He kicked him..

My mothers boyfrined doesn't want Matt, my dog, in the house but I always let Matt in when he's not around.

Today my moms boyfriend did something that no one should EVER do. He kicked Matt as hard as he could in his side because he tried to come in the house. And oh my god I was so ****ing pissed off at him. My mom was next him and the only thing she did was call him a few things. After that I went outside to check on him and he wouldn't even come near me...I hate that man, I hate him so much. I can't believe she doesn't even care that he does things like this. I can't stand him...I have such a urge to give him a piece of my mind right about now.

The way a person treats pets says a lot about their personalities.....you definitely have the correct opinion about your mother's BF.....if she's not careful....she will be the next one he kicks.

Give Matt all the loving kindness you can to make sure that your love is what overshadows what that idiot did......& let Matt know that your love will continue to take care of him. Keep working at getting him to come to you & don't let his fear win.....you definitely need to let your love pour out on him & let him know how much love

Maybe you could sit down with your mother & discuss the abusive actions of her BF & let her know that his actions are just a picture of what's inside of him. She probably is just interested in the physical aspect of their relationship because anyone who kicks a pet is abusive & a horrible person on the inside & wouldn't have much other to offer.

You might talk to the ASPCA about any action you could take against your mother's BF....but think the only thing will be is to keep Matt away from the jerk & try to protect Matt the best way you possibly can.

Matt ~ Animal abuse of this magnitude goes hand and hand with domestic violence. Your mother may well be next, or even you. Remember he was kicking something that you loved, so this may be an act of aggression towards you. I totally agree with eskielover.

However, talking to your mother about her boyfriend, may not do any good, sorry to say. Do you have a relative you can confide, someone not living in the immediate household?

You need to have a plan. First, if you choose to contact any legal services for this, they may take your dog for a veterinarian to do an exam to make sure he/she is okay. If there is harm to the dog, then possible charges will be held against this boyfriend. Remember, you do not know if this person has a history of abuse in the criminal system. Or, you could find a friend who could take your dog temporarily until things are sorted out. Next, start to document. Write down the date, time and exactly what happened and keep it hidden, so you have this available should you turn to any legal resources.

Remember, you also witnessed a traumatic event in your life. You need to take good care of yourself and protect yourself and find someone neutral to this situation to talk to. Once the boyfriend arrives, could you arrange with a friend to leave with your dog until he leaves the house? How often is he there and how long?

Just know this is serious and I'm soo glad you came here to talk about this. Please keep us posted We're here for you !!

You know......... I was thinking............... the reason your dog may have run away from you, after he was kicked, could be that he has been injured. The best thing you could do is to take him to a veterinarian just for a checkup, to make sure Matt is okay. You don't want him to be in pain and suffer. Could you do this for Matt?

That's very sad - you have every right to be mad and angry. It's horrible to do this to any living thing...animal or human. I also agree with the other poster about what will he do if he gets fed up with your mom or you. I think you should secretly call animal services. This is also your mom's house and the dog should be allowed to come in the house. I would even say it's better to give the dog up, if Matt can't be 100% safe. I know this sounds extreme but I would rather see a dog put up for adoption, rather than get abused. This really makes me so mad(grrrr) and I'm sorry you had to see this.

Actually he had abused me for a few years, but it was sexual. He never hit me but now it's pretty much turned into verbal abuse sadly to say and he's always trying to make me feel stupid or hurt me in some way so I completely believe he's only doing it to hurt me. It feels like it's my fault it's happening to Matt...

I've talked to my sister about this because I knew she'd understand. When she was living here he killed one of her dogs. The problem with reporting it is that if he gets arrested and has to go to jail for however long we lose our house. It's tecnically his, so we'll have to find somewhere else to live and my mother doesn't make enough to support the both of us and I know she'd be so angry at me if that happened.

Gah, this shouldn't be this stressful. Lately I've been getting really frustrated with him and the way he acts. Coming home drunk and then wrecking the place while he expects me to clean up after him when he's cussing me out. I've been seriously debating on telling my mother about everything he's done just to get away from him.

I really need to think this over.

