[ZenHummerXOXOhsp]

I am directly addressing the chronological history of my issue b/c history repeats itself, therefore it's worth taking a look at the big full picture. My history of binge eating dates back to age 7. I remember my dear late Dad was chopping off pieces of cheese and sausage and I just kept running back for more and more. I've looked at consecutive school photos of me and the proof is there: by age 8 I had been a chubby bunny.

I remember looking at photos of myself and seeing myself in home videos and not liking how fat I looked. By age 11, I decided to focus on more physical activity and consuming less soda. That helped me shed some of the fat and then I had my growth spurt; and by age 13 I was mostly healthy. However, At age 15 the fat was returning, but I fought it off again by studying well and doing well in my nutrition class. Resulting in my improved accurate knowledge of how to eat as healthily as possible.

From ages 17 to 20, I remember being obsessive-compulsive about exercise; and still encountering the occasional binge and trying to justify it only deeply knowing the truth: that there is no appropriate justification for the behavior. I would attempt to discuss it with my psychiatrist but she directed the therapy more around my issue of bereavement and depression.

At age 22, I finally took a more proactive step in my life and went to weekly meetings of support group therapy. I finally felt like the seriousness of my ed was being addressed; yet I still had episodes. A few months later, I relocated and didn't take initiative to immediately seek out another support group due to being in denial and thinking maybe I could control the compulsions.

To this day, currently 26 yrs old, and the struggle is not any different. I still easily have seconds and thirds; and eat entire boxes of cookies. It's not good and it's taking it's toll. I have lumbago, so the extra 20 lbs only adds more pain.

In my most recent visit w/ my therapist I discussed my ed and she suggested I do research on intervention. I am thankful to have found PC b/c now I can share my real painful story and relate to others. It only gets worse the more you try to sweep it under the rug.

I am aware the binges are triggered by unstable emotions, stress, and anxiety; but I'm not sure if there is something more to my problem that I am just currently unaware of. That's why I'm thankful to be sharing and finding a supportive community of others whom are willing to share their story and journey to recovery. My journey to recovery never really seems to begin since time and time again I encounter frequent relapses. Feel free to share your personal experience and what steps and processes you are taking to heal and recover. Thank you.

[bluekoi]

ZenHummerXOXOhsp, Thank you for sharing your story with us. Wishing you well.

Girl scout cookie season is impossible...... a box a day for about two weeks. I probably will not have two cookies for the rest of the year.

[ChildlikeEmpress]

I can relate to you so much! Hopefully sharing your struggles will help. I'm new to ED recovery myself. I also remember my first binge... I was the same age you were, actually, about 7! I remember perching on the counter, eating an entire box of wheat thins and I felt so sick afterwards. I also remember around that time eating a whole giant tube of tootsie rolls, the kind of tube that is about 3 feet long. To this day I hate tootsie rolls because I made myself so ill with them.
I must have had a freakish metabolism because I did not struggle with weight issues until my late 20s (I'm 37 now). I am having a major battle with it now though.
Glad we are here to support each other!

[Standup2me]

An entire box of chips and a container of Kraft onion chip dip

[growlycat]

In my tween years, I gained a lot. I was criticized by everyone so I ate less at breakfast and I became weird about eating in front of people at school, so I stopped eating at school all together.

When I got home from school, I was dizzy and ravenously hungry. So I binged. And on strange things so my mom wouldn't notice what was missing.

I started taking fiber pills just to feel full and not want to eat. That made me pretty sick.

I lost a lot in my teens and was "normal" but I've gained since.

Changing habits at middle age is hard.

I remember my first binge. I was 14 and had anorexia. It was in December. I binged on things in the cupboard like stale pudding and scoops of dry muffin mix. I had diarrhea so i didn't hang on to it for long. My parents were downstairs watching football on TV. My younger sister was dozing on the sofa. I remember it was important that no one know.