[NuckingFutz]

Yeah, still having problems with one of my neighbors. I do not answer my door anymore but now one neighbor says it is a medical emergency. Don't want this old man having seisures at my front door so I go back down to his apartment. He had a seisure this morning so I called 911. This the second time he has refused to go to the hospital. The EMT's went through his meds. He takes klonopin to help keep seisures at bay. However, if you stop suddenly, seisures are a withdrawl symtom. This guy got 60 klonopin on 4/20/10 and he should take 3 a day. He ran out last Sunday. If you do the math, it does not add up. He also drinks vodka when he runs out of klonopin. He will come down about 5 times a day and knock and knock. One time I told him that I was eating dinner (which I was) through the door and he said to come down, it will just take a minute. I could not even finish my meal because I was angry that he expected me to stop eating dinner. This man can ramble on for hours. How do you say no to a medical emergency?!

[lynn P.]

I think it's time to draw the line ((NF)). It's not fair to you that he has made you take the place of his family member. If he needs help this much, he should be in one of those assisted retirement places(not a nursing home). Even the manager could help him. Does he have any family the manager could talk to? It just appears like he really does need help - I wonder does he qualify for a health worker to stop by and help? You may have to put your foot down and ask the manager to step in. You have enough to worry about and you don't want him to feel he can depend on you too much.

[Perna]

I would find out who his family is and tell/threaten/embarrass his children :-) and/or, if he has no next-of-kin, I'd complain to the apartment management, have them reprimand him. If he can't take care of himself, he shouldn't be living there but, in any event, shouldn't be bothering you.

[NuckingFutz]

Yeah. Neighbor gave my number to his brother. Told him about the klonopin when he called. A volunteer is taking him to get his new prescription. I am going to just avoid this neighbor. I know he needs assisted living and if his brother calls I will tell him I just can't be there for him. I will talk to my neighbor next time he catches me unaware. Ask him once to get someone else to help or go to assisted living. Then if that does not work will talk to the apartment manager. Think this guy is passive agressive. He lied about his klonopin usage to me. The volunteer did not seem happy that I called 911. The guy was having a seisure when I was on the line with them. The volunteer asked if I was the one who called. Neighbor seemed nervious that we were talking. Although the seisure was real, I think my neighbor likes to play victim to distract from having to admit he can't take care of himself properly. I have had it.

[lynn P.]

Sounds like you know what to do NF. I don't blame you for being fed up. I think you might be a little too nice without realizing it. Good you're ready to set up some personal boundaries.

[NuckingFutz]

Have been setting them. The chap is persistent. Told him I could not do this anymore. One more time and the manager is getting a call. Thanks everyone. I will keep you updated.

[NuckingFutz]

Taking baby steps and extra good care of myself tonight...dinner, bath and to bed early! Journaled to get the anger out about not being honest about his meds. It's stunts like these that get people killed. Thank you all for being here for me!

[Perna]

It's so scary too, having to care for another person who's having a medical emergency when we have our own issues! My brother was an alcoholic and, in the middle (back in the 1970's), got it in his head that our parents were "angry" at him and he couldn't talk to them, so, decided little sister was the one he'd lean on. I was just starting therapy for real and was confused about myself, much less having that mess put on me.

[NuckingFutz]

Day one of avoiding him. He called, told him I was not home today. Less than 5 minutes later he is knocking at my door, then my window (I was home because I am sick today). Next time the cops get a call. Insert grumpy face icon. Can anyone I agree with me that knocking at my window after I told him I was not home is not normal behavior? I would never do that to someone.

[lynn P.]

For sure this isn't normal behavior and you're right in calling the cops next time and getting the manager involved. I wonder if he has dementia? Do you think he's smitten(gasp) for you or just a needy/lonely man? If he calls again, I would be completely honest and say please don't call or knock on my door/window because I don't like this. This can't be healthy for you ((NF)).

[NuckingFutz]

Thanks for the feedback. Taking good care of myself today. Got my fever down and just resting and drinking a lot of water. Got my stereo and my CD's, asprin, journal and you all here. Think the guy is lonely and self medicating. He had a stroke last year and moves slower than an impacted bowel (constipation). He lives in the past apparently unable to just deal one moment at a time the present.. I am doing good with the boundary thing. Actions speak loud to him, words don't. Have to tell him to move out of my doorway. He is aware of his disruptiveness (he calls himself "the annoying neighbor"). But I am dealing. Me acknowleding him just keeps him from getting the help he needs. It also takes the focus off me where it needs to be.