I know what you mean about giving him up, I'd much rather him not have to go through this. He doesn't deserve it, but I'm not sure what to do. I'm considering it though. If I can help this situation in some way I will. Like getting my mother to get rid of her boyfriend.

I'm worried that anything I recommend might put you in harms way. This sounds like a very serious and dangerous situation. I don't know how to advise you going forward.

I worry that you may feel I am abandoning you, I'm not, please know this. However, I cannot give you legal advice. I didn't realize when I was trying to give you a plan, just how much danger you are in. Maybe some other members here can give you more direction.

Please don't act upon any plans I recommended at this point as this may endanger your life.

I wish you all the luck

BeyondTheEnd - you mentioned in another post that this BF of your mom sexually abused you. Does your mom know he did this? You mentioned you have an older sister and I see you're 16 -could you go live with your sister? Can you ask your mom to turn the dog into the humane society or ask your sister to take him? You're old enough, that you could move out if you're in danger. If he does ever try to hurt you, please call 911. It's better to lose the house and be safe. Often abusers will abuse animals to get the victims to comply. I'm sorry you're going through this.

No, my mom isn't aware of that, but I can't stay with my sister since she's currently unemployed and wouldn't be able to afford having me there plus she already has four animals and I don't think she can handle one more. Moving out has it's benefits. If it came down to it I could just stay with my friend.

I don't know what I'm going to do yet, there's just a lot of things I have to sort out.

I had the feeling that Matt was just the tip of an ice berg. You have so many issues involved with this....the sexual abuse he could go to jail for in the first place & SHOULD!!!! Sad that your mother has a BF like that & ended up allowing herself to get into a position of being tied down to him because she can not financially support herself & you.

You need to make sure you & Matt are safe.....if all else, find a shelter which is what your mother needs to do rather than worry about not having a house for you to live in that isn't safe.

You do have a lot to sort through & some legal advice might be what you need to help you decide what actions you need to take to protect yourself & Matt.

I am so sorry you & Matt both ended up involved in a situation like this. The more you talk through it though, the more firm your thoughts will become in what you need to do.

My dad did the same thing when I was a teenager to this dog I bought. The dog ended up dying 3 months later, after a brief illness.(48 hrs)

I'm not sure to this day whether he had any internal injuries which ended up killing him

My dad . . . he was an abusive father. Verbal abuse of everyone in the family except for my little brother. He didn't hit my mother but he did hit me a bit, just out of nowhere sometimes. I remember that we were walking on eggshells around him.

Maybe it is reading a bit too much into what your boyfriend did, because I do not know him at all. But there is a link between the way we treat animals and the way we treat other people.

I just hate animal abuse.

you have to keep yourself safe. period

boyfriend is crap. needs to be in jail or worse. he has already shown that..to you, mother & sister & now the dog.

this isn't going to stop...i hate to say that but really...talking to this butthole isn't going to get him to play nice ..if anything it might make things escalate since he can feed off the power trip of the pain his actions are causing.

i know you love matt. but you have also only had him a short time. if push comes to shove you might have to pick what is more important..me, my life or the dog. in that case it might be better to let him go to the shelter & you go to a friend's house or shelter.

as for your mom...she is an adult..& i hate to say it..but let her know of some options like shelters, reporting this piece of crap etc.

get your self out of there ASAP. he has hurt you already. this only gets worse...not better...nobody scales back & all of a suddden stops & begins playing house nicely.

if you couldn't get care for matt before because of $$ now that he is hurting...it's not fair to him to not be seen by a vet ...

i may sound harsh but i have been in your footsteps. same ones. my father did everything the boy friend did & worse. watched him kill the dog.
watched him try to kill other beings. including me. i carry those scars..

matt is a survivor. you are too..but only if the two of you get out.

be safe.

stumpy

((( Beyond the Echo ))) I just had to respond again, been thinking of you all last night and this morning. I want to share something with you. I am a survivor of a domestic violence situation with my previous spouse 6 years ago. The police met me at my therapists office and took me straight to a domestic violence women's shelter (which is a safe place and no one knows where it is). Then the police went in and got my cats and took them to my vets for safe keeping. At the DV women's shelter, I was met with compassion and care, I had my own room, daily counseling with trained therapists to help in situations like this, group therapy and free legal advise from an attorney. I had alot of training to learn how to take care of myself and be safe. If I hadn't been taken there, I may not be here today. My therapist had been meeting with my spouse and she knew I was in imminent danger.

