[NuckingFutz]

Last night my neighbor that I am ignoring came crashing through my front door. Broke the chain I had on it. Got tired of him totally. Still couldn't call the police on him. But I am so mad now, that you know, I think I can. I don't want to cause problems and I certainly do not think jail is the place for him. Most likely, they will just escort him back to his apartment where he will turn around and come back, and back, and back.

I did send an email to his sister at his request (he couldn't even find the mouse to get started). I took this time to request his sister call him as he wanted, but I also stuck in there all the shiza going on.

They care and they know he's an alcoholic. He tells them that the pharmacy shorted him on his klonopin and I fixed that one real fast. They had a feeling. They thought he was at an AA meeting Thursday night...he was passed out drunk. Told them he wasn't cause they don't allow drunk people in AA meetings.

So next time he comes near me I will tell him, hey, I can't help you. If you come down here again and disturb me, I will call the police.

Feedback?

[perpetuallysad]

I think you are wise. There is a point when you have to take more care of yourself than someone who is not willing to take care of themselves.

[sanityseeker]

Good call. Would there be any value to trying to talk to him about his behaviour before he tries barging in again? Assuming you could find him sober for the conversation. Not if your safety is compromised but maybe together with his sister you can discuss this with him.

[NuckingFutz]

Um, he is rarely sober now a days. he just goes back to his behavior when he is drunk. I give up and will let the cops deal with this.

[lynn P.]

((NF)) - what a royal pain he is. Maybe he should be in a nursing home. Sorry he's still a problem.

[notz]

Ms. Futz,

Breaking and entering is a crime. Whether jail is the place for him or not may ultimately be the decision of someone other than you. Are you helping him or just keeping him from where he needs to go to get help?

I think I'd be going to the hardware store for a 2x4 and 2 metal u-channels to seriously bolt my door with. Please take care dear one.

[NuckingFutz]

He couldn't stand up so he was leaning on my door. It was honestly not forced entry...he could not even force himself to stand up straight. Doesn't remember it. I seriously do think the police need to get involved. At this point it will be my pleasure. Family can't afford a nursing facility so some guards will have to do. Let them watch him have seisures and go through the DTs. They also do not let them have benzos or booze. You know, you are right...no one knows how seriously bad off he is...but they will. Might just be the right thing to do. Thanks for that!

[sanityseeker]

Wise thought. Sometimes what we think is an act of kindness can become enabling if what someone really needs is a wake up call and professional help. More then enough reason to involve the cops and hope he get the help he needs beofer he hurts himself or someone else. Calling in the pros could be the kindest thing you could do after all.

[AAAAA]

Jail is exactly where he needs to be right now. Once the law is involved he'll get the medical attention he needs whether he wants it or not. Once he's out he may choose to go back to drinking, but that's on him.

At some point your kindness has made you become an enabler.

[Perna]

I don't see any problem with your attitude or planned response. It's very good boundary setting!

[NuckingFutz]

I agree. Thanks all!

*nods*

I agree also.

This man is CLEARLY not going to get the help he needs himself and also clearly his family has decided to stay in denial about his condition.

jail can be a very good place for some. Although i strongly feel a mental health unit/rehab would be more ideal for him - the good thing here is that because it is alchohol he is addicted to, and because you can die from alchohol withdrawl - even with a prison sentance he will either be held in the prison detox/rehab/hospital ect, or sent to a high security public one.

One thing you may want to mention to his family - if you feel comfortable doing so - is to make sure he GETS that medical care while he is wherever they decide he needs o go. Unfortunately there ARE prisons which would deny medical care to inmates - though they are NOT allowed to do so unless doing so would cause harm or risk to the population. This is a huge human rights issue and is one of the things that amnesty international i think it was, fights all over the world.

Recently where i am from there were some deaths(it was a few years back..not sure when) of inmates who were new and denied medical care for drug(benzo specifically) and alchohol withdrawl. Now, in the prisons, because of that, there is a process you can go through as an inmate to "complain" to the human rights commission if you are denied methadone, or treatment for either benzo or alchohol withdrawl. Those are the only ones i am aware of that they are required to treat as they can be deadly. The other drugs have withdrawls but are not fatal in 99% of cases in a healthy individual. There was another huge issue with prisoners on illicit substances being tazed in prison during situations and dropping dead because of it. As it turns out (surprise, surprise!) if you happen to be on alot of speed, and get electrocuted, your heart will stop! GOSH who would have considered that eh? (pfft. sarcasm).

On any hand, my point is that if someone wont gt help and their family or friends or loved ones cant get through - jail usually will. Because most people dont like jail. And will do anthing to get out asap. And if you can get a person sober for a peice of time, you can usually get them to the point where they want to stay sober more than want to get effed up.

You do what oyu need to to protect YOU - hopefully though, as we all wish, what you do can have a benefit for this man and his family as well.

[NuckingFutz]

My neighbor's family is not in denial, they just do not have the money. I have discussed this very issue with both his brother and sister. If I continued to assist this family, I could most likely help without additional funds needed by the family. I however, would be spending most of my time and energy researching and working with various agencies to make things happen to ensure he got the care he needed while providing as much independence as possible for him. I'd also be working for free and that is not an option at this time with my bipolar. I am interested in helping people like this so I am looking into going back to school to help in these types of situations and making a career out of it. Thanks for your feedback and yes you are right, people who do not want help, won't get it, but I do not think neglect in other areas of their life should shorten their life span. Of course I could be talking out of my arse.