[leomama]

Hi everybody,
I was wondering if anybody in this group has chosen to stay with a partner who lies?

I once read this article that stated if the man accepted that the woman he loves lies, then he could stay with her, in a nutshell. I'm trying to find that article and I've come across articles about unconditional love and how to repair a relationship after lying.

Has anybody else grappled with this issue? I know this is a common issue, but when mental illness is involved it complicates things.

Also if anyone has any articles they've read on this subject that they think might be helpful I would be happy to see them.

leo mama

[Psychosiad]

My boyfriend lies all the time... But I think most of the time he's done it to try and protect me.
I suppose it depends why they are lying.
I have accepted it, but if I really want the truth it frustrates me, but then again sometimes I don't like the truth.

[leomama]

I have heard that line about protecting me and I think that's a lie as well.
How long have you been with him?
Does he have a dx?

[mindwrench]

I was with my x for 6 years. I knew she was dishonest about her online activity since the first year. I moved out three times and came back. There were other reasons I wanted to stay, but yes dealing with someone who I knew for certain would lie to my face was a wedge between us in the relationship. In the end I had decided I wasn't going to leave her anymore, that's when she decided to end things.

[Atypical_Disaster]

The thing is, everyone chooses to have relationships with liars. Everybody lies. The question is how much lying are you willing to put up with? It's really a matter of how high your tolerance for lies is, along with how much your partner is lying.

[Psychosiad]

Originally Posted by leomama

I have heard that line about protecting me and I think that's a lie as well.
How long have you been with him?
Does he have a dx?

I've been with him for 4 years.
I thought it was a lie too but I hope it's not... To be honest I never know when he's lying and when he's not anymore ! Sorry, what is a dx?

[leomama]

Diagnosis

[leomama]

Originally Posted by Atypical_Disaster

The thing is, everyone chooses to have relationships with liars. Everybody lies. The question is how much lying are you willing to put up with? It's really a matter of how high your tolerance for lies is, along with how much your partner is lying.

Good response. Does everyone lie?

[Atypical_Disaster]

Originally Posted by leomama

Good response. Does everyone lie?

I have yet to meet or hear of anyone who's never told a lie. It's a matter of degree, nothing more.

[leomama]

Originally Posted by Atypical_Disaster

I have yet to meet or hear of anyone who's never told a lie. It's a matter of degree, nothing more.

I mean presently speaking everyone lies?

[leomama]

Originally Posted by mindwrench

I was with my x for 6 years. I knew she was dishonest about her online activity since the first year. I moved out three times and came back. There were other reasons I wanted to stay, but yes dealing with someone who I knew for certain would lie to my face was a wedge between us in the relationship. In the end I had decided I wasn't going to leave her anymore, that's when she decided to end things.

Did your x have a diagnosis?

[Atypical_Disaster]

Originally Posted by leomama

I mean presently speaking everyone lies?

If I'm understanding your question correctly: not everyone is always lying at the same time. I'm just saying that it's human nature to be dishonest, and some are more dishonest than others...

[leomama]

Originally Posted by Atypical_Disaster

If I'm understanding your question correctly: not everyone is always lying at the same time. I'm just saying that it's human nature to be dishonest, and some are more dishonest than others...

I'm saying that people can stop lying, and there are some people that don't lie that much.