[unsure35]

I don't mean to offend anyone with bpd so if I do I'm sorry. I just want to know how feasible it is to date someone with bpd. I work with someone who has bpd and I really like her and I think she likes me to. The problem is she invites me to do things with her and then always cancels.She invited me to a baseball game but then canceled an hour later but then she posted on Facebook that she went to the game anyway. She sometimes sends me a text asking how I'm doing but then she never responds. I sometimes send her a text but then she gives me a excuse that her phone isn't working.I know one of the symptoms of bpd is the fear of abandonment but I'm getting a little tired of this. It almost seems like she is playing games with me. I just want some advice on how to deal with this.

[waiting4]

Hey unsure35....not sure how to help you because that does seem to be a rather confusing situation. From my standpoint (and I have BPD) I can understand her inviting and then cancelling--I've done that myself, but it's more about suddenly not able to handle crowds or just the intensity of emotions--but that she went anyway, just not with you is odd. Texting, and then not responding after you answer is odd as well. I don't know that it's a BPD issue, actually.

Maybe you should just ask her in person and let her know if she'd not into you, to just let you know cause the mixed signals are doing no one any good.

I wish I could be of more help, but this one is confusing for me as well.

Originally Posted by unsure35

I don't mean to offend anyone with bpd so if I do I'm sorry. I just want to know how feasible it is to date someone with bpd. I work with someone who has bpd and I really like her and I think she likes me to. The problem is she invites me to do things with her and then always cancels.She invited me to a baseball game but then canceled an hour later but then she posted on Facebook that she went to the game anyway. She sometimes sends me a text asking how I'm doing but then she never responds. I sometimes send her a text but then she gives me a excuse that her phone isn't working.I know one of the symptoms of bpd is the fear of abandonment but I'm getting a little tired of this. It almost seems like she is playing games with me. I just want some advice on how to deal with this.

Umm first thing to do is decide if these things she has done are acceptable to you. Regardless of the cause that's the important thing, not whether or not they are caused by a trait of any kind of MI or personality disorder. Does it really matter?

Seems to me the fact that you know she has BPD has you already questioning her motives and behavior and it's clouding your vision and ability to be unbiased in your judgement of her actions.

Take the behaviors alone and try to decide whether this is someone you want to date and forget about the reasons behind it, if you did not know she had BPD would you be viewing this behavior in the same light, would you date someone that has acted this way in lieu of that information about her disorder? That's the ONLY thing that should weigh on your decision

Your question as to whether it is feasible to date a person with bpd only serves to lump all people with bpd into a group. There is no general answer to whether it's ok to date someone with bpd or not, or any other MI for that matter. We are all individuals and we all have challenges, bad and good behaviors and this, both non and afflicted people with regards to DX'd MIs.