[leomama]

My partner has lied about such things as having a driver's license, graduating from a university, living in another country, living in another state. I have not broken up with him or detached from him yet for some reason. His father had told me he has lied since he was a child and that this has always baffled him. I have finally accepted that my partner is a liar. I have no idea what kind of disorder shows up in early childhood that causes a person to lie. Any ideas?

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[healingme4me]

Found these in the archives. Hope they help. It's rather frustrating to be involved with someone that keeps secrets, even lies to themselves.

http://blogs.psychcentral.com/caregi...ological-liar/

http://psychcentral.com/encyclopedia...logical-lying/

http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-ther...d-i-cant-stop/

[leomama]

Ty read the first one. Will read more tomorrow .

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Have you confronted him about his perisistant lying? What does he say in response? Does he own up to it or spin up an excuse (or more lies)?

[leomama]

Originally Posted by rainyday107

Have you confronted him about his perisistant lying? What does he say in response? Does he own up to it or spin up an excuse (or more lies)?

I have and that seems to
Have stopped him from talking about certain things (college education, travels) which is a relief.

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I had a friend who was engaged to a man that told similar lies. He told her that he had a master's degree in accounting and that he was a CPA. I'd known this man since I was a child and we were close in age. One night she and I went out to dinner and she was excited about the wedding and so impressed he was a professional, a C.P.A.

I said, no he's not. He didn't finish college. He was a bartender before he met you. He conveniently was "between jobs" and not working since they met. He was a nice dresser and very attractive. He gave off the impression he was wealthy. He'd come into an inheritance when his father died and he blew through that money in 9 months. He'd filed bankruptcy in the past and had horrible credit. He didn't care about paying bills. No sweat off his back.

She was so upset but she believed me. She went ahead and married him. He was a complete jerk to her after they married. He was unemployed 90% of the time and even lied and said he was working. He'd leave in work clothes and went gosh knows where until early evening. He is a pathological liar. Eventually she found out but she loved him and would forgive him over and over. She worked long hard hours to keep them financially afloat. After a few years she finally divorced him and moved to another country.

I know about this man and that all this is true because he is my brother.

[leomama]

Ok I'm sorry for that, sounds like you need some recovery around that. That's not my story. What are you here for?

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[Atypical_Disaster]

I don't know why people start lying like that, I was romantically involved with a liar and frankly I'm still not over that and the slew of other horrible things the woman did to me.

Originally Posted by leomama

Ok I'm sorry for that, sounds like you need some recovery around that. That's not my story. What are you here for?

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I'm fine. You asked about lying and the lies you were told reminded me of lies my brother told his wife. I thought that might be insightful to you. I won't post again. I posted to support you. That's all.

[leomama]

Originally Posted by rainyday107

I'm fine. You asked about lying and the lies you were told reminded me of lies my brother told his wife. I thought that might be insightful to you. I won't post again. I posted to support you. That's all.

Feel free to post it may help another

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[longstrangelife]

Your partner may be more than a liar, he may be a psychopath. Before you panic many psychopaths are not killers. But there are 5 or 6 personality characteristics they all to some degree. You Tube has excellent videos on how to spot a psychopath. I recommend watching a few of the 10 min ones.If I remembered the 6 traits I'd tell you but my memory isn't what it used to be. If this guy is a psychopath your only choice is to leave and never believe him again. Oh, they are also very charismatic, so if you do threaten to leave don't be surprised if he sweet talks you until you forgive him. Psychopaths don't feel empathy nor compassion. But they know what it looks like and they are experts at pretending they do. They are such great actors they can win Oscars if acting interested them.

[leomama]

Originally Posted by longstrangelife

Your partner may be more than a liar, he may be a psychopath. Before you panic many psychopaths are not killers. But there are 5 or 6 personality characteristics they all to some degree. You Tube has excellent videos on how to spot a psychopath. I recommend watching a few of the 10 min ones.If I remembered the 6 traits I'd tell you but my memory isn't what it used to be. If this guy is a psychopath your only choice is to leave and never believe him again. Oh, they are also very charismatic, so if you do threaten to leave don't be surprised if he sweet talks you until you forgive him. Psychopaths don't feel empathy nor compassion. But they know what it looks like and they are experts at pretending they do. They are such great actors they can win Oscars if acting interested them.

I already talked to my former psychiatrist about him being a psychopath and he said even psychopaths can get better if they want to. Can you post links to videos? I don't want to sort threw them all. I'm pretty sure he is a cluster b personality disorder.

[Ceridwen18]

Interesting. My partner is a self-confessed sociopath. I know how this affects me. I'm wondering how many others on PC may have partners with these traits, and how it affects them.

[leomama]

Originally Posted by Ceridwen18

Interesting. My partner is a self-confessed sociopath. I know how this affects me. I'm wondering how many others on PC may have partners with these traits, and how it affects them.

My ex is in total denial

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Originally Posted by rainyday107

I'm fine. You asked about lying and the lies you were told reminded me of lies my brother told his wife. I thought that might be insightful to you. I won't post again. I posted to support you. That's all.

That was a great story. Post away!

[longstrangelife]

Originally Posted by leomama

I already talked to my former psychiatrist about him being a psychopath and he said even psychopaths can get better if they want to. Can you post links to videos? I don't want to sort threw them all. I'm pretty sure he is a cluster b personality disorder.

This is 1 of the best.

This is a psychopath who was caught and his charm is so characteristic it's scary.

Remember that most of them are not serial killers. But I don't think they capable of not lying. I don't know why. Maybe it's because in their mind nothing is their fault. They blame everything on either another person or a non specific thing like Obamacare.

[leomama]

Originally Posted by longstrangelife

This is 1 of the best.

This is a psychopath who was caught and his charm is so characteristic it's scary.

Remember that most of them are not serial killers. But I don't think they capable of not lying. I don't know why. Maybe it's because in their mind nothing is their fault. They blame everything on either another person or a non specific thing like Obamacare.

Yes he would rant against Obama care. I'll watch those later, thank you.

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