[wondering1234]

This week was the four year anniversary of my boyfriend’s father’s death. His father committed suicide and my boyfriend quickly had to step up and be the man of his household. This sense of responsibility didn’t let him grieve right away. In fact, he still feels he hasn’t fully grieved his father’s death. I can’t pretend to know the pain he’s going through, but I feel so helpless. I did everything I could to support him and love him and he still decided that he needed to heal on his own before continuing in a serious relationship. I know he was right to do this for himself. I can’t expect him to have a mask of happiness on for his whole life. But he has admitted that he feels seriously depressed and refuses to get any help for it (most namely, medication). He says he just wants to be 100% naturally happy, but consistently feels that therapists aren’t helpful. I try to understand this but coming from my own family that has dealt with depression for many years, I know my own father wouldn’t be alive right now if it weren’t for the proper medication. I love him enough to let him go and heal on his own but at the end of the day, because I love him, I want him to gain his happiness with tools that are available to him. It’s my understanding that no one has to live like that. I know that getting help has to come from him but we are both so out of control and lost right now, I don’t know how to move forward.

[Victoria'smom]

Let him know you're there and give him space. He has to choose to get help but this sounds like situational depression which meds don't help much. A good grief therapist would be best but that's up to him.

[Skeezyks]