[GreyGeist]

So essentially this is the situation. I'm in a relationship with a very beautiful women and love her deeply she's diagnosed with Manic depressive, Social Anxiety and Dissociations. Though lately she's been having lots of emotional trouble partially due to her bipolar and partially due to emotional stress from work and school and the daily grind in general. She's unable to think straight, self loathing and exhausted. Because of this she's been believing she's worthless and that feeds the negative thoughts in her head. I do my best to lessen the load by keeping the house clean, cooking and being an shoulder to cry on. I try give reassurance by telling her how much I love her and how special to me she is, I mean she tries so hard to be helpful to all those around her and to please them. She's usually very understanding and kind towards anyone in need, so it breaks my heart seeing her suffer so much. She had a rough time in previous relationships to the point of emotional abuse and possibly physical which reinforced these negative emotions. Now that she's feeling so stressed out they are plaguing her more and rationals it by saying its what she deserves. I want to help her so much but I feel like I'm out of my depth honestly. We've been through so much and I know we can work together to stabilize the situation but without real counselling and a therapist willing to go into the issues with her (she has one but they don't really talk about what she wants to talk about or it gets side lined to another topic) the cycle will just repeat for her. I know she has bipolar and she'll have her ups and downs again but its my belief if the emotional issues are resolved or at least talked about then she'll have an easier time. Anyway thats whats up I'm not even sure what I'm asking honestly... I guess better ways for myself to be supportive of her or any helpful info would be appreciated. Oh and I guess any anti burnout tips if possible.

Side note nice to meet all of you =)

[Thorn Bird]

Originally Posted by GreyGeist

So essentially this is the situation. I'm in a relationship with a very beautiful women and love her deeply she's diagnosed with Manic depressive, Social Anxiety and Dissociations. Though lately she's been having lots of emotional trouble partially due to her bipolar and partially due to emotional stress from work and school and the daily grind in general. She's unable to think straight, self loathing and exhausted. Because of this she's been believing she's worthless and that feeds the negative thoughts in her head. I do my best to lessen the load by keeping the house clean, cooking and being an shoulder to cry on. I try give reassurance by telling her how much I love her and how special to me she is, I mean she tries so hard to be helpful to all those around her and to please them. She's usually very understanding and kind towards anyone in need, so it breaks my heart seeing her suffer so much. She had a rough time in previous relationships to the point of emotional abuse and possibly physical which reinforced these negative emotions. Now that she's feeling so stressed out they are plaguing her more and rationals it by saying its what she deserves. I want to help her so much but I feel like I'm out of my depth honestly. We've been through so much and I know we can work together to stabilize the situation but without real counselling and a therapist willing to go into the issues with her (she has one but they don't really talk about what she wants to talk about or it gets side lined to another topic) the cycle will just repeat for her. I know she has bipolar and she'll have her ups and downs again but its my belief if the emotional issues are resolved or at least talked about then she'll have an easier time. Anyway thats whats up I'm not even sure what I'm asking honestly... I guess better ways for myself to be supportive of her or any helpful info would be appreciated. Oh and I guess any anti burnout tips if possible.

Side note nice to meet all of you =)

Bipolar or manic-depression is't really a personality disorder - It is a clinical chemical imbalance. She needs something like Lithium carbonate which is a mood stabiliser and then yes. I agree some CBT to work with her coping abilities etc. and lots of love and support which you obviously give her

[GreyGeist]

Originally Posted by Thorn Bird

Bipolar or manic-depression is't really a personality disorder - It is a clinical chemical imbalance. She needs something like Lithium carbonate which is a mood stabiliser and then yes. I agree some CBT to work with her coping abilities etc. and lots of love and support which you obviously give her

She's on lithium and for the most part it helps stabilize her. But when she gets triggered by something such as a daunting task she falls apart. A few nights ago she broke down from the stress and started crying (something I didn't notice immediately) and so I asked her if she wanted to talk about, which the reply was a no. I was exhausted that day and replied with "I guess I'm tired of asking anyway". I realized how utterly stupid a response like that was considering all the things she's going through which only made the situation much worse. We did talk it out later that day and I make up. But something I've noticed is when I ask about her feelings that only really makes it worse since she clams up and starts to self loath more. It's gotten to the point where she started to cut a little something she hasn't done in quite sometime (but she did sterilize it something we worked on in the past) and I'm worried she'll go back to harmful coping methods. I know I ultimately can't help with her inner conflicts and self esteem issues beyond provide an open environment with support and love but it doesn't seem enough. I try my best to take care of her and her house, and I admit I was being quiet when she had the break down because past encounters that seemed to work but now it seems to just make her think I don't care which isn't true. I'm at a lose on what to do, if we talk it hurts, if we don't it hurts. Maybe I'm just over thinking this too much... but I worry about her.

[Thorn Bird]

Originally Posted by GreyGeist

She's on lithium and for the most part it helps stabilize her. But when she gets triggered by something such as a daunting task she falls apart. A few nights ago she broke down from the stress and started crying (something I didn't notice immediately) and so I asked her if she wanted to talk about, which the reply was a no. I was exhausted that day and replied with "I guess I'm tired of asking anyway". I realized how utterly stupid a response like that was considering all the things she's going through which only made the situation much worse. We did talk it out later that day and I make up. But something I've noticed is when I ask about her feelings that only really makes it worse since she clams up and starts to self loath more. It's gotten to the point where she started to cut a little something she hasn't done in quite sometime (but she did sterilize it something we worked on in the past) and I'm worried she'll go back to harmful coping methods. I know I ultimately can't help with her inner conflicts and self esteem issues beyond provide an open environment with support and love but it doesn't seem enough. I try my best to take care of her and her house, and I admit I was being quiet when she had the break down because past encounters that seemed to work but now it seems to just make her think I don't care which isn't true. I'm at a lose on what to do, if we talk it hurts, if we don't it hurts. Maybe I'm just over thinking this too much... but I worry about her.

The lithium should help stabilise the extreme mood swings but yes she still will feel unable to cope with stress etc. I think you sound lovely and just what she needs. keep up the TLC make sure her lithium levels are checked regularly and give her lots of encouragement but don't push too hard and then the pressure will feel less to her and good luck as long as you really love her I am sure things will be fine