I just wanted you to know that all my plans to leave my spouse were thwarted by him when I pleaded for us to get help. It took me leaving my home, one such day, to meet with my therapist to get to safety. I had to simply walk out of my home, get into my car and drive to my therapist who met with me and then the police came to escort me to safety. I was advised not to tell my spouse where I was going when I left home. I had packed essential things in the trunk of my car ahead of time, so when I left, I only had my purse and keys in hand, nothing to tip him off to suspect anything.

If you are calling anyone to talk to them for help, when you hang up, pick back up the phone and hit 0 then hang up again, that way if the boyfriend wants to know where anyone was calling on the phone last, he won't be able to find out the last number dialed. Oh and be sure to clear out the history from your computer when you are through each time you come here.

It doesn't sound like your mom will be able to help you, so it's up to you to take care of yourself. You have options, but you need to be very careful in how you proceed going forward. You sound like a survivor and have the guts to get yourself out of this situation. You also sound very smart and bright and very brave

I wish I could advise you more, I wish I could be there physically to help you. Please know that I am thinking of you and praying you get yourself to safety.

Keep posting to let us know how you are We are all here for you

Ok I think I know what I'm going to do. On the 7th I'm going to confront my mother when we're alone and tell her he molested me when I was younger. She will not tolerate child abuse. So I'll let her make the decisions from there. Matt's the only reason why I'm doing this. I can stand me getting hurt but not him getting hurt because of me.

It's just going through with my plan that's going to be difficult.

What is your back up plan if she doesn't believe you? I hope this doesn't happen to you.

What is your back up plan if she confronts the boyfriend and he later turns on you when you are alone? I hope this doesn't happen to you.

Has she witnessed your boyfriend kicking your dog? If she hasn't reacted, then she may not react to you when you tell her what has been going on behind her back and she may deny your reality. I hope this doesn't happen to you.

You need to think about what may happen after you confront your mother with this and things don't go the way you expected them to go. It could blow up in your face and you need to be prepared for this. Once you tell your mother, it's out of your hands and so is the control of the outcome.

Well when I was younger she had questioned me repeatedly asking if anyone has ever touched and I told her no. She went hysterical after that yelling at me telling me sh eknew somebody had and she'd take care of it if they did but in the end she just gave up since I wasn't telling her anything. So I don't think having her believe me will be a problem and if it is then I'll have no reason to hide it anymore and I'll tell someone who will believe me. And if he turns on me I'll make sure I have something will me to defend myself, I mean I've been waiting a long time to get back at him so i kind of hope he wants to try something.

But I understand a lot of things can go wrong so I'll try to deal with them with best I can if anything happens.

I understand your need for accountability, believe me, I do. But retaliation will only cause you to loose power over this and put you in harms way. It will only make it worse for you, legally, know what I mean? And if you use a weapon, he may usurp physical strength over you, take it away from you and use it on you. Have you thought all this through? Right now you would be considered a victim in the eyes of the law, but if a weapon were used against this person by you, you may no longer be considered a victim and hence little if any protection under the law. I would hate to see you with a juvenile record. At this point, I don't think you have any documented proof of his molesting you, other than your word against his? I'm not disputing anything you are telling us, I am only trying to help you see things through. I have to tell you this sad fact, I was not believed alot of the time when my husband abused me. It was his word against mine, until I was able to document and prove what was happening to me by an independent third party.

Well, keep us posted, will be thinking of you.

BeyondtheEnd, if your mother does not, or can not, believe you about the sexual abuse call your state child protective services yourself and file a report. Hon, I' afraid for your safety. Please keep us posted about what's happening.

You are getting some very wonderful & experienced advice here that is definitely worth listening to & thinking through.

I am sorry that you feel this way:
You should not feel that you can stand for yourself to get hurt. NO ONE should tolerate being hurt by anyone. I hope you do find the strength to stand up for yourself not getting hurt anymore & finally put this guy where he belongs.