[babkababy]

Is anyone here married to a complex trauma survivor?

[Lost_in_the_woods]

I am a complex trauma survivor and I am married.

[babkababy]

What are some things that your spouse does to help you?

[Lost_in_the_woods]

What helps and hurts a complex trauma survivor is impossible for anyone else but that individual to really know. The nature of complex trauma is extremely hard to untangle..myself I don't even know what my original trauma was because it happened at such a young age and it is blocked. I don't even know if I want to uncover it ever! Because, nobody noticed or reported or whatever..it was never addressed as far as I know.though we know our mother push us off onto a therapist by 8yrs old but she denies that there was any trauma at all in our life!..she says the therapist was because I was a difficult problem child...so difficult and problematic that she would forget about us for hrs on end. While just playing alone in room quietly talking to self. But whatever. So been in therapy since 8. Stopped going around 18. Back in at 26. Been dxd with everything under the sun put on every med made...no help most made things worse. Spent so much time banging my head against the wall not understanding why everything kept getting worse and nothing helped..family disowned me..started drinking as a teen and other self medicating off and on over the yrs. Been completely sober for yrs now. I lucked out in the fact that I didn't inherit the addiction gene that runs in family. I never had to struggle or crave or deprive. Just stopped one day because I realized I just didn't want to live like that anymore..and a good thing too! Because once sober for over a year..I could be more accurately assessed. First complex ptsd..then DID (MPD). Which finally explained why I was always so confused and got called a liar, thief, bad uncaring person..numb disconnected, everything that I never could understand and just gave in to hopeless depression finally made some sense. Though over all this time many failures, losses, and abusive relationships, and other awful stuff I don't ever want to write about had occurred..thus it's a tangled up sticky messed ball of bizarreness and horrible memories to recover one by one resolve and too many disconnected shards of incomplete parts that need to be discovered, their particular issues resolved and then puzzled together to make a whole hopefully someday functional? Single minded core conscious adult human.. so you see I could tell you what does and does not help me..but another part of me has entirely different needs and so on and so forth...and my story is just one of the infinite outcomes/ presentations that can occur from a lifetime of untreated trauma..so it would not be nessecarily beneficial or applicable to I'm assuming your spouse?..condition. sorry. wish for all trauma survivors that I had a magic cure...but no such luck...they didn't call it complex for frivolous reasons that's for sure! Now with the dsm5.. it is all just called ptsd..the dxs are not separate but there are subtypes of criteria so it's like Type A...B..or c..or something now..not that the label makes it any different. All of it is foolishness. A waste of a life..a child that literally would have been better off never born..because what is the point of life if you are already irreparably broken before you ever even have the chance to thrive??...sorry in a bad space presently...our husband is NOT HELPING IN THE SLIGHTEST ATM. He is hurting us greatly..right now. He's not a bad guy or at least I don't think he,was but now nothing makes sense..no reality. Sorry this is the exact opposite of helpful as well...I'm sure another part of me would have something better to offer..I'll write a note and hope we can help more soon. ¤M. HVK