[newhere2016]

I have been dealing with a partner who has gone through a range of emotions that are so confusing to me that I don't know what to make of them or where to guide him.

I have posted once before. He lost his mom at 3 and was shipped across country to live with an aunt (and many husbands) who was physically and emotionally abusive on a consistent basis. Some of the stories I heard were criminal in my opinion.

He is almost 40 now and is definitely having some kind of breakdown. I have made appointments for therapy and he has yet to go. He has a range of issues and symptoms as follows:

He says he is 16 years old in his mind
He admitted he created a false persona for years to be the perfect partner
- He has hid many parts of himself from me
- He has seemingly different personalities with me, family, work, etc.
He said he is unable to feel any emotion
He thinks he is unworthy of anything and does everything to please others
- Even when it costs him happiness and/or comfort
He goes through periods of shutting me out and then talking a bit (and back)
He suffers from terrible anxiety and won't admit it
- He has HBP and other health issues that I think may be a result

We have been together for years and these issues have surfaced over the last 7 months or so. I really don't know what to do and don't want to confide this with everyone local. Any input would be appreciated/

[Mygrandjourney]

Welcome to the forum. It sounds like your partner could benefit from professional help. Is he? Failing that, you could certainly seek support via an organization such as NAMI (name.org) which offers education/support for family members/significant others. We cannot diagnose or offer specific treatment suggestions on this forum, as it does require professional consultation. The hopeful thing is that in your area (Boston) there are several top notch programs and plenty of teaching hospitals that have adjunct outpatient clinics to provide treatment. Many offer sliding scales and/or take Medicaid.

[Skeezyks]

Hello newhere2016: You know... really... there's not much you can do here I don't believe. You've made appointments for therapy for your partner to which he has not gone. From what you wrote, it sounds as though you're being as supportive as you can be. The ball is really in his court, so to speak.

Your partner of almost 40. If he will not, or cannot, take responsibility for his own healing, you cannot lead him to it, much as you might like to. The important thing here, from my perspective, is for you to do what you need to do to take care of yourself. Ultimately, this is the only thing you really have control over.