[NuckingFutz]

Okay, he walked into my apartment without knocking (drunk as a skunk and probably high on his meds. Had to call the cops. He has to go to detox before they even book him. They had him in 4 point restraints on the ambulance stretcher! This pathetic.

[lynn P.]

OMG that's horrible. He really needs to be in assisted living. Did you forget to lock your door NF -silly girl lol. Sorry this happened and I hope you feel better.

[NuckingFutz]

Nah...had just gotten home from grocery shopping and thought putting the groceries away without locking my door. He was so out of it he admitted that he did just walk in. One of the EMT's looked me over after I gave my statement and said "you actually look peaceful after all this, why?" I told him "hey, he's not my problem anymore". The EMT did not hear my convo with police. I hope he barfed in their ambulance. You know me and I am not this cold but nothing else worked. Sigh of relief. I am pressing full charges against him for breaking the peace, unauthorised entry into my home and stalking.

[RRU96]

It reminds me of an episode of the Cosby show (I think). There was an older guy who couldnt read. He lived a life where he Always was able to find a way to not have to read. My glasses are broke, I have bad vision, gives me a headache. Eventually, he got called out on it.

Being a caregiver to a family member is hard enough, I couldnt take a neighbor trying to pull me in to their needs as well.

Call him out. Find a day when he is feeling good, make sure he is doing okay. Not having any issues, then I would invite him out for a cup of coffee. And lay it down, honestly. Don't be hurtful, just honest.

[NuckingFutz]

Oh, I am a wonderful friend. I do not talk to him because he is always talking. He knows nothing about me. He talks so mubh when I shut the door in his face the other morning at 1 a.m. He was still talking through the door. The only thing that shuts him up is having a seisure. I felt panic coming on as I was forced to watch him have a seisure. He was twitching like he was hooked up to Old Sparky. It is something I wished I had never had to see ever again. Creepiest thing I ever saw in my life.

[lynn P.]

I think you're right in handling it the way you did - by calling the police - otherwise he'll keep doing this. I don't think having a sane conversation with him will do the trick. I bet he has dementia and doesn't know what he's doing half the time. His family or some organization needs to get involved and move him to another living facility, which will monitor him. This kind of person shouldn't be living on their own. I hope he won't bother you anymore ((NF))

[NuckingFutz]

Thanks Lynn. You are right. No contact is the best policy. I can breathe deeply again. Doubt they will release him back out on his own. His cognative functioning is an oxymoron in itself. May he get the help he so desprately needs. He won't find it here.

[NuckingFutz]

Wrong! He's back. Called the cops again just now. Guess he didn't get enough jail time which means that he will keep wasting our tax dollars until someone in central booking gets a clue! Oh, and just for you all who are wondering, he looks kinda like that Otis guy on Mayberry RFD.

[lynn P.]

Did he knock on your door again NF? Do you think he has dementia. I feel sorry for you -how annoying.

[NuckingFutz]

This guy had a stroke a few months back. He drinks and he over medicates on klonopin. He says he has a seisure disorder. I do not know if he has dementia. When the cops took him, I told him I had issues just like he did and listed them. He said he did not know. I told him if he would stop talking and listen once in a while, he might have known. The guy is not mean by any stretch of the imagination. I just can't stand him. I do not like drunks and self medicating distructive behavior.

[lynn P.]

I hope he'll finally understand to stay away from you NF. I wonder if he's ever bothered another tenant like this - you should ask the manager.

[NuckingFutz]

He had a friend who has paranoid scitz, he calls the cops on average of 3 times per week. So far the cops never find a problem. In other words, no one has stepped up to the plate to help. I like to help people, the ones that want help I can. But these other others, the ones that do not want help if it means changing their problem behaviors. Even their own case managers cannot help. This is where I live. I will have peace here. Nothing else will be tolerated. I told him if he knocks on my door again 911 gets a call. I use to try to help people but when they say they are sorry but keep doing the same thing tells me they can't stop what it is they are doing.

[Gabi925]

Please gather these stories!

[NuckingFutz]

Yes, he has finally realised that when he comes and knocks on my door it bugs me. He called me and left a voicemail telling me this... Ba ha ha! Saving all messages. Things have pretty okay lately.