part she's either in my husband's arms or mine.

Hah. She sounds like a real character. She looks like one, too. Sweet kitties. Great photo.

But yes, incontinence is a problem a lot of eldery animals face. Keeping the extra boxes around could very well save you a lot of cleaning up. Haha. But, also, a good tip I have too... Is if you can - buy the low-rider litter boxes. Ones that fall to the ground as much as possible with not such a big edge. I found that with some of my elderly cats, as their joints aged the reason they weren't going was simply because they could not muster the climb over the edge. So a ramp or lower litter box can do wonders.

Tuffy continues to have a good appetite but still doesn't come to the kitchen for meals or treats. I have read about Feline Cognitive Dysfunction in older cats, and I am wondering if the poor little thing has forgotten where the kitchen is.

FCD can also explain the incessant meowing. According to the article in the link, sometimes they forget they've just been fed. Today and yesterday, Tuffy asked for her breakfast a full two hours earlier than the usual time. This morning I gave her kitty treats instead of her full meal, to tide her over, and I'll stick to the regular feeding schedule as much as possible for the sake of all of the cats. What's funny is that last night, our Alex, a young cat in perfect health, insisted that he also have his supper brought to him instead of coming to the kitchen. He wanted special treatment too!

I indulged him, to show him that I love him just as much as I love Tuffy, but later I had an idea. If Tuffy has simply forgotten where the kitchen is, I'll bring her to her food instead of bringing her food to her.

Hi there LBF.

I posted THIS:
http://forums.psychcentral.com/showt...ight=Rainbowzz

A long time ago before I changed my username from Rainbowzz to MandiePoo due to some unfortunate cyberstalking.

I thought while it was difficult to read and even think about, it was excellent for giving ideas on how to make that difficult decision, or if you choose not to go for the difficult option and wait it out a little longer - how to make your cat as happy as possible

While your kitty is older, and that means time is winding down, you may end up surprised! Never give up hope until it comes to a point where you know in your heart that going for that dreaded visit is the best thing.And it sounds like you are an excellent mommie - you will I am SURE know when she is ready to go and most times they will tell you in there own way. I don't necessarily think that is what she is telling you here(hey, its just my unprofessional opinion though, keep that in mind ). I think she is more likely saying "okay lovebirds-mommie, here is the deal! I am old now, and I like special treatment, and please dont be mad if i forget things because I am a little senile

The proof is in that your other cat wanted the same treatment. It is clearly making them feel special, and I see nothing wrong with it. I second the low litterboxes and placing them in more places. Sounds like she likes her quiet corner of the office! And what a perfect spot for the elderly. Do encourage her to get SOME exercise though. Don't PUSH it if she really doesn't want to, but I dont feel like total sedentary behavior is healthy as well. Even a little jaunt through to the kitchen with your help, like you mentioned, to go to her food, will be enough to move her body and get her in a new environment as well

More later, as I have run out of time. Good luck and kiss the kitties for me.

Excuse me but I think Tiger must be a sibling of my Calvin Klein? (The vet techs at the vet's office I got him from named the entire "stray" family they fostered after famous designers, I could have had Ralph but. . . :-)



Both of my cats are only 10 and my previous cat lived to be 16-18 but I'm dreading their start down. I didn't socialize them all that well so I can't get them in a carrier to take to the vets anymore and the future problem possibilities weigh on me. But it does sound like it could be time for Tuffy, her interest in and quality of life doesn't sound too good anymore?

Thanks for the quality of life scale, Mandie.

Perna, Calvin and Tiger do look a lot alike, don't they?

Tuffy's time is short, I'm sure, but I don't think it's quite imminent. Today she got lost looking for her "spot." She went to the wrong wall of the home office, wondered what the heck my sewing machine was doing there, attempted to climb over it to get to her cushion (which of course was on the opposite side of the room) and almost got trapped. She meowed for help, and I guided her to her cushion. Where she has been ever since, sleeping peacefully. Every now and then I look in on her to see that she *is* only sleeping.... but she is.

Sometimes she sits in the center of the room, looking confused, and meows. It's like she is asking "Where am I?" I can't quite tell whether it's because she can't see, or because she can't remember. Either way, she has those periods of disorientation.

As long as she is not in critical condition, I think my husband wants to let her hang on. Meaning, not take her to the vet to be put down, but let her go naturally when her time comes. I don't want to see her suffer if she gets really bad, but I know she still has some love left to give.

