[pamelasu]

Every since my father was in his accident that made him disabled for life, I have had to take care of not only him but my younger sister as well. My mother had to go to work because being in a family of five and having a disabled husband with medical bills that cost over a hundred thousand dolllars she needed to work. So I've been taking care of my family for 15 years and now I am almost 23 years old, I am tired and wore out from taking care of everything.

The more recent stuff that has been going on is that I've been going to therapy to help me to break away from my family and to move on with my life. Though my younger sister keeps dragging me back into the middle of her problems. She had a suicidal thought a while back and now I am responsible for taking care of her again. Now my older sister just got out of the hospital from having a seizure and now I am going to have to take care of her as well because she's still not all together. I really just want to break away from my family and make them all grow up. It's too hard for me to take care of them all like this. I shouldn't have to either.

[eskielover]

I would definitely suggest that you keep up with the therapy you are going to. Maybe you could talk with your therapist about setting up some specific steps for you to take a bit at a time. As you accomplish each step, it will help you feel a step after step closer to your freedom. It's not your job the rest of your life to care for your family. You are right.......they need to grow up.

You can't continue being responsible for everything that is going on with your family.....that is way more than any 23 year old can possibly handle especially with the issues you are having to deal with. Your whole family needs to be in the process of freeing you up. You have been in charge for so long, they need to learn how to let go too.....just like you need to learn how to break away.

I would suggest that your therapist set up family sessions so that your whole family can get into the process of giving you your own life back. If your whole family is involved in the process, nothig will come as a surprise to them & they can learn how to help & know what they need to do also to give you your life back.

You deserve to have your own life after all these years. I wish you the strength to get there,
Debbie

[JustAPixie]

(((((((((((((( pamelasu )))))))))))))))

[(JD)]

You can break free, and for your own good, you should, imo. The healthier you become, you'll realize how sick they are...and how they use you. Family dynamics are what keep you there...and feeling guilty for not doing everything! Once you are able to realize that they will use whomever is willing to be used, it might be easier to break away.

Perhaps you can find the agencies available to assist your family, in your absence, and leave that info on the table for them to contact . You don't have to take care of everyone. It is your choice. Good wishes.

[_skylin_]

(((((((HUGS))))))))
truly, youv ben givn grate advise. i say DITTO. look for agencys that will give yor famly the extended support thay obveusly need, look at therpists for yor sis, and THEN look towward YOUR OWN healing and life.
and rmembr, we are heer for you! come bak and get the encuragment you will need to take thos steps.
let us no how you are doing. thinkin of ya!
sara

[pamelasu]

Both of my sisters already have therapist, it's my mom that I need to worry about. She keeps going over the edge making herself depressed. I totally understand her feelings and everything because in a way she is in the same situation as I am, taking care of others. It's not an easy task to be away from the people you have taken care of for so many years. I feel like she is the one that needs the therapy more than any of us because she is worse than my two sisters and me all put together. There isn't anything I can do for her because it is up to her to seek the help that she needs. I just wish that she would realize what she absolutely needs in her life.

[Rhapsody]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
pamelasu said:
Both of my sisters already have therapist, it's my mom that I need to worry about. She keeps going over the edge making herself depressed.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Some times one does not seek to be depressed - it just finds us and then we have a very deep hole to dig our self and our wounded mind out of..... we fall in after it is to late and we did not even see the sink-hole.


LoVe,
Rhapsody - ((( hugs )))