[htoun]

My son's ex-girlfriend / my grandson's mother has been diagnosed with PTSD, Boarderline Personality disorder, anxiety, sleep issues and maybe depression. I am trying to be supportive but sometimes it is hard. Sometimes I just want her to leave me alone. I am not her mother and I can't choose her over mine. She has been taking her visitation of late and at first I thought this was good but now I'm not so sure. I feel that she missunderstands most of what I say or takes it wrong and takes everything my son says as an acquisition. My son has custody and he isn't making rules to annoy her. They are rules for the baby's well being and our sanity. Things like healthy food and no afternoon nap after 4pm. Lately the baby is playing a weird sort of stunt where he pretends to hit himself then drops to the floor like a tko. She says there is no play fighting when they are out but who knows. It just seems that she has no worry for the consistences. The biggest problem with this is the baby is 2 and big for his age. If he starts to play fight with an other kid he may hurt them.

She is on her third boyfriend since my son so there are people in and out of the baby's life. But gets upset if my son talks to a girl, even thought he hasn't brought anyone home. I realize she is sick but sometimes I just want to scream. I feel like she has taken my life hostage and that I am paying for her parents. I didn't even live in this town when she was young. Her family is no real help and from what I can tell sort of got her diagnosed at 12 but didn't fallow through. She isn't even letting her mother see the baby these days.

If she were mine I would growl at her we would have an argument, then agree that we are very annoying people. If I growl at her she cries. If I don't answer at text I'm mad or something horrible has happened. I shouldn't have to worry about how she will react to things I want to do.

It is all just so very frustrating. My youngest son and daughter moved away because of her. Not that I blame them if I had a place to go I would have moved too. She has caused problems with in our family and my marriage. Not to mention the emotional scaring of at least two of her old boyfriends. My son is so very mad at her. They aren't even talking anymore and she talks to me like I'm in charge. My son has custody not me. Yes they live in my house but he is the custodial parent.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrr

Sorry about the ramble but it all has to go somewhere and here is as good a spot as any

[htoun]

I thought long and hard about this over the day I'm frustrated with her but I am mad at my family. I know my son is hurt but he has to learn to deal with her she is the baby's mother. I have no idea what is up with my hubby but he is withdrawn and drinking so no real help. They aren't being very helpfully. Neither is any group or organization. My dr said that it was amazing that my son stepped up to the plate and that most men would not!! He has since retired good cause that is the stupidest thing I have ever heard. Oh and the dr was a man.

My other two I know it was best that my daughter moved to be closer to the school they didn't get a long and the two living here would have torn the family apart worse than it is now. My youngest doesn't do confrontation never has and didn't think he could deal with the tension that was our house.

Mean while it all falls on me. She isn't really talking to me right now so I'm not sure how she is feeling. She hasn't had any bad days in a while which is good but no one can be that up all the time. Maybe the new meds are working. I do know that our not wonderful universal health care has dropped her psych appointments to once a month. My understanding of BPD is that it needs lots of one on one time not sure how once a month qualifies. Her grandmother has been ill and that worries me too. As near as I can figure her grandmother is the only person who has been consistently nice and has never ever abandoned her. Her health is failing if her grandmother goes she may fallow.

Every time I think we are rounding a corner and seeing light at the end of the tunnel it turns out to be a train. I'm not sure what to do or if there is anything I can do. frustrating

Anyone else in a similar boat

Just wanted to say I'm thinking of you xoxo

[htoun]

Thanks rainyday107 I'm working on growing some patiences. It's hard and she had a loud melt down in my front entry and driveway. I don't like people yelling at me though I shouldn't have replied to anything she said. It's just hard when she is attacking me and mine.

I have to remember that when she is like that nothing I say will help. Most importantly make sure the grandson isn't around for that. We try not to say anything negative about her but he is a smart boy and knows his parents don't get along or ever like each other

htoun, i am sorry that you are having issues. It is difficult dealing with extended family besides our own. people do affect us. i am sending hugs and strength your way... blessings

[htoun]

Thanks mrsassy. With the yelling and a few other thing she is doing I am afraid that she is heading for an other break down. She replaced her family with us and has replaced us with the new boyfriends family. So I don't have anyone to tell. All we can do is protect the baby and pray.

I like her most of the time. I know she is sick and I know she loves her son. Just have to trust that she will be able to not visit as often if she starts getting into trouble again.