[PrincessPlatinum]

So today I was out shopping with my friend, who is super tiny, and she decided to go into Dressbarn. I was nervous to go in because I know it's geared toward smaller women, but I didn't want to leave her alone and be rude, so I went in anyways. She found an adorable dress while she was in there. I went into the fitting room with her so that I could take a much needed sit break. As my friend put on her dress, my heart sank at how small she was. The dress she has tried on was a petite small, and it was still too big for her. It just made me feel so fat and ugly and huge, even though I know it shouldn't have. I'm taking steps toward recovery and all, but was a huge confidence crusher for me. I know there are setbacks in the journey to recovery, and that this was one of them, I just... it hurt, you know? More than anyone could understand. Because despite all the progress I've made with loving my body, that voice inside me still tells me that I need to be skinny.

[oliveorgans]

I completely understand how you feel. Too often I catch myself admiring the thinness of my best friends' arms, the gap between her legs, and her collar bones. I worry that when we go out together, that people compare us and see how my body doesn't do the same things. I dress in loose clothing and end up giving her the tiny clothes I am too insecure to wear. She is my best friend in the whole world yet sometimes I feel like she is a demon who haunts me, and even worse, she doesn't know it. Of course she means no harm. I know. It's horrible. I feel ashamed eating around her, but then I am so paranoid that she will notice that I end up eating a regular amount. Even more than average, me trying to justify my own body. But when she leaves, I feel angry. I just think how!!! I see how often she drinks water and I despise it. What kind of friend despises the way someone hydrates?

What we need to do is take a break. Learn how to breathe. Love ourselves. Your our own cells. In this modern age of comparison and social media, it feels impossible. But one day.... this pain must go away. I just want this feeling and these thoughts to go away. Please. just for a single day. For the both of us.