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#1
Dec 17, 2014, 07:36 PM
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Hello,
So I've been with my boyfriend for about a year and he suffers from depression. I have come to see the signs when he's at a low point, and have stopped taking it personally myself when he gets distant and quiet. But at the same time I don't want to just ignore the fact that he is depressed. Is it best to try to insert yourself into a depressed persons life when they try to avoid and or push away? I am never sure if that is what is best for him. I try to keep my distance thinking that maybe he needs his space, but then I wonder if what he really needs is for me to just simply be there even if he doesn't necessarily invite me to be. I hope this makes sense lol. Like texting for example (as he lives about an hour away, so it's not always possible for me to just be at his doorstep). When he doesn't initiate a texting conversation for a few days, or reply to all of my texts, what do I do? Do I give him his space? Or do I try to insert myself anyways? I'm just not sure what the best rout is. If anyone has any advice please let me know 
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#2
Dec 17, 2014, 09:19 PM
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Welcome Arnie to Psych central! Sorry to here you are feeling so low about your relationship.
Lots of forums to check out http://forums.psychcentral.com and articles http://forums.psychcentral.com Hope you meet nice people as I have.
__________________
Super Moderator Community Support Team "Things Take Time" |
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#3
Dec 27, 2014, 05:23 PM
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I'll give you some advice that I wish someone had given me a long time ago! My ex also suffered from depression and he always told me that just having me there (in person or through text) was a big help to him. I often offered my support (a hug, a movie, etc), but found that he often wanted space. He would push me away and even said some hurtful things at his worst. I tried to make him happy, although it took me a long time to realize it wasn't personal and that he had to want to get better. I'll tell you that taking care of yourself and your own interests at this time is crucial! This is something I didn't do and now regret because I totally burnt out. Just tell him you're there when he needs you and having an open conversation about what he wants/expects from you will definitely help!
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 arnie91
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