[ScarletRomans]

In 2011, after a divorce the year before, my mom remarried to a man named Rick and him and his eldest daughter, Christina, moved into the house with myself, my younger brother, and my mom. Christina is currently 15 and has been diagnosed with BPD within the past 6 months. In early 2012, she was starting to throw temper tantrums and starting fights with her father, swearing at him, yelling, hitting, and she was eventually sent to a mental hospital where she was put on medication. She was diagnosed as bipolar, depressed, and suffering from severe anxiety. Things were okay when she return, but a few months later, she started up with the attitude, and the tantrums, and on a couple occasions, she kicked holes in the walls. This behavior continued and my parents could do nothing to stop it, even with a couple calls to the police, regular therapy, and visits with a psychiatrist. Earlier this year, she was diagnosed with BPD and the symptoms fit her to a tee.
When I first met her, we got along great, but once moving into the house, she became slightly clingy so I started pushing away a little. When she was first diagnosed, she then felt the need to try to bring me back close to her, becoming very clingy and telling me all of her problems. Not only that, but she felt the constant need to talk to me, annoy me, and just bug me at all times. This then caused me to push her away more, and, as theorized by my parents, a reason she will love or hate me; because I push her away because of clinginess, she dislikes me for little things, and then she will try to bring me back by trying to be my best friend and always hang around me, which then causes me to push away more.
I understand she is mentally ill, and some may say to "give her a chance", but I strongly dislike her. She has taken my things (ex: my favorite [and slightly expensive] perfume, socks I bought with my own money [as silly as it seems, she did go into my room, took my items, something I paid for for my own personal use, then denied ever taking them], and other small items in my room), invaded my privacy (ex: leaving notes is drawers around my room and in my backpack, has read texts over my shoulder before, ect.), and completely disregards other's feelings. There's so much more, but I don't have the time to type it all up.
Whenever she throws one of her bad tantrums, where there are holes in the walls (which has happened on many occasions and my parents have to fix) or she's throwing things around or on the floor, I start to shake. I get so worked up inside because she's screaming, hitting, and making me so severely uncomfortable, I start to shake and have difficulty breathing. One evening, we were supposed to go to the store to get something for a weekend competition trip of mine and she started to throw a huge fit so I grabbe dmy shoes, wallet, keys, told my mom I was leaving for the store without my parents, and I went and had to sit in the car for a good few minutes just to get to a stable enough condition to drive. My parents, and police, have warned her that with her behavior, she will meet someone bigger and badder, and one day, someone will tell her off. After school, I was in the parking lot, my boyfriend was in the front seat and he was upset about something so he wasn't in the mood for talking. Christina came out to the car and she was to sit in front that day while my brother stayed after. She kept tugging on my boyfriend's arm, telling him to get out of her seat, and he was obviously not enjoying it. He then jumped out of the car, and in front of other people started yelling at her and cursing her out for not treating her parents or me with respect and he was just screaming in her face about how she needed to learn to respect other people, their space, and just stop treating everyone like crap. He stormed off and she got in the car. She was crying and blaming me, telling me "I made him do that because I'm too coward to". I apologized for his behavior was completely unsure why he acted that way because he's normally very reserved and calm. About a month later, after starting an argument with her dad, I was instructed not to give her a ride home the next day. So I stayed after for a meeting and didn't drive her home. When she got home later that afternoon, I was sitting outside and she came out, looked me dead in the eye, and said to me, "You're lucky I don't beat the s**t out of you" and walked back in muttering "stupid c***" (a favorite phrase to use against me when she's upset). Because of her past violent behavior, I feared for my safety and the following day went to 2 teachers I'm close to (they are also my club sponsors and are very good friends) and told them about what was going on at home. I was them escorted to my principal, told her the story and she contacted my mother to let her know what was going on). The following day, while waiting for therapy to start, she became angry, threatened to hit my mom and her dad, and the cops were called. She was put into a hospital. For the next month, she absolutely despised me and I did everything I could to stay away from her and avoid being in rooms alone with her. About a month after talking to my teachers, she said something about hating me in front of my parents so they asked why. Of course for the past month she would only say to me and my brother "you know why". I assumed it was the one day I didn't give her a ride home. She then told my parents it was because I didn't apologize for my boyfriend's behavior that afternoon. BUT! Not only did I apologize immediately, I went to his house and talked with him, told him what he did was wrong, and he apologized the next day to her face. She had to reason to be upset with me. We are still unsure of the truth.
In the weeks following that incident, she was attending a day school that involved group sessions and therapy. It was around those 2 weeks that she became annoying again, bugging me, pestering me, always needing to be around me. I can't stand the stress she puts into my life. One evening, she was stepping on the backs of my shoes and blocking my path constantly while we were out. After I asked, told, commanded she stop, my parents did the same. In the parking lot, my step-dad bumped stepped on her shoe and she became very upset. She refused to buckle her seat belt so we parked the truck and in the dark, at 9 at night, on a Saturday, we walked a mile and a half home. When my parents left to get the truck, she said "Don't think I will ever listen to you. I don't have to do a thing you say. I live every single day of my life to annoy you. I will never stop annoying you."
Honestly, I get so stressed from her, I don't know how I haven't cracked. She's always ion my business. She keeps asking when I'll get my prom dress, where I'll go for grad dinner, where I'm going out to, what I'm doing all the time. I usually wear jeans and tees, but with the heat I wore a dress today, and left the house with my mom while Christina was still asleep. First thing when we walked in the door: "You're wearing a dress?" I simply cannot escape her. I love foxes, so here's a picture of this fox trinket, this shirt, this thing I looked up on the internet just to show you. I'm getting a pink ballgown prom dress with sparkles (not what I imagined to like in a million years but I love it), "Pink? Why pink? Since when do you like pink? And what's with the gems? Why do you want to look so girly? You never look girly?" (swear to god this is what was said to me when I mentioned I found the dress for senior prom). I cannot get away, cannot escape, I am always her center of attention. She loves me, she hates me. She disrespects me. She's stolen from me. She asks for money. For me to take her everywhere. To get her food. She asks me questions. She tries so hard for everyone's attention.
And a year from now, when I move away to college, I will be at peace.
And when I leave, I will take these mental scars with me. Certain phrases and behaviors will break me down. I will never be able to handle things I could before her. People shouting will make me very, very uneasy and fear for the safety of objects and people all around me, and I will expect the worst when people argue. I will never be able to handle the "why?" stage when I have children, when then must make that the response to everything. I won't be able to have things in the house like fruit at the bottom yogurt and cheese balls, the snacks she's always eating. When people will jokingly swipe things away that I'm reaching for, I will get angry. I cannot handle little things because they remind me of her.
I'm not sure what to do. I'm looking for help, or advice, or just some guidance. Other people who live with people with BPD, or people with BPD that can help me understand this more. I just need something.

[Yeehaw_!]

I have a 16 year old daughter with BPD. The one saving grace about the 16 year old is that she has some self-awareness. She knows when she's being ridiculous and mean and she will often apologize afterwards. My 14 year old has learned to ignore her. She has my permission to diminish exposure to the crazy. The scars are present, though