Do I have narcissistic parents?

Hey all,

I've been looking up information on narcissistic parents and I couldn't help but wonder if my own parents are narcissists in some way or another. (Or maybe I'm just an asshole?) I'd like to know what some of you think. (Sorry if this is a bit long.)

Here are some of my observations: my dad will talk a lot about things that concern him but will rarely ask about me or what I'm thinking and feeling. Most of our conversations are one-sided and involve me listening to him talk about what he did that day, his feelings on whatever things he's experiencing as well as telling me about his friends as if I know them. (Some I do, some I don't.) I don't like watching TV, but whenever I'm in the room with him and he's watching it he'll always comment on what's on as if I'm paying attention. (I'm not.) In addition, sometimes when I'm riding with him and I'm sleeping (or trying to sleep) in the passenger's seat he'll start talking! Worse, sometimes I'll have my headphones on listening to music and he'll still talk! I never call him on this because it would probably upset him, and if I ever do I'll do it half-jokingly so I don't sound like a critical asshole. One time, I left my laptop for a second to use the bathroom and I came back down to see him using it. I let him finish what he was doing and then I politely told him to ask me next time if he wants to use my computer. As a result, he copped a hissy fit. (We were supposed to go out to dinner that night, but after I said what I said he got upset and suddenly "didn't feel like going out". I was able to talk him back into it.) One of the things he said was he didn't like other people telling him what to do in his own house.

My mom would come home from work every day with something to complain about, and she would go at length about the crap that goes on at her office. One time I asked her if anything good happened in her day and she criticized me and told me that I was not letting her express herself. She said the same thing during another incident: my grandmother and I were sitting quietly in the kitchen listening to soft music, and my mother comes out shouting, "Hey, family! We're gonna have a great day today! We're gonna go out and have fun and" this that and the other. I asked her to tone down the joy a bit (I don't remember telling her directly that she threw off the vibe but I'm sure I implied it), and she got upset. It was common for us to have loud, hostile arguments over little things. One time, for some reason or another, I told her she was acting "*****y" and she got mad. I tried to explain to her why I said that but all she wanted was my apology and she didn't care about anything else. (That was another common thing: after all of our arguments, I was always the one to apologize. Otherwise she would just sulk and not talk to me or say as few words as possible to me.) I kept trying to explain and she only focused on the fact that I called her *****y, and she basically said, "Well, if you're gonna be that way, I'm not gonna talk to you." I lost it. I ended up pushing her as hard as I could and she hit her TV, knocking it over. Part of me genuinely regrets doing that, but that was years of anger and repressed emotions released in one brief moment. In truth, it felt great, but still, that was my mother and the one person I've ever been really close to. The arguments became so common that I moved back with my dad just to avoid it (my parents were separated), and I vowed never to go back. (I have no reason to anymore now that my mother's dead.)

My parents and I have had some good moments, but I tend to remember the bad moments more. Again, re-reading what I wrote I don't know whether my parents were the ones with issues or it was me all along. What do you think?