[January]

My mom has had a mini stroke. She has had a major one before as well as heart attacks and a host of other things. We almost lost her this time last year and it took 4 months to get her well enough to come home.

We have a member of the family in Iraq. Mom lives for him to come home. His wife has caused Mom so much stress and hurt that she caused Mom to have the mini stroke. It's not an accusation; it's a fact.

I took Mom to a regular check up today for her deep venous phlebitis. She's gone to this Dr since I was very little and I could not understand why she insisted I not drop her off and come back and get her. She absolutley wouldn't be left there alone. So I went in with her.

Then I understood. She couldn't remember to tell the Dr that she had a mini stroke. She couldn't remember the name of it. She was afraid to be left alone trying to explain and my heart broke into a million peices.

My Mom has told a dear family friend that she is dying. She would never, ever talk like that normally. Never!

I want to call the Red Cross and get them to have him fly home from Iraq. I'm afraid she's not going to make it, but she's not in intensive care or anything like that so I don't think they would help me.

Now I see so many things I just didn't understand before. She can't hear. I can't buy her hearing aids and she desperately needs them. All her friends are dying. We've had so many deaths in the last few months. She's afraid she won't get to see J again. She is afraid... I don't now how to fix it. I just don't know how...and I feel like I'm failing her.

[SeptemberMorn]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{Jan}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

My 2 cents worth is, "nothing ventured, nothing gained." Talk to the Red Cross. You'll never know what the parameters really are until you do.

As for the hearing aids, doesn't Medicare pay for them? Does she have a secondary insurance that would pick up some of the cost?

Keep your dear mom away from this person that causes her so much grief! What's wrong with some people?? Doesn't this person have anything better to do??

[bebop]

Jan what did the dr say? She is in the hospital right? I would go ahead and make that call to try to get him home. it is worth a shot. I am sorry you are having to go thru this hon. btw my dad says he isn't going to live much longer either but he still keeps going!

[January]

Mom isn't in the hospital. The tests are being run outpatient. She's terrified that if she goes back in the hospital she'll end up in the nursing home/rehab place again. I don't blame her. I'd be terrified, too.

You see, when my Mom was only 17, she got TB and they took her away and put her in a TB sanitarium until she got better. The nursing home brought back horrible things to my Mom. If somone, anyone had just told me what was happening, I would have sat with her all night. I can't do something about a problem if I don't know it exists.

The person who upset Mom so much that she had a mini stroke has changed her phone number and won't talk to either of us although we have absolutely no idea why. None.

Thank you for your good thoughts and prayers. Thank you for telling me that your Dad says that, Be.

Love and hugs to all,

Jan

[wickedwings]

(((((Jan)))))) i had a stroke 2 years ago at the age of 33. i've been deaf and half-blind since birth. i so understand the stress of the entire matter.

talk to the red cross. fight, if you can. i'm in the middle of a battle with my insurance company for coverage of a treatment i so badly need and having been waiting for the last year for. i'm doing this, so i can continue to share myself with others, as i have plenty of years of my life left to live. as for your mom's situation, i understand the urgency to get j back home from iraq.

i want to commend you for picking up on the little things and "silent" things that were unspoken by your mom. many people don't pick up on those "signals." no wonder your mom's so terrified. i wish you and your mom the best.

[AAAAA]

(((((January and family)))))

I'd definately talk to the red cross. It's a lot of red tape and paper work, but usually the doctor is more than willing to help it out. Doctor's these days realize how important moral is to patiences and if having the family member home will help her moral they're usually happy to fill out the paperwork. I wish you and your family all the best.

[Zorah]

{{{{{{{{{{January}}}}}}}}}} dear friend

We agree with everyone else, it's definitely worth giving it a go with the Red Cross.

Can you reassure your mother that she will never be put in a nursing home again? It must have triggered her badly. Can you arrange for someone to contact you so that you can be with her if this happens again ?

Our mother said she wouldn't live much longer for at least 15 years before she died at age 96.

Darling friend, PM us any time, tc of yourself.

[Juliaspavlov]

Sorry if this is a silly suggestion

but would Dr.Phil or Oprah be interested
in your mum's plight. I often see them
doing something like a satellite hook up
and it brings comfort to people.

(((((January)))))

[youOme]

People do have a sense of themselves and what is becoming of them. There is a possibility that she is still recovering on not thinking clearly or there's a possibility that she knows exactly what she is talking about. My grandmother knew her last week, she didn't mention it to anybody but me. She waited till I had my second baby then let go the next week. Some how there is a little control there.

I hope something can be worked out for your mother and seeing the family member in Iraq. It is important if this is what she really wants.

[youOme]

I forgot to mention, when my grandmother was terminally ill my mother contacted the Make a Wish Foundation, and they granted her a wish. Unfortuntley she got worse and was unable to travel and they gave her the funds instead....but the point it they did grant her a wish and were very nice supportive people.