Help for a friend-everything is "not her fault" and everyone does things "on purpose"

Hi, I have a long time friend who I have always known has a major personality disorder. She has never gone to the doctor about it but basically I have always figured she was bipolar or had a personality disorder. Sometimes she'll be calm, the nicest person possible, then other times she will yell and throw the hugest fits. One thing I have noticed is that whatever she has done to other people, whatever trouble she has caused, she is always exclaiming in all caps "ITS NOT MY FAULT" and that whoever else that ever did something wrong to her, even clearly on accident, did it "ON PURPOSE!" She also feels the need to always type in all caps when she is upset. I thought more about it lately when my girlfriend met another girl who to my surprise acted almost exactly the same way! Like her, she couldn't drive and had difficulty holding down a job or getting away from mom and dad till very late in life. And evidently everything was not her fault and done to her on purpose as well. And she told my girlfriend she was Schizophrenic as well. So, that made me wonder if my friend was Schizophrenic, or bipolar, or what. Sorry to go into such detail if it's pointless but I guess I was hoping these symptoms were more common than I thought and that there might actually be some clear idea of what she had because of it. Thank you.

Hi! We aren't professionals who can diagnose, but to be schizophrenic, I would think she would have to be more out of touch with reality sometimes, such as hearing voices that aren't really real. She does sound like she might qualify for some sort of personality disorder. Again, though, even a professional would need more information.

I'm just wondering--how would you behave any differently toward her if you knew for sure she had a mental disorder? I know as a friend you want to try to understand and help her.

You might want to read about the different personality disorders and see what seems to ring most true. Definitely sounds like some paranoia in there, anyway.

Is there any way at all she could be persuaded to see a therapist? (That was probably a dumb question!)

That is so true!

OP, you may think about what you will get out of this exercise. How will it help you? Payne1 suggested it too, I guess...

Maybe think of practical outcomes.

For instance, typing in ALLCAPS is completely unacceptable, period. Since the early Usenet of the 1990s, typing in ALLCAPS has been the equivalent of yelling, which is not acceptable. So if she ever types a message in ALLCAPS, ask her to never do so again.

You cannot change her thought processes, but you can protect yourself from her yelling.

Sorry, I did not see the title of the thread. So you want to be helpful to her? If you stop trying to label her with the labels whose meanings you do not understand at all, that alone would be hugely helpful. Just treat her as a human being and if she does something to you personally that you do not want repeated, tell her or write to her asking to abstain from similar actions in the future. Your not labeling her and her not hurting you would work in concert to improve the relationship for both of you.