[Needsmet]

I should start by saying that I have Avoidance. My mom and brother also probably have Avoidance. My daughter also has Avoidance. She is 11. I am 54, so I am not sure what Avoidance looked like at this age.

All her symptoms seem to fit with Avoidance. But there are differences that I am not sure about. I also notice things in her that are scaring me.

She thinks she is stupid. She thinks she cant do anything right. She thinks that life is not worth living.

She think she has to be perfect. A lot of this is coming from, or at least playing out, in school. Right now, she goes to public school. She has a friend there her age. But this friend calls her stupid. This person calls her a jerk.

This friend is very jealous and if my daughter tries to be with any of her other friends, this person will throw a fit and its my daughter that somehow gets in trouble because of it.

Other kids in the school think its my daughters fault and she must have been the one to make the other girl angry.

In true Avoidant fashion, my daughter is trying to make everyone happy and cannot. She takes the weight of everyone's problems on her and its hurting her.

I fear that as she becomes a teenager, its just going to get worse. We are planning on putting her into a private school. Our daughter is looking forward to the private school in the hopes that the fresh start with new friend will help.

I am at a loss to know how to help my daughter. My way of dealing with kids at her age was to avoid them all together. I was a loner in school and had no friends.

Anyone have any suggestions or ideas?

[kaliope]

i think it would be a good idea to get your daughter into counseling. it appears that she needs to work on her self esteem. help her recognize the good in herself and emphasize her strenghts. teach her to focus on her strenghts every time she says something that belittles herself.