[terex123]

Hello,
Extremely concerned sister here.
My older brother has been suffering from depression since 2010 (though we only found out about it April 2014).

The story is as tragic as it gets, unfortunately. He is the most intelligent person I know, and by that I mean he was one of the youngest members of MENSA (an international society for people with high IQ) and was one of 10 international students around the world to get into Cambridge University in the UK. That is when the depression triggered. 5 years down the line, and 3 universities later he has still not managed to get through first year of uni. I can go on about the immense pressure that was on him, and how heartbroken my whole family is but there's no need. Anyways, it seems that the root of the problem is linked to the pressure of doing well academically, and it seems that he cannot face any sort of studies.

He's been off now for several months, and he has been fine (without any academic pressure). But now he is planning on going back to school in January and is expected to start preparing work now, and I can already feel him slipping. He just cannot bring himself to face studies or anything associated with it. He's been stuck in an endless cycle and I need to help him find a solution. He has been seeing a therapist and I believe he is restarting taking some meds now (he was off them for a while). He wants a degree, and I want to help him get one because noone is more capable than him. I just don't know how to help him. Any suggestions?

[spinor]

Just curious, what is he studying? What are his interests? Is he really good at anything right now?

[Mygrandjourney]

Your brother is lucky to have a sister like you; remember that!

The best you can probably do is to figure out what your limitations are regarding your ability to support him. It might include helping him study for his classes, making sure he is continuing to attend treatment while taking classes and possibly encouraging him to test the waters of school by taking a reduced courseload for a semester or two to see how he responds to the demands of school. His school should have some sort of support for him to compensate for his illness and he should see what's available. Ultimately, it will be best for him and the rest of the family if he is able to accomplish as much of this on his own as possible.

[PomegranateMeltdown]

Sounds a little like what I went through. I don't know if I'm MENSA smart, but I'm smart. I got depressed in high school, tried a lot of meds but still dropped out of college once, bummed around for a few years before trying again and nearly dropped out a second time. Then I tried cannabis, and it worked. It brought me out of my fog, I was able to finish school, and I function pretty well at my job right now despite my husband being very ill. If your brother hasn't tried it, I recommend it.

But if that's not his thing (or even if it is), I've been having good luck with The Feeling Good Handbook by David Burns. I've tried a few self-help books that were junk, but this one's based on cognitive behavioral therapy. It's got a chapter on perfectionism (something which probably afflicts your brother).

Also, make sure he knows -- from you and your parents -- that you do not judge him any more than if he had a chronic physical illness, and that whatever he wants to do with himself the family will support him and help him achieve his (realistic) goals. Bullying and type I diabetes played a role in my own depression, but my parents didn't help by putting pressure on my about my future career path.