[noah_and_daddy_care]

I have shared my wife's diagnosis of bipolar II disorder with a very few people. The same limited number that I talked about my own depression. ONe of my roommates from college who I am still very good friends with called me out of the blue today to see how my wife, 2 1/2 year old son, and I are doing. I said we were all doing well and had to go which was true because my son was a fussy mess.

I told him to call back tomorrow. I think I am going to share with him tomorrow about were our family is right now and hope for the best. We have fronted for so long that everything is o.k. that it would be good to be completely honest. I am sure that my situation is in no way unique but I was just curious how others in a similar situation have been received by friends when sharing their illness or spouse's illness.

[muse]

It's been okay for me. I've actually told many of my friends in college about my depression/anxiety, but it's a lot easier to do when you're in such an accepting environment, and much harder to hide, as well. I don't know if my parents have shared my diagnosis with anyone, really, save our immediate family members, but they are easily worried over how people will react to things, and both place a pretty big social stigma on my mental issues. :/

I'm curious as to how your friend took the news. When I told my best friend about my diagnoses, and even after my one suicide attempt, she was always there for me and always stayed close. I truly hope your friend does the same!

[Perna]

I think you have to discuss it with your wife? It's her information too. I wouldn't just tell others, because it makes you feel better to, especially if it's "your" friend and not a joint, family friend. There's a certain amount of "need to know" that enters into it too. Is this friend local and a source of help if you need extra people to babysit or check in on you/your wife?

Everyone we know, a "greeting" almost is asking how families/wives/children are. It's not really meant as a serious question and answering "fine" is what is expected. When we tell other people our troubles, it actually can burden them with it! While we may benefit from the relief, we may also have caused them concern, or even anxiety, if they're not able to help us in some way.

I would make up an "inbetween" answer, if you feel you are "lying" by answering "fine" when things aren't fine; I'd just say something like you all are experiencing some health issues but expect things will be getting better. If the other person is nosy or concerned and asks "what health issues" then you can go into a little more detail if you feel like it or not, as determined by your sense of the relationship between you and that person.