[noodle_82]

Hi everyone

I've not been here in a while - was doing really well with managing my BPD symptoms and weight for a couple of years...now it's all crashing down around me lol

To cut a long story short, I was obese for about 10 years (binge eating). Suddenly became really unwell and stayed in hospital for 2 months with an ongoing illness and 2 operations. As a consequence, over a period of a year I lost 2/3s of my body weight, and was underweight for the first time in my life. Ironically the nurses encouraged me to eat fatty foods and carbs to gain weight!

That was a year ago. I am now pretty much back to full health, and with that has come the binge eating again How do you guys cope with the vicious circle?

I might be having a 'good' eating day and feel better about myself. Then I'll catch my reflection in a window or something and realise how awful I think I look (I am a normal weight but cannot stand all the fat I have put on). That then makes me feel worse about myself and I start thinking "well, if I'm already fat what's the point in even trying to look after myself? I'll never be thin. I'll just eat some more to make myself fatter coz who cares anyway." And then I binge, and then I really do feel worse... Repeat cycle as desired lol

My bingeing occurs when I am alone, so I'm guessing it's down to loneliness and hating myself and isolation (I'm in therapy to to try to figure the root cause - not go the answer yet lol)

Just wondering if anyone can relate to being alone/lonely and the binge eating cycle ??

thanks for reading, noodle

[K2TOG]

I can relate and don't know how to stop. I am at my highest weight ever and I look disgusting.