[Blakeney]

I am a long-time victim of spousal emtional and verbal abuse. I wish that I knew the cause of the abuse. Is it bi-polar, or is it a mental illness? I will say.....his mother and a couple of brothers had the same traits. If he does not understand a question, he becomes angry and blames me. His temper is very fragile, and any small thing, real or imagined, can ignite it. At that point, he accuses me of imaginary circumstances (and then I become depressed! He relies on me for help in resolving problems with business or personal situations; yet, he hides his wallet, and on many of our assets has them designated as pay-on-death, or transfer-on-death. I also worked most of our marriage, contributing to the costs of home and family. Because he has such a disagreeable attitude, both my adult sons fear his temper. I am very flexible, have many friends......all who are interesting, and more important.....honorable. This man is considered very intelligent, however, regretfully, no one has ever told me that he is a nice person. If I could onlly define the root of the problem, perhaps I would know where, or how, to help resolve it.

[StrongerMan]

Hi Blakeney, sorry to hear about your situation. Please read up on 1. Narcissistic Personality Disorder and 2. controlling people. See if anything rings a bell. Then read about how to cope with these people. I wish you the best of luck and please keep posting on PC as this is the go-to place for an empathic response to your problem. Sorry I did not see your post sooner.