If it were me, I wouldn't give up just yet! Just because she requires assistance doesn't mean she is ready to go! Loads of humans have nursing care for many many years and do just fine

Can you leave some things that smell like you placed strategically around the house? If she can't see or hear, she CAN still smell. This might if nothing else comfort her if she does get lost on the way.

Also remember pain can be managed and usually quite cheaply. Meds for that are usually not too expensive. Some other conditions can also be managed but may run very expensive, and though we dont like to think it, that does have to be considered. It may be a good idea to talk with your husband now about what signs you will consider to be her being ready to go, so you dont have to make that decision in the heat of the moment(though you can off course change your mind later on if you decide to wait instead of going to the vet and all)

just trying to be helpful!

And you are.

I think I will have that discussion with hubby.

At this stage, Tuffy doesn't appear to be in any physical pain. She just gets lost in her own house, and I'm not sure whether that's blindness, deafness, dementia, or a combination.

I certainly don't mind taking care of Tuffy. I was a nursing assistant and took care of many humans in her condition. I loved that job and would do it still if it weren't for my physical limitations and inability to lift. What I wonder is, when her time comes, will hubby want the vet to assist her in her passing, or let nature take its course? I'll leave the decision to him, since he had her for years before I came along.

Update:

It has now come to where Tuffy spends most of her time in her "spot," that dark corner under the computer desk. She will not leave the home office to eat. Food must be brought to her. Sometimes it must even be placed right next to her head, in her "spot." But she eats it. We have placed a water dish and a litter box near her "spot." She drinks her water, and she uses her litter box. Today the vet told us, as long as she is still eating, drinking and relieving herself, her time is not yet. Exact quote, "Let her be."

Which brought to my mind this video from Sesame Street:

Flyinglovebirds, it sounds like you are doing everything you can for Tuffy. I had a cat who lived to be over 18. He did a lot of the things you describe that Tuffy is doing during the last couple of years of his life. He also had periods when he would hole up somewhere in the house and I'd think he was nearing the end. I'd carry food and water to him like you are with Tuffy. Then one day he's rejoin the family. I agree with your vet. As long is eating and drinking and what goes in comes out again let things run their course.

Tuffy is lucky to have you and your husband for human parents.

I too agree that if they are eating and drinking they still want to be with us. Staying in her spot may just be her way of giving into the realization that she can no longer successfully navigate the house. My 20+ year old cat Sable did that. Spent a long time living happily in the second bathroom/laundry room. It was warm, small and easy to navigate. She had also had a stroke that took away her vision and ability to get up on things.
It sounds like you are doing a wonderful job of taking care of her and she is lucky to have you.

I very much agree!

The last update was April 28. Today is May 6. I'm afraid poor Tuffy can't take anymore. She is still eating, drinking, and using the box, and she still acts as if she has energy, even though she confines herself to only one room of the house. But she is dripping blood from her bladder, a sign her kidneys are gone. We cannot let her suffer. Even hubby said, "That's it." It is 6:00 in the morning here, and we are waiting for the vet clinic to open at 9:00.

Tuffy is gone now.

In our entire relationship I had never seen hubby Mike cry. He had been badly abused as a child, and we both thought that the ability to do so had been beaten out of him. Well, not entirely. I don't know what was harder for me to watch, Tuffy taking her last breath, or Mike shedding tears, considering how much sadness it would take to bring him to that point.

BIG HUGS
I am so sorry for your loss.

(((LovebirdsFlying))) I am so moved by what you have gone through. I am so sorry for the loss of Tuffy.

I followed this board from the beginning.
I'm very sorry to hear that Tuffy is no longer with you.
However, she is now on to bigger and better things! And she certainly won't forget you.

R.I.P Tuffy. Gone but not forgotten

(*(*(*(*(*LoveBirdsFlying*)*)*)*)*)

(*(*(*(*(*Mike*)*)*)*)*)

I'm sorry for your loss, but blessings on you both for the care and love you showed Tuffy right up to the end.

((((((((LovebirdsFlying))))))))))
My heart aches with you. I am so sorry about Tuffy. Sending y'all the biggest hugs.

Aww, thank you for the candle.

If we didn't have our other three cats, I think we'd have gone nuts. everybody.