[BPDLover]

Hi there! I realize that there may be a lot of defensiveness regarding armchair diagnosis.. and while I'm not a physician or psychiatrist, I am an emotional therapist.

The man I love has BPD, I suspected from the start and over time his behaviour and my research has confirmed it, to me at least.

We broke up again this weekend. Not because either of us wanted to, but because he was having an episode and in terror I fled. He has asked me to come back and expresses the desire to work through things. I love him with all my heart.

Does anyone have some advice on how I can bring the idea that he could have bpd up to him so that he can learn about himself and we can work together on coping with it? I do not want him to feel like I am attacking or telling him he is fundamentally wrong or bad. But the fact is that he lives in a different world than I do, a volatile one and he has punished me for his emotions to the point where I fear I cannot go back to him, as much as I want to more than anything except wanting the bad treatment to stop.

Thanks
M

The way I discovered BPD was someone texting me a website with the 9 traits with something akin to "What do you think?" When I read the traits I instantly knew though it took another six months to get out of the denial stage I have since been diagnosed. It seems a cold way to approach the subject, but if he's prone to violence, why not? Send a text or email saying that you came across this and what does he think. Don't make it sound like you've suspected for a while because it might make him paranoid or suspicious, and see how he responds.