Welcome to Partners of People with Personality Disorders

If you're someone who's in a current relationship with someone who has a personality disorder, or someone who's had a past relationship with them, this is a forum to share experience, coping tips, and more.

Please keep in mind -- we're a place for mental health support. Be respectful when discussing these issues and try not to generalize.

DocJohn

Hi Dr. John, how are you? I have a request. I wonder if you could start a forum for people with partners who have schizophrenia, I have a boyfriend with sz and I`ve been having such a hard time and I`ve been on here searching for answers and on many other websites and it`s almost impossible to find positive, hopeful info that actually deals with coping strategies, improving communication issues and making the best of the relationship. There is pretty of general info which is good but no specialized info on romantic relationship with SZ partners, I wish there was more. If you have any advice on where to get this type of information and if you could start a forum I would greatly appreciate it. take care and have a great day.

Thanks DocJohn!

this seems like a great idea. it just so happens that last week i attended a support group for partners of people with mental illness. it was the first time i was able to go, and i'm so glad i did! it helps to know that i am not the only person going through some of the struggles i have with my DID partner. that type of support is priceless.

i hope this forum can also be a good resource for those of us looking to connect and support each other through the complications of close relationships involving mental health struggles as well.

thanks again.

Thank you so much for this, its perfect! There really is So little organized information available for partners.

I am needing advice on anything about PMDD , i feel my partner has this problem but she wont find out or admit to a problem .
She has now decided she isnt happy with her life and is leaving me .
What can you do for someone with this problem that wont admit it or get help ?

Hi Dr John. My husband suffers with depression and at times closes down totally. There is very little support for partners of people suffering with depression. It would be nice to find other people who understand situation.

At times I loose my self respect.age 64 Off and on for 10 years I have felt this. My wife went on a sex addiction starting over the internet and leading to phone sex and 6 sexual one night events for 3 to 4 years. Finally she came clean with this behavior and wanted to leave me. We worked it out and are still together. However, I still get flash backs like when I was in the Marine reserves and cannot seem to clean it out of my mind. It really hurts when I talk about it and leaves me thinking I did not do enough to keep her satisfied. I am 64 now and still have these episoses. I have discussed this with her off and on which makes her upset that I have not moved on. I take zoloff, xanax, and for my epilipsy lamotrigine. My bother has had many sexual incounters that I lost count of. My father puts him on a pedistal. Where I am just the intellegent geek of the family: Eng. with a masters. I feel like I do not have the courage to do anything like my brother and my wife have done. I feel like I have fail in basic life requirements for healthy marital relationships. I have possibly 15 to 20 years of my life to live. I do not want to live them like this. Believe it or not, talking to my wife helps, but I dare not inter into the discussion the above thoughts.

Answer: I don't think you can do anything until they are so low and defeated that they agree to treatment. but don't be surprised that if in 3 days they are feeling better ... and treatment is off the table.

Hey Meaghan, I understand how you feel it is like looking through a clouded window and helpless to clear it up....to be honest this is a decision that your mate has to make for themselves. A tightrope, because in the process of supporting and tolerating our mates, we neglect ourselves. Good luck to you!

Hi DocJohn, Psych Central helped me tremendously a few years ago when dealing with my divorce. I'm logging on again because my 19 yr old daughter is an addict and am looking for the appropriate forum. I apologize too, as I've forgotten some of the proper protocol and use of the forums.

Hi, Doc John'
I just found out My Husband of 30 years has Passive Aggressive Syndrome. I have BPD.
I can't really find info on Passive Aggressive Syndrome, could you please help me out with any links, books etc?
Maybe I am not searching in the right places. BPD is under personality Disorders, but where do I find passive aggressive syndrome?
Any help would be greatly appreciated.
Also is their medications to help passive aggressive syndrome?
Thanks in advance!

I'm in a kind of a strange place, I have been diagnosed with BPD and am married to a person with Aspergers Syndrome. Ummmmmm HELP????

i am not one hundred percent sure how this forum works technically so if the wrong word lands up on the wrong line please excuse me. i firstly want to say that you are certainly not the only person in a relationship with someone who suffers from depression. as many people as there are in the world who suffer with depression, there are those plus several who have close dealings with them and all those in the person's life feel the same sort of hurt, frustration and pain you experience. i too am one of those people as my husband has been suffering from depression for most of my married life and i have a 16 year old daughter who also suffers from depression. there is just one piece of advice that i can offer you. it is rather profound and hard to intergrade but once it is in your heart, your life will be so much easier. recognize the depression as any illness. it is really like diabeties-it flares up when you least want it to and it is totally unpredictable but it is not personal. if your spouse were having a heart attack you would not be insulted that he was unable to take you out to a movie. having a "depression attack" is no different. people do not want to be depressed. people do not want to be dependent. the ill person is ill and there is no choice about it. that is not to say that you are not entitled to be considered, but be sympathetic. anyway...i have to go...good luck and as the late michael jackson used to say..."you are not alone"!

