[Peorson123]

Hello,

I don't usually write in forums but I'm feeling desperate at the moment.
My fiancée has bulimia and anorexia for 8 years. She had a traumatic experience in the past which caused the diseases. I'm with her for 2 years and she is actually the love of my life. We had a strong connection right from the start and I am the only person she told everything about her thoughts and her illness. For the first year she was really happy and she got better and better every day. We decided that we are ready to have a baby and she was feeling confident to take this step. We both made the decision, considering the risks and we both were confident and optimistic to have a child. She got pregnant very fast and I started to see some changes in her after the first gynecological visit. She looked worried and talked less with me, I started to catch her lying to me for ordinary things and after a while I learned that she has started throwing up again every day. Some days more than once. She completely stopped talking to me, she starts screaming at me every time I try to speak with her and now she wants to abort the child ( currently in 10th week ). She lost weight but she thinks the opposite. I also think that at this point abortion is necessary.
Everything happened really fast and we lost all the progress we made for 2 years. Now she does not even looks at me, doesn't talk to me and I'm lost. Don't know how to deal with it anymore. Making her go visit a doctor is out of the question, I wont be able to make her do anything. I want to know if there is something I can do to help her and maybe advice for how to deal with this myself because I'm a wreck. Everything I hoped and dreamed of disappeared, I still love her, I just don't know what to do.

[lowinmood]

sounds serious to me, sounds like she needs some sort of therpeutic support, and also, if she is continuing with her bulimia and anxeroxia whilst she is pregnant, than that is a very serious issue, If it got to the point, I'd want to be in a psych ward because that situation is not good.

[ComfortablyNumb5]

She needs professional help. And you guys need to decide asap weather or not you want this baby. I don't know the law where you are but it may or may not be too late for an abortion. I myself suffer from bulimia anorexia. I however don't have kids but besides the actual birth, I fear of getting fat while preg. Selfish? Yes. But it's part of the disease! You say she's lost weight but you have to understand that she is most likely also suffering from body dysmorphic disorder so when she looks in the mirror, she sees something completely different. I honestly can't imagine how stressful this is for you both. But like I said, she needs professional help and fast.

Dx: BP2, PTSD, bulimia/anorexia
Seroquel 150mgs
Risperdal 4mg
Trileptal 600mgs
Buspar 45mgs
Ativan 1mg PRN
Vyvance 70mgs PRN

[comethisfar]

Peorson123, I am sorry to hear about your tough situation. I have no experience with bulimia/anorexia but can relate to lying, hiding and defensive anger....Here is something you can try to have the much needed adult conversation. First, try to imagine that she has worked really hard at getting better and starting a family with you. Try to imagine that she feels terrible about her lapse, guilty about reverting into old patterns and ashamed of letting you down. Second, accept your reaction of shock, anger and worry about all this. If you can do both of those things, sit down with her and find out how she feels. Let her talk. Show her empathy for her feelings. That doesn't mean condone her actions. Just let her know you care and you understand that she must feel awful about how this is turning out. Maybe then you can tell her how worried you are for her and the baby and convince her it would be best to seek help. A clinic or hospital might be a better place given that there is physical danger to mother and child...i know you are under emotional and time pressure but in the end you can not control what she does with her body unless local laws permit you to have her committed on the grounds of carrying your child. Hoping everything turns out alright for you and your baby!