[onebeachblonde]

I'm a single mom going through a very nasty divorce. I have a 16 yr old daughter who was suicidal in the past. (but you never seem to quite worrying about that). She was also cutting (seriously). She has been diagnosed w/ ADHD, PTSD and bioplar, plus she is dyslexic. She has been through a lot in her short life, but I am at my wit's end. She was hospitalized for a week for depression. We have tried several different medications from anti-depressants to mood altering drugs over the past 3 years, but nothing seems to help. I feel like I'm losing the battle but I love her too much to give up on her even though I think it's starting to effect my health from all the stress. My doctor says I'm on the verge of a stroke or nervous breakdown myself. Anyone have any suggestions to help me get through to her and keep from losing my mind. My doctor gave me Xanax, but I don't want to depend on that. Now she has turned to alcohol to "forget her problems for a little while". I have told her that there is nothing she can do to make me stop loving or supporting her, but it doesn't seem to be enough. I can't be the only parent who has gone through this. Any suggestions?

[(JD)]

Welcome to PC. It does sound like you are having a tough time coping. I know it is difficult with anyone with PTSD "only" and there is more than that.

What does her psychologist say? PTSD doesn't heal on it's own. It's a beast of a disorder A good cognitive behavior therapist could help, perhaps?

What does YOUR therapist suggest for you? Why not take the medicine? Why not depend upon it for what it's there for? Once things settle down, and you are able to also, then you can revisit whether you still need the medicine or not.

She hasn't turned to alcohol to make you stop loving her. I 'm not sure where that came in. Learning to handle stress is a lifelong chore, I think, and you probably need an expert to help you both get through this. Good wishes.

[Rhapsody]

((((((( HUGS ))))))) ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ((((((( HUGS )))))))

Might I suggest some real inner work (counseling) for your daughter and the issues that haunt her.... in time I would also like to suggest that the family get involved in some good old fashion family counseling with openness - honesty & a large amount of unconditional love and acceptance - of ALL.


LoVe,
Rhapsody -

[atmywitsend]

I too have a 16 year old daughter. She is bipolor also and we still haven't found the "right" meds for her. I'm up late tonight because she mentioned that I might want to hide the knives tonight. She has tried to commit suicide before (pills) -more of a test to see my reaction than anything else - she took small amounts not enough to actually overdose but enough to scare. I have no answers for you - I am in the same boat. And it feels like it's sinking. All I can say is hang in there, keep the booze and drugs out of her sight - my daughter says the same thing - "just want to escape for awhile" - and pray for strengh and wisdom. Fortunately I just found this site tonight and your post made me want to sign up - so here I am. I'm with you.

[(JD)]

( Bipolar disorder takes a huge amount of patience and stick-to-it-tiveness... good wishes and welcome to PC!)

[Pandama]

"I can't be the only parent who has gone through this. Any suggestions? "

Sometimes I used to WISH that I were the only one, but the tragedy of all this, is that we are just a few out of thousands , trying to cope with this nightmare on a daily basis - for years on end.

On the otherhand, the factor that keeps ME going and that can sometimes tip the balance between struggling on and giving in is the support and advice from other mothers (and Dads too, I suppose? It just seems to be more the mums that reach out for help ) on this and other similar forums. I have been dealing with my daughter's problems and their effect on me for the best part of fifteen years, but it was only recently that I started tapping into these sites.They have been lifelines for me.

I don't have a great deal of actual advice or suggestions, but just knowing that you are not alone and that there is somewhere that you can let off steam occasionally and that there are people that you can connect with who KNOW what you are going through, who will NOT blame you nor suggest "quick fixes" or platitudes can help enormously.

How do we cope ? I don't know, but we do. These dreadful mental disorders damage our relationships with our kids but I don't believe they ever destroy our love for them. And each day that you survive and cope makes you a little stronger.

There are tips and hints aplenty on this and similar sites. There is a heap of clear, sensible and practical medical information (which is NOT so easy to find around the traps) and although it may not CHANGE anything quickly, or at all, it certainly helps. If you know exactly what you are dealing with then that is helpful.

It is terribly difficult, but you will find the strength to cope for as long as you have to. (and give yourself "permission" to have some "not coping" days. We deserve it !)

Best wishes from a newcomer to this forum but a veteran mum.