[WLFTW]

Hello fellow PC'ers.

I have a cousin in a situation I am deeply troubled by. I'm troubled because the exact same thing happened to me. I am 33 and he is approximately 25. He is facing the same struggles I did when I was his age.

Similar item number one is that he has been involuntarily placed into a few psychiatric hospitals, where he is right now. I'm not sure of the circumstances surrounding the admission, whether or not he attempted suicide or if he's there for something else.

Number two is that he has had so many diagnoses, I don't think he puts much stock into psychiatry anymore. Most recently, a doctor said he was fine and told him he didn't need the medication he was on then. That's the story I heard although it very well could be that my cousin lied about the doctor authorizing medication stoppage.

Similarity number three is that he is not medication compliant. I'm sure many of us have experienced the feeling of seeming all better and then stopping meds because we feel better. Either that or we stop the meds because of the side effects such as, but not limited to, feeling like an emotional zombie never able to feel good or bad...to feel human.

I have been non-compliant very often and I always wind up in some trouble or another like the day I quit my good, well-paying career so I could walk the earth and help people...needless to say, that plan devised during a manic episode didn't work out for me. I ended up in a homeless shelter.

I currently am medication compliant solely because these particular side effects don't bother me much nor do I feel they are changing my personality too much. Off meds, I am very amped up and on these meds, I am still me, just not so extreme in my emotions. Well, there's that and as part of my plea bargain, there is a court order now that legally compels me to take meds. I am fortunate that I wasn't put into a long-term institution right then and there, actually.

I'm afraid to tell him that it took me eight years of trying different cocktails to find the right one for me. I can't even suggest he take what I'm taking because, in my experience, everyone has different responses, positive and negative, to medication. I feel like I've tried almost everything. Lithium, depakote, celexa, wellbutrin, lexapro, zyprexa and zyprexa zydis, haldol, topomax, trileptal, and a few others. After one hospital stay, my discharge prescription had me down for high doses for two antipsychotics (haldol and zyprexa) and two mood stabilizers (lithium and one I'm forgetting). I consider myself very fortunate to have found a good cocktail which I have been on for two years now with the recent addition of klonopin.

I have been very impatient with psychiatry and so is my cousin, I expect. Whatever little patience I had for psychiatry has finally paid off and I can only hope my cousin also finds the right solution for him, whether it's meds and/or therapy.

I think there isn't much I can do other than tell him I support him and that he can talk to me whenever he wants. At his age, no one can force him to be compliant with therapy/medication...and even if they could force him, the very fact that he doesn't think anything is wrong and will resist any form of "solution" will inhibit and lengthen his recovery.

One thought I had was that now that he's been hospitalized several times, he would probably qualify for disability which is, again, exactly what happened to me. If he could get on disability, insurance would come with it...my idea is that he could stay with me as long as he has his own income and he wouldn't have to pay any rent. Right now, he lives with my aunt and getting out of that situation might prove to remove a possible stress/trigger. I get rides to the doctor who I think is excellent and so could he.

I am at a loss in terms of how I can help him. He thinks nothing is wrong with him.

Winston

[WLFTW]

One of my internet friends said he has been planning to kill himself for a while.
Just sad when people want to do that. Bracing myself for the loss.
Maybe he'll pull out of this rut since I don't see him grabbing a rope if I were to toss him one. Recently, he had been trying really hard to piss me off (and he did); now he says that was just to make it easier to sever the relationship if I hated him.

[Perna]

Originally Posted by WLFTW

I think there isn't much I can do other than tell him I support him and that he can talk to me whenever he wants.

One thought I had was that now that he's been hospitalized several times, he would probably qualify for disability which is, again, exactly what happened to me. If he could get on disability, insurance would come with it...my idea is that he could stay with me as long as he has his own income and he wouldn't have to pay any rent. Right now, he lives with my aunt and getting out of that situation might prove to remove a possible stress/trigger. I get rides to the doctor who I think is excellent and so could he.

I am at a loss in terms of how I can help him. He thinks nothing is wrong with him.

Winston, you're a great cousin and friend. Just remember to take care of yourself first, sounds like you've gone though heck and worked hard to get to where you are now and while it would be nice if your cousin and friend could listen to you, they may/may not be in that place now. You can try but don't get too engaged that it affects you too much.

Sorry your friend is busy deliberately hurting you by telling you his plans; I'd get angry in turn, and dress him down for his behavior toward you, both that he thinks you're a lightweight who will be less hurt just because you're angry and for not thinking things through well and putting all that energy into negative plans instead of positive ones.

[WLFTW]

Thanks.

About the second post... Yeah, I posted about it on my fb and got a couple of comments back saying they, too shove everyone away when they are feeling suicidal.