Just wanna eat…

I wanna eat, wanna binge so bad
So bad that it hurts & makes me sad

It hurts beyond any torture, any pain
This kind of disease, so full of disdain

I fight, I try so hard not to give in
But temptation keeps on knocking…

On my door, screaming right in my face
With food I crave, it only acts to replace…

All the feelings that are buried deep down so
I find it incredibly difficult to even try to let go…

Of all of this pain, buried deep down within
No matter how hard I try, I end up giving in

I take the food, it tastes good for a bit
But it cannot hide all of the hidden *****

That I hold in my heart, feels too much to bear
This weight covering me isn’t going anywhere

Without me trying to drop the extra pounds
Seems so unreal, least that’s how it sounds

All the trauma that I have had to endure
Over the years, some still feels unsure

Of all the people, of all the pain I carry inside
It’s so much easier if I keep it in and just hide

Away from the world, who’ve taken so much
At a time when using just the simplest of touch

Would damage me so, inside and out
I’d lost my voice, I just couldn’t shout

For help, for someone to save my soul
Wasn’t really asking for that much at all

Just to be loved, to be cared for, humanised
Instead the pain so bad it’s left me paralysed

Now only memories of my time back then
When I was taken over and over again