[Desire]

Hi all, I got diagnosed with Depression 6 yrs ago, but it's obvious there's something else going on, I'm sure i've got Borderline PD, maybe others too, i dunno, BPD is the only one i'm sure on. I've been referred by a Psychiatrist for a First Stage Assessment @ a Therapeutic Community, they deal with PD's, dunno if this means he thinks I have one. Saw my new Psyc the other day for the first time & asked for a sicknote & he asked what diagnosis I wanted putting on it, saying there was some question over a PD. It seems there's so many things link into this, like i'm hopeless with money, it's all gone within seconds & I never seems to keep up with bills, I spend on things I don't want/need. I got a loan once & bought a motorbike helmet for about £400 or £500 quid, I didn't need it, then came home & swapped it for an old one I used to use that my housemate had. I collected these Piggin figurines & had loads, cause I collected them obsessively, not a few at a time, when I had some inheritance I blew it on the huge ones, then gave the lot away to my ex's Mum & Sister who collected them. I get alot of suicidal thoughts, but haven't attempted it, I did self harm for a few years, 8 I think, on & off. But never badly, only once did I need hospital attention, the rest was me hitting myself, which didn't even bruise, weird cause I bruise easy & it hurt like hell, or I used to cut with glass or a knife, but only until it bled, never deep. I only have a few scars from that. My boss said I see things as black or white, which I wasn't aware of. I know I get obsessed & abit addicted to stuff. I feel empty or alone, not sure, and I hate myself alot & blame myself for alot of things. I just dunno but BPD seems to describe me perfectly

[Eva1nder]

Hi Desire and welcome

I belong to bpdworld and I think that you joined over there as well...it's nice to see you here to if that's the case

You list many bp tendencies and it's good that you are getting help and getting checked to see exactly whether or not you have bp so that you can get the correct diagnosis and treatment.

It's good you are in a place to accept the problem and look for help

You're at a great site here with many great ppl that offer good support.

If you ever need anything pm me anytime.

Take care
Eva

[Rapunzel]

Personality disorders often aren't covered very well by insurance or other health problems. Part of the reason for that is that they are considered long-standing, and insurance or whoever pays the bills would rather get out of paying for stuff, so they tend to think that if it's the way your personality is, they shouldn't have to pay to treat it. My opinion is that personality disorders may often be the underlying factor that keeps us suffering from depression or anxiety or whatever else. The personality disorder needs to be treated, but if you are having difficulties with it, there probably is another dx that can be accurately applied as well, and that will help to keep the insurance people happy. That's probably what your psych was thinking about when he asked what dx you wanted him to put on there. It's also true all too often that you get better treatment if it is for something other than a personality disorder. There is unfortunately a lot of stigma associated with personality disorders. Also, they are not easy or fast to treat, but they certainly can be treated and should be.

I have lots of personality disorders (well, at least 3 - I don't think I have as many as my quiz results show in the other thread, but borderline, avoidant, and dependent do fit pretty well). This week it may not show, but I actually have made a lot of progress, so there is hope.

[Desire]

Thanks for the replies, yeah, i'm on BPDWorld too, and a few other places, the online support is amazing compared to the medical support. I'm not in the states, so don't deal with insurance, but I see how you mean with the long standing aspect. Right now the suggestion is I go to a Therapeutic Community & see if I fit their criteria for treatment.Not too sure how I feel about that, I think it'd make me worse maybe! The net is what keeps me going lol maybe the idea is to part from it & get r/l help, but forums are everything to me, thanks for replying it means alot xxxxx

[90mphINneutral]

You do seem to describe the borderline personality pretty well. I can relate in the fact that I can't be trusted with money. I go on these shopping sprees with my friends and I don't think how it will affect me in the lon run. Once I get my pay check it's gone. I have a lot of issues with impulsity. I have been diagosed with borderline/narcissistic personality disorders. So I know exactly where you're coming from.