[thomasfraney]

I always believed to be an intelligent, mostly professional guy with a great heart and decent look. I was born Autistic which my obscure behavior started, as an empath I guess with some sociopathic tendencies. I had some not too healthy relationships, but I am focusing on my latest friendship / wishful relationship as this one has found my deep love inside of me and destroyed it slowly. Facts about me, I am a software Engineer who suffered some trouble with DWI and taking care of my family (if helps).
I met the guy, casually, on a social site called tagged back in 2013. I was in the middle of considering to break my relationship with my ex-fiance at the time. He was certainly in my type, Asian/Indian , yet american born, cute, and actually friendly. Unlike most stories there was not any crazy love-bombing as I am use to, but a fast connection that I found my type that actually responded positively to me. We chatted a a lot, a shared that we both are attracted, and quickly quickly he asked to talk on phone.We hit it off well, as shared our ideas, hobbies, fears, and issues (like his roommate issues). The confusion started some on rather he liked me as a friend, FWB, or more. I worked with him and we grew closer in a bond, but still hesitance.
There were times I sent money to keep his phone on.
fast forward, We got into an argument that he thought I was over-bearing when he backed-away without reason, before Valentines he message me saying he found his lover to be with on that day, crushed me but I moved on.
Summer of 2014 I reconnected him to see if he was okay , and he was alone, jobless, and depressed, he barely remembered but finally started talking. This is when we really bonded. We talked and I felt deep connection I never felt, He used to compliment as well, about my sweetness, occasionally my looks, and other things. He had deep crying sessions where I took care of him, I payed some of his bills, had food delivered to him, watch movies with him, and anything he wanted. I have tried to visit him before but he kept making excuses, so my intent was to see him in person (lived 4 hours away). Then I suddenly felt his cold behavior, no longer loving, then we fight, he gave me silent treatments weeks ata time, but accuses me of being jealous of nothing. Then he tells me he is not in love, but best friends. then flip back and forth, once instance he acted as I’m his last choice “sickly” he asked me officially to be his guy, but quick to forget it as he disappeared again after I picked him up from depression and sent money. Before my Birthday and holidays he broke up totally and the first time he presented me with the worst words I never experience by someone I totally loved, that I was stupid, irritating, not worthy of love, somewhat not attraactive. I tried to reconnect to him but He Smeared me , sending nude pics of me (in which I did not know he had) to my mother, posting pics of me calling me stalker. It was a nightmare.
Months pass, and I finally got him to calm down ad talk to me. He was excited to hear my voice again, and the same routine started, but much more expensive, and much more rapid like a bipolar system. I am hurt more, but I felt closer love during movies, I told him my darkest secrets, shared opinions, Yet he goes cold. I have to send money just to get him to “unblock” and talk to me, every few weeks i get a weekend of watching movies and talking deeply. I fight to keep things going as I never felt so loved, yet so confused in my life. I get into trouble for sending so much money to him as I am suppose to support my family . Are fights were getting so bad that I strike back with insults. At the point after giving him a nice ring, that one of his boyfriends lost, or a gift of chocolates or just paying for his night out, I am met more darker insults, my family is trailer trash, I am an idiot, I am stupid, And now Unattractive and ugly. After I bought his greatest gift (#3), I treated him a night out with drinks, he kept asking, and decide to do another movie night (it’s now this month 2015). Everything was great until he confronted me about my dismay of him showing off that he had sex with a local guy. He told me he never want’s to sleep with me and I am not cute or attractive, broke my heart again after 3 years of at least a best friend level, or something. I did respond harshly after he blocked me on Whatsapp, trying to show how much I was in pain by reflecting on his insecurities (learned his weaknesses, didn’t want to though). He went silent while i cried and continue to take pain pills to curb the pain. I contacted him again to make another chance and I was met that I am not allowed to watch movies or be on voice to him and took my memory away from me as being his best friend, told me he never claim that as well as boyfriend. 3 years was … what.. I am dying with pain. All I did is love this one, my first person I really invested that much effort, despite long term domestic partnership I had before. Is this meaningful to you guys, or am I that a bad person. Am i worth only money ??"

[CANDC]

Hi thomasfraney. Welcome to Psych Central. So sorry to hear of the loss and grief you are feeling after the breakup. Be careful about sinking into depression. What therapy options have you considered?

Glad you are part of our community. There are a lot of caring people here. Besides being an active participant in helping oneself at Psych Cental, many people also help support each other by replying to other people's posts. Many people who are actively involved in Psych Central find it helps take them out of their own problems to develop empathy for others. And their problems are more manageable the more they help others.

Many people here at PC find they can share these feelings and what they are going through with the confidence that people go through similar things and can empathize. So many forums are offered as well as Chatrooms (after you have 5 posts or comments on others posts). Depression chat meets on Thursday night at 9pm EST and Anxiety Friday at 8PM.

You can also be an active member in other ways like supporting others in their questions, reading articles and posts http://forums.psychcentral.com that are applicable to your area of concern.

Please feel free to private message me or any of the Community Liaisons by left clicking on the name in blue to the left of their post) for questions or just to share.

[Ruftin]

Hello and welcome to Psych Central Thomas!!! It's nice to meet you. You have joined a community of warm and caring members who will want to offer you support and advice. Yours is welcome as well.

Please feel free to contact any community liaison or moderator by left clicking on their name in blue to the left of their post if you need help navigating the forums. It will take some time for your first five posts to appear as they are being evaluated and then you will be able to join chats.

I'm sorry for your struggles. I'm sorry you've been through so much torment with this person. You are worth much more than money. This person has not treated you right. I recommend you stay away from him. You'll find we have a safe and supportive community. I'm glad you've joined us.

I look forward to seeing you around!!!

[MissFiona]

Sending photos to your mother would be earth shattering for you and her, so it seems like you have encountered a weapon of mass destruction in this particular person. Are you able to get into any type of therapy to talk about it to them because that would be a much better way to spend your money and on a worthwhile cause too, which is you.

Warm wishes to you.