[Azza123]

Hi all

I'm very new to this forum. I have only just acknowledged the fact that I have or I think I have a mild form of binge eating disorder. For years, on and off I have binged. I'm not sure if there is an official definition of a binge, but for me it's being unable to control my portions, eating and planning to eat in secret followed by a range of negative feelings. Mostly angry at myself. We're not talking huge amounts of food, but way more than I need. Usually the binges are only for about 10 minutes or so.

It's kind of liberating to declare this, but I'm feeling like this is a safe environment for me to do so.

If someone out there is reading this, like me I'm sure you've read lots of stories about people with similar experiences. I've even watched a lot on you tube about this.

Everyone says the first thing to do is accept it and be good to yourself. So that is my first objective. Every day is new day and an opportunity to be good to myself, to look after my health, happiness and wellbeing.

I don't mean to sound corny, but this is the first time I have openly declared this, even anonymously!

The reason I have added sabotage to the thread title, is that I feel like I sabotage my own health and happiness by binge eating and I'm trying to acknowledge that! There's a safety in the status quo...but I don't want things to stay as they are.

When I quit smoking I took it day by day, each day I would say 'I'm not going to have a cigarette today' and I kept on saying it until I quit. So right now, I am saying 'I am not going to binge today'.

Look forward to hearing others stories, thoughts or comments!

xAzzax

[Azza123]

So here I am replying to my own post....

Today is day 2 of the trying to be positive thing and so far so good. A killer for me is doing my grocery shopping after work on my way home...there were dramas on my train ride and big delays so by the time I got to the shops I was starving!

But I guess I recognised that is usually a vulnerable time for me, and a time that I would usually grab everything that catches my eye...nothing healthy! I read something today that said you should regularly have something small of the things you love - for me it's chocolate - the point being that you don't feel deprived and don't need to have lots. So before I went in, I said I'm going to buy a small chocolate. I've said that before but I usually come away with some giant family block and eat most if not all to myself. Today, I feel proud of myself because I stuck to what I needed and I only bought a small chocolate.

Good luck everyone

PS I have been getting some of my motivation from these great you tube channels by very courageous people who share their own similar experience...if you're interested look up Jennifer Marie or Stefanie Nielson.

[IowaFarmGal]

Thanks for this! I struggle with this too. I try to eat healthy but only seem to make it for a day or two if that. I stock up and plan on eating healthy and sometime stuff just rots.

[Azza123]

I've found that if I pre cut some veg every couple of days it helps keep me on track.

[sunsetsunrise]

Hi Azza. I am impressed that you are so trying to be so proactive and healthy about this. I too have a compulsive eating disorder. Self diagnosed. But its pretty obvious. For me, a little bit of the foods I crave does not work. I have to cut it out entirely. Thats a different approach. In my case, I do not eat sugar. But I allow myself to have cocoa powder. I mix it with fat free almond milk and stevia. The pure herb. Not the stevia that is manipulated that is sold in grocery stores in the US under the name Truvia.

For me this works. I am able to stay away from chocolate bars etc because I do this. I think whatever works, go for it. I find it horribly hard to stay away from savory carbs. My brain screams out for them, lol. But I am not able to do portion control. So, just like with an alcoholic, I must stay away entirely.

Iowafarmgirl, I so hear what you are saying !!! I can completely relate. Its hard. And sad to have to live denying oneself. I have heard that the foods trigger dopamine in the brain and this is why the craving is go huge. Because dopamine is the feel good hormone. Maybe this is true

Being a compulsive overeater who tries to manage it, can be very painful and difficult for me. I have said for years that someday when I die, I want a buffet table waiting for me. The loved ones can come to greet me, as long as its at a buffet table

[Azza123]

Hey Sunset

Thanks for the words of encouragement. Today, was not the greatest day. No bingeing, but kept on picking at foods because I was home most of the day. Because I've been away for the long weekend I wanted a day at home and succumbed to some chocolate when I was doing the shopping. I'm disappointed in myself, but I haven't finished it off and that's pretty good for me.

I think it's amazing that you are cutting out certain foods. Very different to my approach, but like you said it's about what works for you.

I've never heard about certain foods triggering dopamine. Do you have any links or articles you can share? Would be interested to read more.

Take care
A

[sunsetsunrise]

Hi Azza. I think its great that you have not finished the chocolate. Its all about little changes. Because usually the bigger ones do not last. Also, they can have a rebound effect. Causing more weight gain in the end.

The info about the coorelation between Dopamine and carbs was on a video presentation I saw. I got the link through a spiritual/alterative health ( free) teleconference series I subscribe to. Was interesting to watch. Although at the end he did try to sell something. Because of that, I will not put the link here. I would be glad to send the link to you in a pm if you would like. I found it to be informative.

I did, however, find a link that I can post here. Its from livestrong. It talks about Seratonin and Dopamine. The two main foods to help produce high enough levels of both are carbs and protein. http://www.livestrong.com/article/458140-do-carbohydrates-raise-serotonin-dopamine/ A former naturopath told me that I had to increase my protein intake because my seratonin levels were too low. So I did know about that corelation. I hope to find out more about the dopamine. But it may take a while. I can no longer afford to go to a naturopath.

Keep up the great work. Its a process. Last night I wanted to hit something I was craving carbs so much. But my hands and all surfaces remained in tact. And the carb cravings calmed down. I do think that its important to make sure the protein levels are high enough though.

[Nobodyandnothing]

Good luck to you. I have this problem too and I am so disgusted with myself. I gained so much weight on some of my meds, I just gave up trying self-control. Seems like a losing battle.

[sunsetsunrise]

Originally Posted by Nobodyandnothing

Good luck to you. I have this problem too and I am so disgusted with myself. I gained so much weight on some of my meds, I just gave up trying self-control. Seems like a losing battle.

Thats a horrible trade off. I personally think you chose wisely. Always choose meds over vanity. I hope that soon they will come up with a medication that does not cause weight gain. It really is a big problem for so many.

[Azza123]

Sunset, would love that link. Feel free to PM me. Will also take a look at that livestrong one. Thx

NandN, I'm sorry you even had to make that decision. That's tough. But it sounds like you have made the best decision. Look after yourself

[Azza123]

So over the last week or so I've had some highs and lows.

The lows: after a couple of drinks all my will power goes out the window and when I'm hungover I crave a huge dose of carbs.

The highs: my binges were not as extreme as they have been in the past, I did not seem to want a huge quantity of food. I have still managed to lose about a half kilo in a week, which is slow but steady. Also, my exercise patterns have been good.

I read something the other day that really resonates with me, "slow progress is still progress". I get frustrated that I don't get results straight away or quickly, I can put unrealistic pressure on myself.

Hope everyone is doing well