Hi, this is my first post. I am in a relationship with a boyfriend who has been diagnosed with PTSD due to traumatic experiences in Vietman while he was serving in the military. However, from some of the life events he has shared, I now feel it is more than Vietnam. It must go back to childhood and his ability to cope well with interpersonal relationships. I have not brought this up to him, and wonder what the best language is. ?? I am certain after perusing your site and many others, that he is suffering from PTSD and/or BPD. He is in his 4th year of sobriety with the help of AA. I notice that he applies techniques to help him subdue his emotions/anger/frustrations. He becomes very quiet and then goes to lay down and rest, which is good; however, at first it was difficult for me to grasp. We have only known each other 3 months, but he became overly "SERIOUS" and in love with me after only 3 weeks. I enjoyed that part of course, but now I realize it was because of his disorder. All the symptoms of BPD are present. I want him to know that I am trying to understand, and that I am willing to communicate with him; however, I don't know the best way to begin this conversation. I don't want to "accuse" him of anything...he is a lovely gentleman, and very caring; plus he is trying very hard, but I can see that the issue of non-communication will drown this relationship over time. I also saw the book, "Walking on Eggshells," on his book shelf which I think his former wife probably utilized. I love him and want to help, but then again, I might just make matters worse, not sure. I would greatly appreciate any suggestions and/or advice in this serious matter. Thank you.

Wow do I need this. What about a an ex-wife of a recently deceased NPD who left a mess behind along with an NPD son who is wreaking havoc? My life story. I am in so much pain so much of the time.

Oh yeah and an NPD mother in law for 25 years who often made my life hell PLUS a few of my ex's siblings. What a mess.

Good news: Two of my kids are okay. They seem healthy. They still love me no matter what the crazies are saying. It's going to be okay, I think.

Hi, I'm new to this website. I'm here due to my partner who suffers from depression. We have been together 3 years, but I really don't know what to do at all.

Hi Kimber1
My husband suffers with depression but couldn't say the word (17 yrs & counting) until recently. He's taken us to hell between this, A.D.D. & using these conditions now as excuses for bad behavior.
It is hard. I empathize with you completely.

Take care of you first. Talk about it if that is possible. Your partner may be relieved that you want to help.

libea~
Aw! Thanks for the song by Michael J to put in my head. Now I can go to sleep....

Hi DocJohn ~ My ADD/Depressed partner refuses to get help, & wants to stay in the same unhealthy, destructive loop our marriage has always been in.
I am the accommodating one here & it has set us on a course that feeds into itself like a mother eating its' young.
The good news is I can see it for what it is now, where as before I only struggled on in the wake of broken promises/manipulation & misdirection, not knowing what was going on.

I feel only despair, as he takes us down, emotionally, spiritually, financially.

My cleanup crew mentality has ended with my own post traumatic headache syndrome that is a never ending, mind numbing pain in my head.

He is visibly afraid as he sees he will have to step up & be responsible for his own behavior/mistakes. I can't fix them anymore.

I live in fear of what the future will bring. I need a little encouragement. Today is not one of my good days. Is there a kind word out there...?

what was I thinking? I guess no one understands

Hello? Is this thing on?

I am as strong as I need to be. I will stay true to myself, true to my faith. If my partner chooses to destroy a perfectly good union, I cannot stop that destruction anymore. It is not my wish, and not what I wanted for my life & future. But I will survive. Sadly, but surely, I will.
I am notanymore.

Hello, my husband has Tourette's. I am here for social support and ideas for copping with such.

Hi Dr. John! My partner has bipolar disoder and borderline personality disorder (I myself have been diagnosed bipolar 2 ) anyway what I was looking for was a little info on borderline because neither one of us really understands this diagnosis and she is currently in an inpatient facility and is attempting to get help so how do I help keep the ball rolling forward for her when she comes home?

Hi, i just joined & I'm feeling really frustrated about my husbands bipolar disorder. I'm starting to believe my husband is right & that i will never understand his disorder. I almost don't want to understand anymore, but i still love him. I know i don't have the right attitude about how things are going & i just have an overwhelming feeling to get away. Things have went down hill again & my husband has shut me out again. This means we are not communicating & it's killing me inside. Please help before i make an incredibly stupid spure of the moment desicion that I'll surely regret later.