[wearetrees]

Hi, I’m not overweight but i definitely have a binge eating disorder. For me it’s more of a mental problem. I think about food constantly. The way i handle my food influences how i feel that day. For example, if i have eaten healthy and minimally for a few days, say 3, i feel elated and as though i can do anything and am filled with immense hope for the future. At this stage nothing can bring me down because ‘i am going to be thin soon’. But when i eat poorly or have a binge, this could be even just one night of eating piles of crap I grow miserable, aimless and see no real stable purpose for myself in life.
It’s very up and down and it’s all tied to my screwed up relationship with food, body image and self awareness.
I have tried mindful eating, when i get this right it has worked the best for me. It really helps. But i have never been able to last more than 5 days. I just got off a good week where i ate mindfully and was beginning to feel really happy and positive about life but after about seven days i became stressed about an exam one night and binged. I’ve been eating poorly for the past four days.

I guess i am here because i realised that i need a place to express my issue. I have no one at all to talk to about it because binge eating does not seem like a serious problem like alcoholism or drug abuse but in my opinion it is, the mental toll and emotional toll it takes on me every day for the past 11 years is very intense. My relationship with food and my body has really shaped me and how i see myself, in a negative way.

I wish to focus on something else, occupy my mind with thoughts of other things, maybe something i am passionate about, so i stop thinking about food and let go.

this is very difficult as, since about the age of seven, i have been obsessed with being thin.

that was very very long but it’s the first time I’ve ever discussed, verbally/in writing, my eating disorder - something which has been plaguing me for most of my life. I’m 18

[wearetrees]

Hi!
I have an eating disorder. How i eat determines my mood. I think about food and being thin/fat all the time. I wish i could let this go and focus on more important things.

Some days i am filled with happy mania, other days i feel exceptionally empty and deflated - no tears, just emptiness.
The happy days are almost always triggered because of healthy/restricted eating. The sad ones can come on randomly even when eating healthy, but more commonly because of binge eating bouts.

I am here looking for help and someone/people to talk to.

I have tried mindful eating and have found that very helpful but not a bullet proof plan. Mostly because of the deep seated emotions that are intertwined with my perceptions of food, myself and my body image.