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  #26  
Old Apr 27, 2010, 02:01 PM
ceje ceje is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2010
Posts: 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by AShadow721 View Post
Do you not see that's using violence to counter act violence? And damage to counter act damage? You may not get that point across the best way if you hit a child for hitting. It's punishing them for doing something that you're doing to punish them. If the adult hits them, than why would they think it's so wrong to hit the dogs? And hitting them doesn't really teach them to respect all living things, because it's not very respectful to them. The parents are doing what they are punishing for, what they are trying to teach the child is wrong and disrespectful. And for them doing something dangerous, it's hurting them so they don't hurt themselves. It just doesn't really make sense. Maybe spanking them doesn't do as much harm as these serious things could, but there are other ways to discipline and teach them those things are wrong or dangerous. I know it's probably a spurt of the moment thing where you get scared and freak out, because you don't want your child to get hurt. It sounds ilike you don't like it or want to spank your kids. You know what? You don't have to. You can discipline them in other ways. I'm not trying to judge anyone, I just want to explain that the things that were taught to us as children, may not make much sense. A lot of people think that they have to spank their children, because that the way they grew up and they don't understand that you can do other things, because their parents didn't do other things. It's thousands of years of bad information, now we know it's effects and that it doesn't make much sense to do this. Just a couple decades ago, nearly all parents thought that spanking was a good way to parent, now half of the parents in the United States don't believe in it. And more and more countries are outlawing it.
You asked for advice remember? I didn't tell you what to do and I did not attack your parenting. Maybe you didn't fully read my post cause you clearly don't understand us. I will guarantee when your child enters school if you have not taught them respect and boundries you'll be the one trying to explain why other kids don't just get it. My kids are highly sought after for playdates they share they don't hit and we have a fun home. I'm younger than 2\3 of the other parents and they're coming to me for help. If I was "violent" with my childern wouldn't they be shy reluctant and self consious instead of outgoing friendly and leaders. My kids are happy with their boundries. Did you ever think maybe yours is throwing fits cause he's confused. And next time you want "advise" why don't you put your opinion in the reply box that way no one who does it differently answers you. That's absolutely ridiculious to attack me and basically say my kids are abused when I said its not for everyone and doesn't even always apply to childern in the same house depending on temprament. I'm shutting up now cause you have completely infuriated me and I don't want to retaliate your nonsense and give it another moment of my valuable time.

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  #27  
Old Apr 27, 2010, 03:02 PM
AShadow721's Avatar
AShadow721 AShadow721 is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2010
Location: United States
Posts: 334
I'm so sorry you took what I said so offensively. I must have put my foot in my mouth. It is just that what you said were common things that people say about spanking as listed on the site I posted. If you hadn't said that you cried more than your baby did for being spanked for the first time, I wouldn't have thought that you didn't want to do it, and I would have said nothing. I said that I wasn't trying to judge anyone. I just wanted to explain my beliefs on the situation which I think are valid and make sense. Like I said, I posted this thread for support and validation of how I'm choosing to raise my son. I posted this thread for the support, because we all recieve bad and unwanted advice on how to parent from someone in our lives. I was not looking for advice. Nothing anyone told me was going to make me think maybe I was wrong, maybe I should spank my kids. I was not trying to say that you are a bad parent or that your kids are bad. I'm sorry I have a strong opinion about corporal punishment and I may see it as abuse, because I was terribly abused with "discipline" as an excuse. In my original post, I said that I may not see the difference. But still, my opinion and beliefs remain and I hope that someday soon the U.S. will ban this type of punishment from being used in homes, like 25 other countries already have starting in 1979. I am sorry. I didn't want to make you feel attacked or unsupported. That is not what PC is for.
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"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless." -Mother Teresa

"Respect is love in plain clothes” -Frankie Byrne

“Mankind must remember that peace is not God's gift to his creatures; peace is our gift to each other.” - Elie Wiesel

“Just as despair can come to one only from other human beings, hope, too, can be given to one only by other human beings.” - Elie Wiesel

"And even though you're fed up, Huh, ya got to keep your head up, Keep ya head up, oooo child things are gonna get easier, ooooo child things are gonna get brighter" - Keep Ya Head Up by Tupac Shakur
  #28  
Old Apr 27, 2010, 03:14 PM
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Rhapsody Rhapsody is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2006
Location: Florida
Posts: 9,946
Sounds like you are doing a good job with the time outs and reinforcing words... keep it up and remember the old say "Parenting Isn't for Cowards" - every parent will learn this at some time or another over the eighteen plus years they give to their child.
Thanks for this!
AShadow721
  #29  
Old Apr 27, 2010, 08:14 PM
ceje ceje is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2010
Posts: 19
Shadow you and I have already pmed, but I still wanted to apologize publically for being so sensitive and defensive. We are both parents in a difficult situation trying our best. I was trying to be supportive and show if used properly it isn't damaging but I guess I sounded judgemental I didn't mean to. And I'm sorry I took your response so defensively and responded in anger. All I meant iss childern should be treated as childern but taught boundries that's our jobs as parents.
Thanks for this!
AShadow721
  #30  
Old Apr 27, 2010, 11:39 PM
AShadow721's Avatar
AShadow721 AShadow721 is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2010
Location: United States
Posts: 334
It's okay to be defensive and angry. I can understand where you're coming from. Thank you for your apology. I hope you have a better day.
__________________
"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless." -Mother Teresa

"Respect is love in plain clothes” -Frankie Byrne

“Mankind must remember that peace is not God's gift to his creatures; peace is our gift to each other.” - Elie Wiesel

“Just as despair can come to one only from other human beings, hope, too, can be given to one only by other human beings.” - Elie Wiesel

"And even though you're fed up, Huh, ya got to keep your head up, Keep ya head up, oooo child things are gonna get easier, ooooo child things are gonna get brighter" - Keep Ya Head Up by Tupac Shakur
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