[sixblairs]

Does anyone have any experience with a narcissistic spouse? I need help!!! I've got 4 children under the age of 15 and a husband that was recently diagnosed with NPD. We are in the middle of a divorce that HE filed because I exposed the "real" person behind the mask. Is there hope of effective therapy?
thanks,
sixblairs

sixblairs,

First, Hi and welcome to PsychCentral.
I'm so sorry for what you and your family are going through. In my experience personality disorders are very tough to get out of. Don't have direct experience with Narcissistic disorder-- but, been going to therapy for 1½ years for my personality disorder and it's a slow process at best.

Don't mean to make it sound hopeless, I imagine if the person is really willing and has much support from others, then there could be hope. But narcissists usually don't think they are the ones that need the help-- so getting them to stick with therapy would be a big task- IMO.

Are you or your husband in therapy now? If he won't go, you might consider going yourself--- as getting some insight coping with all that is happening can help in your feeling more supported.

I wish you and your family well. t/c

mandy

[sixblairs]

Thank you Mandy for your response.

We have gone to numerous counselors prior to him filing for divorce. Last week I took my kids to a Christian family camp and allowed him to go but he had to stay in a separate cabin. I did this for the kids sake. While there, we met with their camp counselor whose specialty is narcissism! I agreed to return this week, but the counselor wants to meet with us individually which I feel like is a good idea. He also does family counseling so if nothing else this is a Godsend for me and my children.

I wish you well with your therapy.

Susan

[90mphINneutral]

How long have you two been married? You know all divorced are 50/50, he may think highly of himself (narcissism) but you probably did things too. I have been called a narcissist by my bf, my therapist so I probably have NPD too who knows, haven't been fully diagnosed just that I have "narcissistic tendancies" hmm anyway I really don't know what to tell you because I really don't see the problem.

[sixblairs]

I've been married for 17 years. He has been dagnosed with NPD. My father, I have now learned is NPD and probably why I tolerated the behavior for so long. I know there are things that I did that were not perfect, however, many of them were in reponse to the abuse. I know now how to better respond which is MUCH easier since he is not living with us. I have 4 children under the age of 15 that I have to protect from his abuse towards me primarily, but them also. Being a child of a N makes for a very difficult life for a child.

[LMo]

The problem, 90mph, is that narcissistic people usually alienate themselves from other people. ie. what you call "high self esteem" is seen as "stuck up" and it's quite a turnoff to spend much time with someone who thinks they are perfect and have no reason to consider suggestions for improvement.

[LMo]

Hi Sixblairs:
I am not married to a narcissist but my T is certain that my dad has the disorder. Here is a link to my thread about that from last year, if you're bored:

LMo's Dad

[gardenergirl]

LMo's Dad sounds a lot like my dad....

gg